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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Political apathist horrified by guidance for schools from local council. What to do?

34 replies

brighton19 · 06/10/2018 22:07

I have namechanged for this.

Let me begin by saying that I am not a political person. I have no interest in it, no faith in it, and ideally, spend no time discussing it. On a societal level there are some things that happen which seem like good ideas to me and others which I disapprove of but I don't kid myself that anyone is swayed by what I think about them, so in general I don't waste my energy. I turn out and cast my vote once every four years, don't believe that that action in itself changes anything much, and the rest of the time I live my life and concentrate my energies on the things I can impact positively, i.e my family and friends, work and community. I am generally happy with this state of affairs.

In accordance with the above, I'm not a big follower of the news and here on MN tend to stay away from political / currents events threads. However, you would have to be living under a rock to not have come across the endless discussions on trans rights. So I am not totally clueless about these issues, but until today I have essentially shaken my metaphorical head at the ridiculousness of it all and moved on with my life.

Today posted on facebook by my local council was this (www.brighton-hove.gov.uk/content/press-release/trans-guidance-schools-helps-tackle-stereotyping-and-keep-children-safe). It's guidelines for schools about how to deal with trans children. There is nothing new here but I suppose seeing it here in reference to the schools my children will attend in a few short years is horrifying, bewildering and has provoked, for perhaps the first time ever, the feeling that I cannot just let this one slide over me.

Here is an excerpt, from a list of scenarios exemplifying the guidance previously stated (emphasis mine): "Parent to school: ‘My daughter doesn’t want a boy changing next to her – what if he looks at her body?’

'Underpinning this scenario is the idea that a trans girl is not a ‘real girl’ and this would be something that a whole setting approach would challenge through training and awareness raising. A Human Rights response would be to state that the child is a girl and as such has
the right under the Equality Act to change with the girls and to be treated fairly as such. In response to this parental concern, it would not be appropriate to remove the trans pupil from the changing rooms, but to work together with the parent raising a concern and their
child to find a different solution
. It is the responsibility of members of staff to support both trans pupils and students and
cisgender pupils and students to feel comfortable around one another and to ensure the safety and wellbeing of all in the changing rooms."

Well, clearly, I refute the notion that a trans girl is a 'real' girl, having as she would a penis and testicles rather than a womb and a vagina. My first and foremost objection to this is purely and simply academic. Are schools really teaching this? In biology as well as whatever PSE is called these days? If the school was teaching creationism instead of evolution, I wouldn't be alright with that. How is this different?

Furthermore, this guidance is saying that if I as a parent complain about the presence of a trans girl who retains her penis and testicles changing in the changing room next to my daughter or sharing her dorm room on a residential trip, the response to that will be 'awareness raising'. And that if I raised those concerns, a 'different solution' to the removal of the trans girl from the female-only space would be found, a solution, I suppose, which would stem from my 'awareness' being raised to such a level that I would come to understand the backwardness of my views?

Well fuck that. My daughter is only one year old but it is a genuinely horrifying thought that these people are her future educators. Where is the guidance that protects HER rights? And what about some guidance for schools about how to distinguish between facts and fiction, because that also seems to be in dire need, based on what I've read here.

Anyway, I'm posting here to ask the good folk of mumsnet what I can or should do. I so resent that I've been dragged into caring about this but here I am. Who should I be complaining to and what do I need to read or understand properly before I do? Please help.

OP posts:
arranfan · 06/10/2018 22:10

You might find some ideas on this discussion thread as it seems to be the same area:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3386078-brighton-and-hove-new-school-trans-inclusion-guidance

Littlemouseroar · 06/10/2018 22:13

Fill in the GRA consultation please.

brighton19 · 06/10/2018 22:14

Thank you! I will post on that thread too...

OP posts:
RepealtheGRA · 06/10/2018 22:14

Write to your MP with what you’ve written above (perhaps leave the fucks out) ask about things like liability when it all goes wrong. Ask your MP to attend the drop in that FPFW, WPUK and Transgender Trend are hosting Tuesday 16th October 10.30-12.30 Room S HoC.

DayMay · 06/10/2018 22:14

Why did you think so many parents were on threads?

Yes, females have no rights, welcome to totalitarian UK. The Emperor is running the show because MPs are too scared apparently.

Hahaha laugh or cry?

Badgerthebodger · 06/10/2018 22:19

Hello brighton19

Welcome! There was absolutely a tipping point for most of us so you’re definitely not alone in feeling a bit dragged into it all.

You could start with this thread which give s a lot of resources and the basics
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3145470-Break-it-down-for-me

You could write a complaint to your local council and ask them what impact assessments they have carried out to see if there is any impact on girls, the natal kind, with these new policies

You could ask the council, and your MP, why they are ignoring the equality act and treating trans children as though they were in the process of reassigning their gender (protected characteristic) or in actual position of a GRC (also protected characteristic) when under 18s cannot do either of these things

You could ask your MP to attend the Fair Play for Women event in the House of Commons on 16th October (I’ll find the thread and link)

Seriously. Welcome. We have all been where you are now, feeling that burning rage which signifies the transgression of one boundary too far.

brighton19 · 06/10/2018 22:32

thanks all.

I looked up the GRA consultation and started. It's quite in depth though, I think I might make a better job of it once I've understood it all a bit better so I'll come back to it.

badgerthebodger this is what I need, thank you. I will do the things you suggest.

OP posts:
Needmoresleep · 06/10/2018 22:42

Brighton, for me the consultation is tomorrow’s task. There is not a lot of time left. I understand that there is good guidance on the Fair Play for Women site.

I too am not political. I normally don’t vote. However next time round I will absolutely vote for whatever party that seems to listen to women and be prepared to protect the most vulnerable. I cannot believe what is going on, and feel that if sensible people don’t stand up, things will only get worse.

Good luck. It is horrid. And I can only admire those people who have given so much time and energy to fighting for free speech and for our daughters’ futures.

drspouse · 06/10/2018 22:42

Have you looked at the Fair Play for Women website? It has a handy guide.

Badgerthebodger · 06/10/2018 22:45

Brighton it’s well worth reading the Fair Play for Women guidance before filling in the consultation. Many of us here feel the consultation has been written in a deliberately confusing way and starts from a position which most of us do not agree with. I want to stress that it is absolutely fine to read some threads and ask some questions. There’s a misconception that any newbies with questions are immediately jumped on and given a shitty reception. It’s mainly disingenuous posters who get this response, so don’t worry Smile we’re not so terrible really

Sciencelover101 · 06/10/2018 22:53

Speak the truth and do not be controlled by science deniers

Needmoresleep · 06/10/2018 23:20

You were just saying Badger...

Disingenuous!

Badgerthebodger · 06/10/2018 23:24

Needmoresleep I’m sorry I’ve had several wines and I’m not really sure what you mean Blush

Badgerthebodger · 06/10/2018 23:26

Ah, NOW I see Grin

Needmoresleep · 06/10/2018 23:32

Sorry. Science lover has popped up and written a number of odd posts across this board. I am assuming that MN forms part of a Saturday evening entertainment. Which is the sort of poster I assumed you were warning OP about.

For OP there is a thread titled ‘Public Announcement’ that gives more details. It appears that things posted on MN are sometimes repeated on Twitter, and that some posters will post controversial stuff in order to get a response that they can then repost in their Twitter rabbit warren. It seems very odd that discussion about the safety and safeguarding of our children is treated in such a childish manner.

brighton19 · 06/10/2018 23:49

thanks everyone. I've made my way through the first few links on the thread badger linked. Now falling asleep at the laptop. I'll come back to it tomorrow...

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 06/10/2018 23:52

Rrrrrooooooaarrrrrrrrrrrrr

IHateHouseworkWithAPassion · 08/10/2018 13:27

Just looking at Brighton and Hove council's Facebook page - the many comments under the announcement of the updated Allsorts Toolkit for schools are very encouraging and show that you are not the only resident that is worried Brighton 19. Could you write to the headteachers of the local schools (that your kids might attend) and voice your concerns and ask what their policies are and if they have chosen to follow the Allsorts guidance.

brighton19 · 08/10/2018 21:58

Good idea, ihatehousework, I shall add this to my list of things to do.

I have read the break it down for me thread in its entirety and lots of the links therein, and now my head hurts. It's fascinating and horrifying in equal measure. I'm so grateful to the intelligent women who've taken the time to explain things so clearly.

I need to find some time to fill in the GRA consultation but finding the headspace (currently on mat leave with newborn DS and 21 month DD) is going to be a challenge.

OP posts:
hangry · 08/10/2018 22:10

i'm in brighton and have been checking if the schools my kids go to use this nonsense. so far one does, one doesn't (and seemed pleasingly dismissive of it) and the other is dodging me.

schools do not have to use this guidance and then can be encouraged not to.

i plan to peak trans the PTA :)

brighton19 · 08/10/2018 22:15

Interesting. My kids are newborn and 1 yr old so a way off school. I will certainly contact the headteachers locally. I wonder if they will feel the need to respond to me though, given that I have no children attending...

OP posts:
hangry · 08/10/2018 22:36

i think it's worth doing as the more people actually look in detail at this stuff the more will reject it.

BingBongSong · 09/10/2018 11:03

Hi Brighton19,

I picked up a Transgender Trend schools pack and passed it onto the pastoral team at my dc school. I also sent through this video from Michele Moore, Professor of Inclusive Education, at Northumbria University.

Have not had a response but I hope that they are at least aware now.

NotAnotherJaffaCake · 09/10/2018 11:14

Become a school governor.