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Original poster

A startling bit of hypocrisy here

68 replies

OnceUponATimeInAmerica · 02/10/2018 19:37

My first thread in here, and I am more than a little nervous about it, trying to avoid any MN transgressions, but have just stumbled on this startling/terrifying hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance. I can't find that there is a thread already, and apologise if I have missed it.

Hopefully the images attach. A tweet asking what women would do if there was a male curfew after 9pm, which in itself is not an unreasonable question. On the full thread, there are lots of suggestions from women, then a couple of men chime in with how shocked they are and why aren't women full of rage all the time. Finally, the response from the initial author saying 'we are'.

My eyes have just rolled back so fucking far, they've gone full circle. An intact adult male implies that he should be able to be out after 9pm in the event of a man curfew and that he is as enraged by male behaviour as adult females.

Stop the world, I want to get off.

A startling bit of hypocrisy here
A startling bit of hypocrisy here
OP posts:
DuckingGoodPJs · 02/10/2018 22:34

Did someone mention DM's classic IWD tweet? Here it is! I believe it has not been deleted either. DM must be so proud of it.

DM themselves should be subject to the 9pm curfew.

A startling bit of hypocrisy here
DuckingGoodPJs · 02/10/2018 22:37

As a general rule of thumb, any man who thinks he should be allowed beyond a woman’s stated boundaries is exactly the sort of man who should be kept out. I wonder what would happen if we let each individual man decide whether he’s a nice enough guy to have access to vulnerable women? I’m guessing it wouldn’t end well.

^^ THIS. Wanted to amplify this message. Thanks BadStyley

Screamqueenz · 02/10/2018 22:39

I live in the countryside, no lights.
Travel all over the world for work, been kidnapped in India in a taxi, threatened by a knife in Moscow (in a business meeting), grabbed in the street in Stockholm, and wolfcalled in almost every city.
It makes you uncomfortable, it's deeply unpleasant, it makes me scared when I'm alone. All these people were physically larger and stronger than me.
I managed every situation by fighting back, arguing back, it didn't stop me being absolutely terrified and never wanting to be in that situation again.

Screamqueenz · 02/10/2018 22:40

Sorry that was in response to lass

AnyFucker · 02/10/2018 22:41

Perhaps lass has a beard and is built like a brick shithouse like "danielle"

FoldyRoll · 02/10/2018 22:41

I did a little sick in my mouth when I saw this thread from Danielle. Oh so feminist now. Less so when exhorting women to suck Danielle's lady dick.

It's interesting that it's is about objectification and harassment, the only kind of sexism that many young women will be aware of and some TRAs get oddly titillated by. It seems less likely to alert men to inequality than to remind women to be afraid.

I have lived and worked in 9 UK cities and several European capitals and been equally comfortable and unafraid walking around all of them at 2am as at 2pm. But I am a Geordie. Wink

pennydrew · 02/10/2018 22:42

I’ve literally never known a single woman who feels completely safe out alone at night. Not one. And I’ve lived in different countries, cities and small towns.

Screamqueenz · 02/10/2018 22:46

Lets not attack each other, impressed by the women who don't feel intimidated when out alone at night.

Screamqueenz · 02/10/2018 22:47

Maybe a difficult one to answer, but why aren't you worried / scared, my experience and knowledge of others experiences has made me concerned for my safety in certain situations.
What gives you the confidence?

LassWiADelicateAir · 02/10/2018 22:49

Perhaps lass has a beard and is built like a brick shithouse like "danielle"

Sorry to disappoint you. I'm 5'4,
female, very feminine and until middle age caught up with me, slim and slightly built.

IStandWithPosie · 02/10/2018 22:50

I can’t speak for anyone else but for me I know that being afraid or not being afraid doesn’t stop whatever men want to do. They do it whether you fear it or not. Not being afraid makes it easier to go about my life. But sometimes I can’t get myself to that point so I just be afraid while going about my life.

FoldyRoll · 02/10/2018 22:50

I hope no one feels attacked by what I said.

It's annoying that women have said this stuff for all eternity. Dannielle pitches up and all of a sudden men everywhere are like 'what is this brand new information? Thank his you've got a dick, Danielle, so we are capable of hearing what you say'

RogerAllamsFangirl · 02/10/2018 22:53

I actually thought it was a very interesting thread although it's origins did make me eye roll. And I thought it did make some men reflect a little.

FoldyRoll · 02/10/2018 22:55

Dunno why I'm not scared. Never have been, even when something could have happened. Like Lass I'm petite and would be in trouble if anyone went for me. We have a right to take up space and do what we want, when we want. If someone tried to infringe on that I'd rely on righteous fury to see them off. Probably wouldn't work, but there you go.

Cel982 · 02/10/2018 22:57

Maybe a difficult one to answer, but why aren't you worried / scared, my experience and knowledge of others experiences has made me concerned for my safety in certain situations.
What gives you the confidence?

I'm another who, pre-kids, used to frequently walk alone in my city late at night, and I can't say I was ever actively worried or scared. But I was hyper-alert, in a way I doubt many men are; I would be constantly aware of exactly who was around me, and would have my keys in one hand and my phone in the other, ready for action. There was probably a false sense of security in being in a familiar place. And some of the invincibility of youth...

That said, I wouldn't like my own daughter to do it.

Screamqueenz · 02/10/2018 22:57

I understand if nothing has ever happened, you might not be worried.
My experience tells me that I need to be wary of men, particularly if it's dark, late, or there are less people around.
We learn from our own experiences.

Screamqueenz · 02/10/2018 22:59

Hyperalert tells me you were worried, it's just a different word.

LassWiADelicateAir · 02/10/2018 23:00

Same here FoldyRoll. I do remember stomping home on my own in a foul mood one Saturday night at university and a car slowed down. I was so angry at other things that had happened that night I launched into a screaming tirade of expletives and off they went. I'm not sure the driver even got a chance to say anything.

FloralBunting · 02/10/2018 23:01

It's a fucking irritating thread because I have seen so many women talk about this and receive blank looks, but when Danielle fucking Muscato starts a thread about it the menz have an epiphany?

Fuck that fucking shit.

Datun · 02/10/2018 23:02

It's my opinion that DM has form for this.

During #meToo DM said they had been tied up and raped over the course of a couple of days. But the police didn't do anything because of a loophole.

Several people were sympathetic on Twitter. At which point Muscato said they had been raped again on a separate occasion, at a different time/location.

Over the course of the thread, it appears there were at least five different occasions.

There was a thread on here about it. Which, after a bit of speculation, reached a consensus that we would ask for the thread to be pulled. Because a couple of people felt that it would be awful, if it was true.

I wasn't one of them. But I agreed to support deletion of the thread.

Datun · 02/10/2018 23:04

And when I say five different occasions, I mean five different people. And this was around the time, where Muscato wasn't presenting as anything other than a well built man with a beard.

Screamqueenz · 02/10/2018 23:10

Okay, backing out now because this is a different issue than I thought.

Datun · 02/10/2018 23:19

The issue is twofold.

Men's general complete ignorance of the way women lead their lives. Their radar continuously at a low level of risk assessment, in such a normal, ingrained way that we barely notice it.

And the possibility of men who sexually fetishise women, their biology, and their oppression, subverting it for their own pleasure.

Screamqueenz · 02/10/2018 23:25

And I thought we were discussing the first point, as that it what the first post is referencing, if you don't have the context of the twitter feed, which wasn't clear, I didn't realise that your second point was in the discussion.
Clearly, it was point two that the original post was referencing, I was just too ignorant to realise.

AngryAttackKittens · 02/10/2018 23:27

I've always been the type to go wherever I want at all hours of the night in all different parts of the world, but a. I'm probably more alert than a man would be in the same situation, b. I'm entirely aware that my willingness to do so rests partly on never having been the victim of a serious attack, and c. I'm also aware that it rests partly on being a belligerent git who can scare off at least some men just by getting visibly angry at them.

My relative good fortune doesn't mean that other women are wrong to be afraid.