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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Lurkers of FWR, pop in and say Hi!

369 replies

SophoclesTheFox · 30/09/2018 08:36

I've just been reading this thread and I am utterly blown away by the number of women who say they are lurking here.

It's quite, quite wonderful to read that thread and I wanted to acknowledge it and roll out the red carpet if any of you wanted to post. I know it can feel a bit intimidating, like you have to have the right vocabulary, or some huge knowledge of feminist theory, but you don't.

Your words are valuable, and your unique view is important because together we're powerful!

We're also rude, funny, and most of all DISRESPECTFUL in all the ways that matter. Don't just lurk: join in Grin you are very welcome.

OP posts:
CaptainKirkssparetupee · 30/09/2018 19:57

Never ever feel you have nothing worth adding, the best things are AKWAYS worth repeating!

Beesneeze82 · 30/09/2018 19:58

Hello. Lurking and learning over here too!

newmumwithquestions · 30/09/2018 20:01

Hi!
returns to lurkers corner

BesmirchingMotherhood · 30/09/2018 20:09

😘

stripes1 · 30/09/2018 20:09

Also lurking and learning lots, planning to fill in the GRA consultation on the back of all I’ve read.

BestIsWest · 30/09/2018 20:17

Longtime lurker here. Hi there!

bettythebutterfly · 30/09/2018 20:23

Lurker here - I have learned so much from reading these FWR boards. Thanks to all who have helped me clarify and strengthen my opinions, as well as question so much of what is going on at the moment.

CaptainKirkssparetupee · 30/09/2018 20:24

If I was to email my local gurdwara and mosque to make sure they are aware to the GRA consultation how would I go about it without sounding patronising, have other people done this?

FWRLurker · 30/09/2018 20:27

@TinselAngel

Yes. One day he said "I realize I am actually a guy" and promptly stopped everything. Dressing, hormones, online trans forums etc.

He doesn't like to talk about it. It's like it never happened.

I probably do have some unresolved resentment about it. Maybe discussing it with you lovely women would help.

arranfan · 30/09/2018 20:28

If I was to email my local gurdwara and mosque to make sure they are aware to the GRA consultation

Maybe ask them if they've provided any consultation guidance that you might be able to consult for examples as you're currently filling it in and want to make sure that you've provided as well-rounded a set of responses as you can?

CaptainKirkssparetupee · 30/09/2018 20:29

Good idea thanks

lakeswimmer · 30/09/2018 20:30

Another lurker here reporting in; I've been lurking on MN for many years and for the past 18 months spending a lot of time in FWR. There are so many articulate and fabulous women on here - you're an inspiration.

I haven't spoken about the trans rights debate much in real life apart from to DH and 3 teen DC - all of whom are gender critical and think it's nonsense. DS1 attends a youth group which recently sent a diversity monitoring form asking about his gender assigned at birth - I threw it on the fire in annoyance but now wish I'd filled it in and returned it explaining the errors of their ways Grin

I work for a children's organisation and am poised to ask questions about safeguarding in relation to trans issues should the need arise.

TinselAngel · 30/09/2018 20:42

@FWRLurker it'd be really interesting to hear a story of somebody who genuinely changed their mind. Those stories never get told.

AtrociousCircumstance · 30/09/2018 20:47

De lurking. Grateful for you all Star

dudsville · 30/09/2018 20:50

I lurk. I google based on things I've read here. I discuss things further with OH, friends, colleagues. The threads in feminism really ignite my thinking. I'm not active however so am just a lurker!

Catmint · 30/09/2018 21:06

I'm mainly a lurker. For a long time I couldn't understand why titles of FWR threads in active were all about trans things. I thought that feminists were going into bat on behalf of the trans community for some reason unknown to me, as I know that in general feminists will fight for other oppressed groups.

I had a look and was drawn in to the issues. Like many women, I thought I was a feminist...and I was, I was a feminist without knowledge. I had no idea that TW were claiming to be W, and it look me a while to understand why that is a bad thing. I certainly had no idea that there were trans people without, ' gender dysphoria'. I was profoundly shocked to learn about AGP...but it explained so much.

My IL's have a friend whose husband transitioned late, he is an absolute hellish individual. These threads led me to the trans widows threads which I have passed on to my ILs to pass on to their friend.

Now I am angry. I'm furious about the way that men are squeezing women out and institutions are letting it happen. I can't let it happen without challenging it.

With @uncomfortablydumb and other friends from MN, we are exploring our understanding and our anger. We are adding our voices.

Thank you all.

Scarecrows · 30/09/2018 21:13

I'm a frequent lurker that has a lot to learn and don't feel I have much to add to the knowledgeable posters. I am in awe of the bravery and knowledge of those posting and those sticking their heads above the parapet.

I'm quiet but I'm angry!

Twotabbycats · 30/09/2018 21:25

I'm a long term lurker. Like others I don't say much because others have usually put it so well already.

I'm so glad there are women here who are willing and able to fight the cause and stick their necks out. I am following everything and have so much admiration for you all.

I do have a vested interest because a close family member is married to someone who fairly recently came out as trans in their late 50s and is throwing themselves into activism. The wife (my relative) is putting on a brave face but she is in a horrible position. She has been a feminist her whole life and was a role model to me. She is being supportive of the person she married but i think that underneath she is very conflicted.

AssignedNorthern · 30/09/2018 21:25

Lurker here trying to involve myself more by posting where I feel I can add something. I read every day. Honestly reading This board has opened my eyes on what kind of feminist I am and how much it means to me. It also "peak transed" me very quickly! Also have joined twitter and trying to follow other gc posters mainly just to like their comments for support but also to try and find gc connections local to me.

arranfan · 30/09/2018 21:29

HT to someone who reminded me of this - Mumsnet Lurkers have their own shout out in this video :) (Round about 24s)

Women Are Fighting Back v.2 by Terfy McTerfFace

Jillcrewespony · 30/09/2018 21:29

Another quietly angry lurker here. I am in awe of the energy and activism of some of you. Thank you.

GreenFirefly · 30/09/2018 21:32

I've signed in for the first time in weeks especially to delurk. Actually my only other post recently was in Fem Chat too. I worry for my daughters.

Mc180768 · 30/09/2018 21:36

Lurker too. Have learned so much & while active on Twitter, here is where I often punch the air shouting 'Why didn't I say that'

Glasstree · 30/09/2018 21:36

Another lurker saying hi! I also wanted to say thank you to all the women here and elsewhere speaking up. I am working up to adding my voice where I can. Like so many, I am frightened of the very real repercussions it would have in terms of my career of even raising and debating some of these issues and ashamed because I know so many women are facing similar but speaking up anyway. I have filled in the consultation and will do what I can to support.

Acopyofacopy · 30/09/2018 21:40

Lurking and learning over here, too. The whole family - dh and teenage dcs are gender critical.
I work in education and I am collecting arguments in order to speak up when the time comes at my workplace. 💪