Lurkers of FWR, pop in and say Hi!

[SophoclesTheFox]

I've just been reading this thread and I am utterly blown away by the number of women who say they are lurking here.

It's quite, quite wonderful to read that thread and I wanted to acknowledge it and roll out the red carpet if any of you wanted to post. I know it can feel a bit intimidating, like you have to have the right vocabulary, or some huge knowledge of feminist theory, but you don't.

Your words are valuable, and your unique view is important because together we're powerful!

We're also rude, funny, and most of all DISRESPECTFUL in all the ways that matter. Don't just lurk: join in you are very welcome.

Apologies but I haven't rtft YET.

I've lurked for a while, reading and learning.

Today I had a problem and posted here about it. Excellent advice and wonderful support. Off to start reading.

I agree with you SymphonyofShadows, I think the tide is turning.

Well this is weird. I signed up to twitter today. In my bio I described myself as 'adult human female' and followed a few like-minded people. That's all I did. No posts. Went back on a minute ago and I've been booted off for violating their rules or some such. Fuck 'em all!

That is weird - and worrying - have you contacted them, or anyone else about it?

Hi all. I'm a lurker. I tend to stay quiet as I can't articulate myself fast enough in a debate. I've just peak trans'd my husband who said in some despair can you join a group of women and do something. Yes I can, but I don't know where to start.

Can I make any kind of impact at this point?

I haven't been able to work out how to join wpuk. I'm aware time is short. What is the most helpful thing I can do? At a minimum I want to go out and stick leaflets to the back of the doors of female toilets telling people to fill in the gra consultation. Does such a thing exist that I can print? Any guidance appreciated!

@Cazwontbudge

Can't travel much,but any other ideas gratefully accepted!

I think I read on another thread that you don’t have to be in the UK to complete the consultation. So you could get as many friends to complete it as possible?

@littlecabbage Thanks,I didn't realise that.I'll fill it in.Not sure how many friends I can get onboard though.They all seem to think Im catastrosizing

Hi! I'm a long time lurker although am "out" on Twitter and Facebook and IRL as a radfem, and sit on the board of a prominent local women's organisation.

I also work full time and have 2, very soon to be 3, DC, and find that by the time I've read FWR threads everyone has said everything so eloquently that I don't need to add anything.

I have quit Ocado this week and completed the GRA consultation, as has DH who is definitely peak transed.

Deeds not words!

Trying not to be outing here in case I am spotted but DD is studying Gender Politics during her year abroad in a country that is well down the rabbit hole. She wouldn't dare repeat some of what I say. She tells me I should be "kinder" (see another thread about this) and more tolerant. But she is lurking here, checking out references etc. Keep up the good work all you brilliant ladies, especially people like Rowan with her encyclopaedic references database. Thank you.

I know she doesn't really think people can change sex. But I do feel (and I discussed this with a colleague at work today, also DD, same age, same views) that for many younger women they just don't understand the implications. If they aren't being kicked out of a sports team in favour of a faster man, aren't in prison or a refuge, don't have children, I struggle to find a way they are affected by this, they don't care about loos, they just think we are being mean.

Also DD's best friend, working on student publication is firmly GC, and lurks here, but has to toe the line in her writing. It's really important to keep peak transing the young ones and reassuring them that they aren't alone and if they don't yet dare shout "The Emperor has no clothes" at least their Mums and Grandparents who are here are fighting for them and showing them ways to quietly resist, even if it's just filling in the Consultants with a little help from our friends at FPFW.

Hi! Long term daily lurker. I'm afraid to post openly because of my job. I've had many discussions with my DH and my 2 close friends who have all PT.
It really kills me that I don't feel I can be openly GC on Facebook and in public because of my job - it feels oppressive. I can't really find the words to say why, it just feels so wrong that I can't own my views publically.
Anyway kudos to all the brave brave posters on here, you're sticking your head above the parapet but there is a silent army building up behind you, listening to you, and cheering you on!

Just as a note to people - when you fill in the consultation via a third party such as WPUK or FPFW, once you submit it, you obtain an anonymised ID number back. Your personal details aren't public.

Please, fill in the consultation - it will make a statement that we want our voices heard..

Also a bit of a lurker, often too slow to keep Up with thread and I guess just generally lack a bit of confidence with my lack of GC theory. Also genuinely would lose my livelihood if I aired my views. So feel grateful and in awe of those who speak out. Feel ridiculously cowed at moment and am trying to think of a way to be heard and articulate myself

Arranfan - does that mean that if you submit it directly through the gov website your details are public? I've been reading both the WPUK and FPFW websites but filling it in directly, haven't submitted yet.

No - there's a Data section upfront on the government website about GDPR and privacy etc. but it's so badly-worded that I didn't want to get into it.

I can speak with confidence about the other websites as I've seen the anonymised ID token that you get back. I assume the process in the same for the govt. site but I haven't seen anybody do it that way.

I have declined to fill in the data boxes on the front page so far, but wondered if it would make me when I hit submit. I hadn't realised you could do it through the other sites. I am going to copy all my responses into a Word document to incorporate into a letter to my MP, so if it makes me add personal data I will copy them into one of the other website's versions instead.

Hey lovely lurkers. I just wanted to share my experience, if it's helpful.

I lurked for ages. Dipped my toe in occasionally.

Started to support threads where I could see people were getting a hard time.

I'm not that versed in the 'theory'. Was very nervous about posting stuff, but just saw other women getting a shit time, wondering whether others felt the same. Felt nervous about posting (visually saw the 'transphobic cosh' coming down on me, I still feel it sometimes and remind myself that we're strong, and female and know why we're doing this).

I soon realised it doesn't matter what others think (ie the Mumsnet 'watchers'). There's many more women who will have your back on this.

I realised that being labelled with the 'transphobic' badge is gaslighting.

It doesn't mean what we fear it means. Challenging this agenda doesn't mean you've suddenly become homophobic/racist/whatever negative that 'trans' wants to throw at you.

And now that I'm an irregular poster, I can't tell you how lovely it is sometimes, when you're getting a hard time, or you're throwing things into the wilderness, to have another reply.

It doesn't have to be a five-paragraph analysis of feminist theory, an articulate take-down, just a 'yay - I agree, we've got you' means a lot sometimes on these boards.

I agree pombear

My friend's dd has been confronted with intact male people in the loo at her university. Which have been changed to gender neutral, the mens loos remain the same.
She felt uncomfortable and left on both occasions.
She is very much aware and she and her mum have filled in the consultation.

ParisProperty

I wish the consultation was more widely publicised. The very fact that one exists reassures people that any doubt they have are legitimate.

I have spoken to two more friends today who have never even heard of any if this. They will fill in the consultation.