2 reasons why I couldn’t peaktrans my sister

[Destinysdaughter]

I had a chat with my older sister last week about the issues we discuss on here on a daily basis. It was much harder than I imagined it would be. She’s a woman in her 50s, ex teacher and v rational. The 2 stumbling blocks, that I struggled to refute were, her argument that, if it’s such a big deal as I was making it out to be, why wasn’t it being reported in The Guardian, the BBC, R4, Women’s Hour etc ( the main places where she gets her news information).

The other sticking point was her assumption that trans women were men who had had a sex change operation, AKA old school transsexuals. She was perfectly ok with them being regarded as women. However she just couldn’t believe that men who are actually what would have been considered transvestites were now claiming to be women. It really brought it home to me what we are up against when I think a majority of the unsuspecting public may well think like this.

Just wanted to share this and would appreciate any advice in countering these arguments?

Huff post sorry

I'm having trouble with DH and quite a few friends as well, all very left-liberal-inclusion in their outlook (as am I!). Their argument is that there are so few trans people out there that what's the big deal, the likelihood that you will ever come across one is vanishingly small, they're not going to take over/take space away from women and that basically I've become this massive obsessed conspiracy theorist.

There was even a passing reference to pedo-scares in the 1990s and people who saw pedophiles round every corner which really infuriated me, and then they were angry that I supposedly saw everyone with a penis as a threat and asked if I saw them as a threat - I cut the conversation off there.

There was a lot of stuff about trans people having been the most marginalised group in history as well and that we had an obligation of inclusion. I think that narrative has certainly taken hold.

Xiaoxiong I suppose it's easy to say it's 'no big deal' when it's not your rights at stake and you have more to gain from the changes than to lose.

There are 100s of examples now about why standing up for women's rights is so necessary, from basic safeguarding (pooh poohing the penis threat after #metoo #WhyIdidnotreport and #webelieveher is SO radical eh!) to sports, prisons, hospital wards and All Women Shortlists. Women should not have to make room for men, no matter how oppressed these men feel they are, in spaces they have had to fight for.

Take heart from today's news from Cambridge, that legally the council have to follow the Equalities Act. Trans rights cannot take precedence over women's rights, that would be unequal rights.

If you're talking about male-bodied* rapists in women's prisons what's the tipping point for "no-deal" to become "big deal"? Would one or two be OK and once you hit three the risk is too high?

Either someone is willing to say that male-bodied rapists who identify as transwomen should be in women's prisons or they're acknowledging that transwomen are not women.

• ie bepenised

Xioaxiong, you could try telling your DH's friends that they are lovely people too but you wouldn't fancy having to get undressed with them and how would they like their daughters getting undressed in front of your DH? It's about a lot more than rapiness; it's about dignity and respect and boundaries. It' shocking that more people don't seem to get that.