he says there's more chance of them getting run over by a bus or attacked by a man still presenting as a man than there is of them getting hurt by a MTF
Does he understand why you used car seats for them as littles ?
The vast majority of us survived the 70s. But low risk is only half of the equation. High stakes is the other half. Which is why we strap our kids in. Because if you gamble on low risk and are among the relatively unlucky few who lose ...you, and your child can pay a life long price, that is emotionally a lot more than the majority can afford.
That equation is why we vaccinate. Child proof our homes. Nag them about being sensible and say "would you jump off a cliff if your friends told you to ?". Don't let them walk up the slidey part of the slide etc. etc.
It doesn't stop when they aren't so tiny anymore. There is an expression over here.
Small children, small problems. Big children, big problems.
As they get older you have to up your parental game in the low risk/stupidly high stakes zone. Not just abandon your parental role in the matter cos you (erroneously) think your work is done once they are less likely to clock their head on the corner of the coffee table now they walk reliably.
Maybe I've just lived in Italy too long to be able to see it with the most appropriate cultural lens. But I do not understand men who do not want to stand shoulder to shoulder to protect the women and children they love from stupidly high stakes, once they are aware that these high stakes are becoming part of the landscape.
Especially high stakes scenarios that are screamingly obvious and are so relatively easy to avoid compared to others.