Gender Critical views gaining traction

[AusDad]

Hi MN! Gender-critical bi man here, first-time poster, long-time lurker and lover of this community, fully acknowledging I'm here in what is predominantly a women's space on MN, so feel free to ignore my views if that's how you feel :) I know many of you are sick of hearing a man's perspective, and understandably so, but I wanted to offer my support and thoughts to those in this community.

Over the past 12-24 months I have seen more and more women coming out against radical transgender ideology. This has been natural a reaction to the growing trans activism madness which has been creeping in the last 5-10 years.

I see women angry and hurt and upset that their words and identity are being taken from them without consultation. They don't feel safe in their spaces. Their sporting achievements and opportunities are being taken away. They see the definition of what it means to be a woman not just blurred, but completely made a joke of.

I see trans people and their allies threatening women both online and in real life. Threats of violence (and actual violence sometimes). Threats of death. Use of the term TERF to silence women who disagree with their words and identities being redefined.

I see the push by many in the gender critical community to get the term TERF considered a slur, and I think this is working. The moment the word TERF is used, all debate is shut down. Women no-platformed and silenced. They use the word TERF as a convenient catch-all for what they really mean, which is "women who disagree with us about what it means to be a woman".

Take any of the hateful tweets or comments about TERFs and substitute the word TERF for those words (women who disagree with us) and the results are scary. These comments and threats are tolerated in society and online because they use that label - TERF. I see some women and radfems owning the term and staunchly declaring themselves TERFs. Some wear it as a badge of honour. That's fine! I the term has been poisoned though. I don't think it's possible to now have it used as a positive label. I think the push to declare it a slur is the right move.

When you dehumanise someone by giving them a label and declaring them hateful and pariahs, it makes hateful rhetoric towards them "acceptable".

I think if we want to fight back against this madness, the term "Gender critical" needs to be pushed more, and stand up against the use of the term TERF. It's an excellent term. We SHOULD be critical of gender. Gender stereotypes and roles should be fought against, not reinforced.

One benefit of uniting under such a term is that many people who do not consider themselves "trans-exclusionary" or "radical feminists" can get behind the term. This includes men. This includes women who don't consider themselves feminists.

I grew up in a household full of women. I've always been a more effeminate man. I'm thankful for the influence of all the wonderful women in my life and I have nothing but respect for them. I see the damage that gender stereotypes do to girls, boys, women, and men. These stereotypes are what we need to change, not our words and our bodies.

There's nothing wrong with being a feminine man. This does not make you a woman though.

There's nothing wrong with being a masculine woman. This does not make you a man though.

There's nothing wrong with not fitting into gender stereotypes. There's nothing wrong with you. Society is the problem. Gender is the problem. It feels like we're doing the exact OPPOSITE of what we should be doing with respect to gender.

It's infuriating to me as a man to see your words redefined, spaces invaded, voices shouted down, and told they can't celebrate their female bodies because it's offensive to others. Women threatened and made to feel bad for their deeply held (and correct) views about what a woman is. I can't even imagine how it must feel for women. One of my male privileges is that I don't get called a TERF for my views, or told to "die in a fire" or "choke on my ladydick". I'm simply called a transphobe, but at least being called a transphobe leaves room for debate. It's still a silencing technique, but not as effective as the term TERF.

We need to be louder and angrier about the silencing techniques being used and the violent language towards women. When they say TERF, we need to reject the term and make them say what they really mean; "Women who disagree with us". Object to the use of the term TERF. Ask them to not call you a TERF and say it is offensive and you do not identify as one.

Communities like this and reddit.com/r/gendercritical are growing stronger every day. Strong, brave women who are sick of being cast aside and having the rights and protections they've fought for taken away. Sick of being forced to say and accept things they don't and will not believe, because they find them fundamentally false and offensive.

I'd wager that the majority of people in western society do not truly believe the statement "Trans women are women". When you add in non-western society (the other 80% of the world population), I'm almost certain even fewer people would agree with it.

I can't speak on behalf of women, nor do I want to. I can only speak on my own behalf based on what I've seen. I can and do however want to do everything possible to support and encourage women to speak out. I'm actively encouraging gender-critical views amongst my friends and family. Advice on how I can continue to support women and promote gender criticism (criticalness?) is always appreciated.

Don't give in to their silencing. Don't let them shame or guilt you with phrases like "your transphobia is literally killing us". We all know it's not gender-critical women killing them; it's violent men. Don't foster their delusions. Don't let them control your language. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, say so. Their right to feel safe and comfortable does not trump yours. Reject their dismissal of you as a TERF; make them say what they really mean - A woman with her own thoughts who disagrees. Don't allow their threats of violence and death. Report their hate speech against women. Demand the right to be heard. You deserve a voice and a platform. You are entitled to your beliefs.

I would also recommend letting the men if your life know (if you have any; I know many women choose not to for obvious reasons) that you don't feel comfortable with the word woman being redefined and your spaces, protections, and opportunities taken from you. Talk to men about your gender critical views. Being gender critical is common sense. Men will by and large support you; as men are also sick of this trans insanity. We are just not being pushed out of our spaces like you are. If we were, we'd be up in arms. The attached image (borrowed from the sidebar of r/gendercritical) is a graphic explaining gender critical views and I've found through sharing that it is simple enough for even us men to understand :) Let men know what we can do to help. Tell us how you feel.

Don't give up what you've fought so hard for to those who insist that being a woman is a feeling. We all know it's not. We all know what a woman is. We all grew inside of one.

Sorry for the essay. Thanks if you took the time to read! And thanks to MN for not caving into radical ideology and providing a safe place for women to discuss what it means to be a woman.

The image is fundamentally flawed and is not gender-critical because it assumes that there is such a thing as a pink/female or blue/male brain and is contrasting 3 ways of managing it when the "unusual" combination is presented
There really isn't any such difference. People are people. Our bodies are sexually dimorphic (two basic forms with a tiny number of exceptions due to chromosomal abnormalities) but our brains and personalities have a vast number of different types that generally do not cluster by sex but can be heavily influenced by environment and upbringing.

Welcome to Mumsnet AusDad!
Thanks for taking the time to post and yep I’d say you’ve summed up the situation pretty well.

Thanks for explaining so clearly. Its as if all these other threads just haven't quite got to the nub of the problem so far.

Talk to men about your gender critical views. Being gender critical is common sense. Men will by and large support you; as men are also sick of this trans insanity

I've certainly found this to be the case with male colleagues at work. My female colleagues, on the other hand, seem too scared to discuss trans ideology, and have shut down the conversation when I've raised it.

The image is fundamentally flawed and is not gender-critical because it assumes that there is such a thing as a pink/female or blue/male brain and is contrasting 3 ways of managing it when the "unusual" combination is presented

I assumed it was using pink and blue to refer to femininity and masculinity as personality traits, as opposed to gendering of the brain itself. If there are any better simple visual representations of the gender critical viewpoint I'd happily share them instead/as well :)

Advice on how I can continue to support women and promote gender criticism (criticalness?) is always appreciated

Would these help ? They are male focused, designed to push back against the SM/MSM representation which is mostly "Oh just a spat between TRAs and Feminists, nothing to do with "ordinary people". And also try to encourage men to personalise the issue, by viewing it through the lens of how it would affect the women they love.

You can paste your own QR code over the one on the posters if you have something better to link to.

Thanks for explaining so clearly. Its as if all these other threads just haven't quite got to the nub of the problem so far

I think it's a great graphic that explains things pretty neatly. I also think your perspective is bang on. Plus we need men to spread the word far and wide. There's no point pretending people listen to women in the same way they listen to men. On this subject, if you're a woman, mentioning it once is treated as a faux pas, mentioning it twice evokes accusations of being obsessed and unkind. So yes, good, it's great you are speaking up.

Thanks for explaining so clearly. Its as if all these other threads just haven't quite got to the nub of the problem so far.

That's the power of mansplaining ;)

So, I see your advice for woman and what you think we should do.

How about men? What are you doing?

What is your advice for men? What do you plan to do - outside of telling women what we should do?

What you can do to support us is put your focus onto men, not treating this as a only a women's issue and assuming it's up to women to do all the work.

We don't need cheerleaders for our work. We need men to work within their own communities to raise awareness and make change, and to see it as their problem not just ours.

Have you filled in the consultation? Have you thought how self ID affects men? what are you doing to raise awareness that it's OK to be a feminine man?

We really do need more men's voices. We need people especially MSM to see this is an issue that affects everyone.

Teens - including effeminate boys - being pushed down a path to sterility and a lifetime of being a patient is an absolute scandal.

But the dominant narrative is still that trans is letting kids be their true selves.

We need more male voices challenging this.

I think you just mansplained mansplaining!

But yeah, what Charlie said.

Thank you OP. Allies are vital.
Where can you take this message and be heard? All men absolutely need to be aware of the impact of this, not just on women and girls but also on boys and men. I know that many many teenage boys would also be unhappy sharing facilities with adult women or teenage girls undressing. It's just that nobody asks or listens to either children or women.
So please get the message out there beyond Mumsnet!

What is your advice for men? What do you plan to do - outside of telling women what we should do?

I never meant for my post to come across that way. I'm sorry if it did. I was trying to convey which strategies I see working and drawing attention to this madness, as an outsider and non-woman.

What you can do to support us is put your focus onto men, not treating this as a only a women's issue and assuming it's up to women to do all the work.

I don't treat it as solely a women's issue. It is a societal issue. A total reframing of how we view the sex binary. My focus in this thread on its effect on women is because I understand that women are at immediate risk from Self-ID in ways that men are not. It obviously affects us all, and it is not up to women to fight this by themselves.

Have you filled in the consultation? Have you thought how self ID affects men? what are you doing to raise awareness that it's OK to be a feminine man?

I have not filled in the consultation. I assumed as a non-UK citizen I was not entitled to. I share my views on the subject wherever I can. I am by no means an activist. I'm an outsider wanting to get more involved. I can absolutely do more to raise awareness and plan to. I'm just getting started on my journey. I only recently hit peak trans after blindly accepting the narrative for a while.

My most important task is instilling values in my son about femininity and masculinity and help to him arm himself against those who enforce gender stereotypes.

Thankyou for the feedback. I appreciate it. I'm still trying to work out how to best support the GC cause as a man and ally.

On the mansplaining, it is quite interesting to hear for example that reclaiming terf doesn't work, in his opinion. Of course he could be saying that as a false flag but still, it doesn't sound that way. The whole post sounds genuine.

Thankyou for your perspective.
For a feminine man, there must have been many times where you have felt uncomfortable or distressed because society wants you to behave in a certain way.
Most women understand this, it just baffles me when TRA's accuse us of 'hate' on SM.
There just isn't the evidence of it.
I have never seen it.

But because you are a man your opinions are respected.
Think of it as a gift from us women.

Pleased you are fighting our corner. It gives me hope more will join.

However, you are preaching to the converted on here.

Tell this to the men. Rally them to this cause via whatever channels you can reach them. Use your voice - a voice that probably won't be blocked because it is male. Stick up stickers, spread the word. Write emails, letters, peak trans your friends.

Many women are blocked from Twitter, threatened, doxxed, reported to employers, abused for speaking out. It's not as simple as shouting it from the rooftops.

I've only been doing this for a few weeks - many on here have been doing this for years and years. Their knowledge on this subject is unparallelled.

Stay GC - read the threads , share the knowledge and use it to bring about change.

Lovely. Why are you telling us? If anyone knows this already, its us.....

Unfortunately, this is the vibe I'm getting from your post. So many sentences in the imperative telling GC women what we ought to do and how we ought to do it.

It's great that you agree with us. It would be even better if you could contribute your views to FWR threads without first announcing your manliness and presenting basic gender critical standpoints as if we need to be told about them. We know. Go join in the discussion on the issues!

Dude if you know you're mansplaining why do it? Have you noticed that most posters don't post entire threads just to elucidate their own assessment of the position? We KNOW. You don't need to explain it to us.

Coming out as Gender Critical on Mumsnet - priceless.

Lol.

I really like your post. Please do share it far and wide with other men
I find when I do that most get it if they've not been infected with the woke

AusDad I'm sincere when I say we need more men involved. Welcome.

But we really don't need critiques of what we're doing nearly as much as we need men to step up and start speaking out. We need you to talk to other men about this.

I only recently hit peak trans after blindly accepting the narrative for a while.

What was it that made you hit peak trans?

Oh my word! Why do we insist on every single male OP having to perfectly navigate between showing his support for us and not appearing patronising or mansplainy.

He’s just showing us his support. He shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells to do so. Thanks OP.

Femina
That picture is my all time favourite.
I re-read my post and I thought it did come across as a bit 'in awe of what he said'.
But we do need the wider public support to engage with this.
It is a shame many males are not speaking out as it hasn't affected them - yet.
I would like to see more men and boys campaigning to support GC and biological truths.
If that means we are subjected to more mansplaining, then bring it on.
If it helps the cause....

My eyes were opened earlier this year, and this is entirely due to the amazing women on MN explaining GC issues.