How often do you call someone out on sexist comments/behaviour at work?

[Karting1967]

I’m thinking about all the low level stuff that happens every day. Comments like telling a (male) colleague to “Stop crying like a girl”.

A man apologising to the woman in the meeting for swearing.

A man apologising to the woman in the meeting for swearing

My male head of department told me something this week about a work issue which so exasperated me I said "oh for fuck's sake". I very rarely swear and I apologised to him.

In general I don't think swearing should happen in a workplace. It will , because frustrations occur, but it is correct that there should be an apology.

But why should the apology be just to the woman?

I don't see that much sexism at work TBH. I did have a guy apologise for swearing in front of us "ladies" on Thursday.

I replied "I'm from Stoke, there isn't a swear word I haven't heard or used"

Perhaps I’m unlucky then, there seems to be at least one instance every day.

I tell people off for sexist remarks all the time at work. I'm a teacher, and some teenage boys think it's perfectly fine to be openly sexist but they learn that it's not fine if any of the teachers can hear them (I'm not entirely convinced they continue that lesson into their lives outside of school). Some of the girls say some astoundingly sexist things too, and they are told how they are being sexist and why it's unacceptable in much the same way.

The worst is when I hear staff being sexist. I always say something, but I often get an eye roll because they think I'm over reacting. I seem to have a reputation as a militant feminist, but I'm just trying to stick up for the girls who seem to be being held to a much higher standard of behaviour than the boys (and trying to raise the standard of behaviour the boys are held to at the same time)

All the bloody time.

Female staff complaining about DBS checks needing bills because all of theirs are in their husbands’ names.

One if my team saying that a colleague was a “pussy” for bounce barrelling his name on marriage.

My own boss said I “couldn’t be properly married” because I don’t use Mrs or DH’s name. We’ve been married 14 years. 😂

Women complaining about lazy husbands and all the domestic work being down to them even though they work.

A colleague was surprised I hadn’t left out breakfast and clothes for DD when I went to work and left her at home with DH. She’s nearly 8. And if she can’t reach something he’s more than capable of helping her.

I'm house hunting. I took my eldest son (I'm 40, he's 20) with me. The estate agent (male) preceded to speak just to my son like he was the purchaser despite me already introduced myself after he shook sons hand and not mine. I politely pointed out that my Uni Student son was not purchasing the house with his penis or by any other means and I'd appreciate him directing himself at me

Yep fairly often. But I waited until people knew and respected me so my challenge would hold weight, which it does. Not saying it's a good thing to wait.

Literally every day.

Baby steps. I'm sure I'll make some progress one day.

I worked in a Male dominated industry. It’s was fucking awful in the staff room/area

mummybear I often ask "can you not hear me over the sound of my uterus" which normally embarrasses them into shutting the fuck up.

Seriously men, I'm 100% the SME on this and I can shut your project down right now. Don't make me. Don't fucking make me.

I'm in the army and one of only two people who are SMEs in the area I'm in. And one of one who can speak the necessary language. So... let me say my piece.

Sorry for derailing.

Regularly at work, as I'm the only female and a naturally quiet person I think they sometimes forget I'm there, until I pull them up!

Probably petty, but I refuse to make a brew for co workers unless they reciprocate equally.

I have female friends and ex colleagues who have said I'm spoilt because DH would cook tea most nights, clean and do the food shop. Yet, moan because their own partners do little to contribute to shit work.

I'm so in the habit of calling it out I do it sometimes when it's arguably not a great move in terms of workplace politics, but to me it's so critically important I'd rather take the hit than let it pass unchallenged. Same in my social and home life too.

Thankfully I hardly ever have to. The only one that still comes up somewhat regularly is male partners (I work in a law firm) saying they are going home to babysit. But they know what's coming... I start to take a breath and they immediately say that they know it's not babysitting when it's your own children!

I'm lucky in where I work though... top 50 employer for women and I would say deservedly so.

In my last job, my boss was male and the entire workforce was female. He was extremely flirtatious, which I was ok with, because tbh, I hadn't had any work experience for a great many years (since teenage, really) and didn't really understand what was appropriate.
He would make really quite cheeky comments that were just the right side of plausible deniability and I began to feel a bit uncomfortable. Then one day, out of the blue, he grabbed me by the waist from behind and lifted me up before running off. I was so stunned, I actually messed up the task I was doing.
It was all very jokey, and he was a 'nice guy', so I never pursued saying anything more, apart from asking my DH to pick me up more frequently at the end of my shift because I think I just felt unconsciously more unsettled than I realized.

I've grown a lot in the time since that job, and i am reasonably confident I wouldn't stand for it now, but I do wish I had said something more, because tbh, if I had been a teenager with him behaving like that the power differential would have been even more unpleasant.

Thank for all the replies. I call it out every time with colleagues but just sit and inwardly eye roll when it comes from customers and suppliers!

Just before the World Cup my workplace organised a sweepstake. In the office I work in there are 7 women and 1 man. When another member of staff (male) came round with the teams for the sweepstake, guess who he went to first? Having had to walk past 3 women in order to get to the man. He then asked us women if we wanted a team. I had to point out that perhaps it would have been a good idea to start with the people nearest the door and work his way round the office.

When he had gone I had to say 'well there goes sexism in action, just in case anyone was in any doubt'.

I work in publishing, so it's been very female dominated and I can't honestly say I've seen anything as I've generally worked surrounded by women and the blokes tend not to be very 'alpha'.

I guess I've seen some slightly patronising 'hello ladies' stuff from older men, but nothing worth more than an eye roll.

My husband (in IT) has is his time called people out for being patronising to women and also made an effort to make sure female developers get a chance to speak without being talked over by the guys.

I work with women

The only thing i ever pick up on and argue with are comments like

Women are such bitches

Or

Men are easier to work with because they get over things quickly

Oh, I never have to. There is no sexism, my manager says - just after I was explaining the concept of death by 1000 cuts. He's also got a bee in his bonnet about me not being inclusive, though when I spoke to HR about it, they were mostly puzzled and said, "Going by this, I don't think he understands what we mean by 'inclusive'." And then he went and organised a day out at Goodwood Festival of Speed for him and our two male colleagues - without even mentioning it to me. I pointed out that at the very least, I needed to know I would be the only one working that day. But it wasn't sexist - he just knew I wouldn't be interested.

I have got them to change the wording on signs warning about "men working" on the datacentres and when they're doing construction work. I have spoken to the CEO about how it seems that only women are asked to promote STEM careers and so on, but we need the men to be involved so they don't think it's weird to work with women. I do pick colleagues up on things like letching over women in the office - though at least twice I've had the response, "you don't count, you're one of us!" which is nice they recognise me as part of the team, (though at the expense of recognising me as a woman,) but that's not the point. They shouldn't be saying it at all, whether or not "real" women are within hearing distance or not.

We moved desks earlier this week. I already have a suspicion I am going to be pointing out quite a bit of sexism to new desk neighbour. But of course, he's not sexist, he just tells it like it is, and I'm over-sensitive...

I have a second job and a former colleague (who used to be my boss but then was demoted and started job sharing with me) was proud of his bigoted, racist and sexist views. He openly made offensive comments but when he was my boss I couldn't do anything about it as he was the most senior person there. I would tell him I didn't share his opinions and that they offended me, but he would then do it more to goad me, or dismiss me as a politically correct lefty.

When he was demoted, for reasons unconnected to his archaic views, we were suddenly equals, so I felt more confident challenging him. Eventually he got to me once too often so I went to my new boss, and made a complaint. The office we shared was sound recorded (it is an incident room) so my new boss played back some of the recordings, was appalled at what he was hearing (not just misogyny, but openly racist language and referring to customers and colleagues as 'scum of the earth) and dismissed him for gross misconduct.

I shout "hashtag everyday sexism" in a good humoured way, everyone laughs, acknowledges that it was sexist and then we move on.

I called out some pretty shitty comments made to my boss the other day. She was just going to ignore them as not wanting to rock the boat, par for the course for the male dominated industry we both work in but I couldn't bear it and said something. And the bastards are now giving both of us the silent treatment and making comments about how they're not allowed to say anything around her.

Nobody has ever dared say anything to me, even though I'm more junior. Sometimes I wonder if they can smell who will be a better victim.

My team is mostly women, but I did get one of the guys to stop walking in and saying “Good morning ladies,” by replying “Good morning bloke.” Every single time. Now he just says “good morning”.

New sign has arrived in the office kitchen. Basically “wash up after yourself, your mother doesn’t work here”. I might have added #everydaysexism........