Police release 999 call Stephen Searle made after murdering his wife (

[JustWalkAwayRenee]

He was found guilty - www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-44861508

Is this kind of thing normal in these cases - to release stuff like that? I just feel it's a bit distasteful for it to be on Twitter for people to laugh at.

Also Bill Mountford from UKIP's comments - (from the BBC article) -
*Following the verdict, former politician Bill Mountford told BBC Suffolk he still considered Searle "a friend", adding "these things happen".

Mr Mountford, who was leader of UKIP at Suffolk County Council when Searle was a councillor, said: "I still regard Steve as fundamentally a decent man who has found himself in circumstances beyond his control.

"I'm not condoning it in any way but I was very, very sad to hear of Steve's conviction.

"I'm well aware domestic disputes can get out of hand but I feel equally sorry for both Steve and his now deceased wife."*

Very few men are convicted, relatively.
Which is the problem. You can be as low-key as you like but it's still the "no smoke without fire" argument.
That said, I get where you are coming from and sometimes you know something as fact even when it hasn't been proved in a court of law.

Finding Turph s point interesting. I once interviewed someone I believed to be a controlling arse for a job which would have involved contact with vulnerable people.

As it happened, he didn't interview well and so I didn't have to justify his rejection, but my conscience would never have allowed me to employ him.

And yet I had no proper proof. I'd worked briefly with his wife and was aware of her frequent periods of sudden sickness absence, I was aware too that he waited outside her place of work, entering the minute her shift finished and hanging around the central desk until she had finished her shift handover. I knew too that she never attended work social events. My senses told me he was not a nice guy and, not someone I wanted on my team.

I hope he didn't go home and knock 7 bells out of her for not getting the job though.

Made my blood run cold. What an appalling man. Are women's lives worth so little as to be shrugged off? She would have fought for her life... but 'never mind'

Butteredparsn1ps I've been in that situation and my conscience wasn't pricked one bit by not hiring the person I was unsure about. Hiring, like dating, is inherently discriminatory in the purest sense. You don't pick the most hard-done-by candidate, or the one who needs the money the most, you pick the best person for the job. In so doing you have to be able to justify that decision if someone accuses you of discriminating against a protected characteristic. Even if someone claims your subjective analysis of their performance biased you against their objectively having met all the criteria, they still have no case unless a protected characteristic was involved.

I'm also shocked at his fellow Kipper politician, for minimising an evil crime and equating victim wih murderer.

@Turph I've been thinking about your comments. The stumbling block for me is that in the first instance when a first disclosure is made, it's rarely to the police, or even a professional. Usually it will be to a friend or family member, who will often be begged by the victim not to tell anyone. But after a domestic incident that a perpetrator feels he's 'got away with', he'll
Often ramp up his efforts to maintain the good guy persona, often doing extra favours for the victims friends/ family / associates in an effort to isolate her from a support network. So this time between family/friend disclosure and eventual disclosure to the police, is critical and important. Especially because it is in this window that a woman can be discouraged from reporting abuse, because she'll genuinely think no one would believe her. And if they don't, she knows what he's capable of, so the thought of him being questioned but not charged is frankly horrifying for a woman that has seen his 'side'. So what can be done here?

I’d disagree that people are shunned at accusations of domestic violence. I can’t think of 3 people at work who hit their partners on nights out in front of an audience and walked into work without backlash. Very much not our business mentality. First time I encountered someone I thought to be hitting his gf (my friend) I was cold to the point of rudeness. People couldn’t believe I was so rude.
It’s a weird world but that’s how they get away with it.

Hoover then the issue is ensuring women have the confidence to report, or maybe to just leave. Or awareness for the listener, who gets that first disclosure: "when you hear her talking herself out of her own fear and pain you know there's a problem" or similar, in an advertising campaign.
You suggested social isolation based on an accusation. Women make up crap about other women all the time. Just because domestic abuse is depressingly common, doesn't mean what is being said about a man is true. I don't want to sound like an MRA here but you initially suggested acting on hearsay and I have to disagree with that as it is inherently unfair (and I wouldn't want it to happen to me). The paedophile reference in an earlier post was intentional. Nobody defends an accused paedophile in case he turns out to be guilty. It's the worst crime imaginable for many people and they disassociate themselves from the accused quickly. So the accusation, whether genuine or groundless, is weaponised. If I call up your workplace tomorrow and tell them you are a paedophile how would it affect you? One phone call, from a total stranger.
Nonibaloni you might be right there, people say they are very anti domestic abuse but are not keen to intervene. However people are anti mugging and rarely intervene in that either. Is it acceptance of domestic abuse or general apathy/reticence?

"The issue is ensuring women have the confidence to report, or maybe to just leave " is rather a big issue though isn't it. Mammoth in fact.
I agree that awareness advice for the first listeners would be good, but the disclosure is so often quite abstract. Played down, abbreviated versions. A sad fact is that many people still won't believe there's any domestic violence occurring without seeing a big black eye or a bit of blood. Sometimes it takes other women to recognise what's going on, because for the victim, it's normal.

I don't think that men who are accused (or even convicted) of DV are shunned at all

Stan Collymore, Mike Tyson, Paul Gascoigne, Chris Brown, Johnny Depp, Sean Penn, Boy George... Just off the top of my head

Kellie Maloney

My ex used to hit me in front of people on a night out, his friends included. There was very much a 'turn the other cheek' mentality... I must have wound him up. Not one ever helped me, not one ever talked to me about it.

Yes, that's my experience too.
I've never known an accused (of DV) be shunned by anyone . I don't know why .... Certainly it's nothing like being viewed as a paedophile.
I'm just listening again ...
"Never mind" he says of killing his wife , yet the Mp still finds him to be fundamentally decent.
Wow Wow . What the fuck.