Police release 999 call Stephen Searle made after murdering his wife (

[JustWalkAwayRenee]

He was found guilty - www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-44861508

Is this kind of thing normal in these cases - to release stuff like that? I just feel it's a bit distasteful for it to be on Twitter for people to laugh at.

Also Bill Mountford from UKIP's comments - (from the BBC article) -
*Following the verdict, former politician Bill Mountford told BBC Suffolk he still considered Searle "a friend", adding "these things happen".

Mr Mountford, who was leader of UKIP at Suffolk County Council when Searle was a councillor, said: "I still regard Steve as fundamentally a decent man who has found himself in circumstances beyond his control.

"I'm not condoning it in any way but I was very, very sad to hear of Steve's conviction.

"I'm well aware domestic disputes can get out of hand but I feel equally sorry for both Steve and his now deceased wife."*

I'm not really sure what the motive would be for releasing it. But it is not a normal reaction compared with the many 911 transcripts there are out there where you can usually hear the shock, disbelief and fear in people's voices. To say this 999 call is chilling is an understatement. Maybe that's why.

So sad, that poor woman can't have stood a chance; he was bigger than her, stronger than her, and had been trained in combat. How the hell did he even think he could justify what he did as self defence? We'd is going on in the heads of those men expressing sympathy for him?

There was something about th e photo of her used in the BBC article that makes me feel quite sad too (I may be reading too much into it I know): a hastily taken selfie in a mirror, probably taken off Facebook by the media. I know some middle aged women who do not have any nice, happy recent photos of themselves. It's normally because at the kind of gatherings where people take photos, they're too busy running around after everyone else, and it wouldn't even occur to their partners to bother taking a photo of them. It's a sort of invisibility.

We'd = wtf

999 op - "is it just the two of you in the house"
SS - "well, just the one of us now"

wtaf?!

Honestly, I don’t know what to say

"These things happen" ?!?

That actually did make me laugh. Not that I find it amusing, mind. But I laughed. In disbelief I guess.

The thing is - these things do happen in our culture. They happen every week or two, don't they? It's actually not that unusual. And that's part of the problem: that it's normal. These things DO happen.

I am sitting here stunned at that tape. He sounds as though he’s pranged a neighbour’s car, rather than strangled his wife to death.
SquishySquirmy your post made me cry. So true.

Squishy you are right. Your post is spot on.

squishy it breaks my heart, so often these victims of make violence have a grainy photograph from a decade ago. Where are the happy pics their friends and family took on their phones?

I know... they weren't allowed to be in this situations. Fucking bastards. Fucking bastards like Searle.

I can hardly believe this:

Mr Mountford, who was leader of UKIP at Suffolk County Council when Searle was a councillor, said: "I still regard Steve as fundamentally a decent man who has found himself in circumstances beyond his control.
"I'm not condoning it in any way but I was very, very sad to hear of Steve's conviction.
"I'm well aware domestic disputes can get out of hand but I feel equally sorry for both Steve and his now deceased wife."

He's EQUALLY sorry for a murderer and a murdered woman?

The situation was beyond his control? He had an affair with his son's partner, ffs. When discovered, he killed his wife. What exactly was beyond his control?

What exactly was beyond his control?

Um, that his wife found out?

That's really all I've got.

That Mr Mountford is part of the issue here. Male violence against women and children is normalised in our society. He sees it as a domestic dispute that "got out of hand" - he said as much. Yeah it's all fun and games until someone actually DIES.

What exactly was beyond his control?

All that fuss. He couldn't control all those people making such a fuss about one silly murder.

And he’ll be out in a few years.

He's been sentenced to a minimum of 14 years. He won't necessarily get out at that stage if he can't convince a parole board that there is no chance of his being any danger whatsoever. So he'll be at least 78 and may not live to be released. Plus he'll have the life sentence for the rest of his life, which means he could go back to prison without trial for the slightest misdemeanour.

The transcript it utterly horrendous, but I think far closer to typical behaviour than anyone who isn't a domestic violence victim would realise. Please remember these monsters are masters of deception, able to switch between two personas in a second. Like the man who comes to the door smiling just moments after the neighbours have heard him kicking the shit out of his wife. Or the man who tidies the smashed up house before the police arrive. Or the man that does all the odd jobs for local grannies free of charge but abuses his wife and children when he gets back.
These men will be befriending police officers in custody, speaking about their wife all respectfully in public, doing massive gestures of generosity wherever visible.
I think when asked, a lot of victims would say that their abuser changed persona when arrested. And what they do after an accusation against them and then a subsequent release, is far more chilling. Every aspect of their kind, giving nature has to be exaggerated to deflect any assumptions. They'll be hosting the church coffee morning, defrosting your windscreen, carrying in your shopping, ramping it right up. It's endless.
If you are a woman and you encounter a man with any accusation of domestic abuse against anyone, he must be frozen from society . Do not minimise, do not blame the woman, don't say he always seemed a lovely guy, don't use his work services, don't speak about him or to him. Ignorant men can say what they like, but as women we know better and we owe it to each other to stand against domestic violence in all its disguises.

As for Mr Mountford, what a disgraceful man.
Utterly shocking.
I'll be writing to him to tell him what I think of his statement and I urge all women to do the same.
These things happen in a society where people willingly stand shoulder to shoulder with perpetrators of domestic violence .
When a person in a position of power does this, it sets a precedent for others to follow . How many more women killed at the hands of partners will we have to count this year, like every year before.
Mr Mountford, blood on your hands if you normalise this behaviour.

Utterly chilling. The jovial tone, the 'jokes', that's the way I talk if I'm phoning in a breakdown to the AA! Got to wonder what on earth was going through his head.

How the fuck do you "accidentally" choke someone to death?

I'd like to know what he does consider to be a violent man. The amount of denial is incredible. My father had a tendency towards violence. The weird thing about it all was that he somehow seemed to be not aware of the reality of the rest of us at all. It's some sort of dissociation or something.

@WrongOnTheInternet
The disassociation is so typical.
When you sit down with these men and watch a documentary about about say, violent abusers, they will tut and express shock like the rest of us. They're often the man that steps in if he was to see a man abusing a woman. It all adds to the illusion that they'd never be a perpetrator themselves. That's why it's such a headfuck for a victim.
Often, they'll be experiencing the worst of abuse while every neighbour, family member and stranger is bigging up their partner like the holiest kindest soul that ever roamed the earth. It's really easy to understand why women frequently retract statements, or fail to press charges against abusers.

Looking at the news reports about this (wasn't aware of the story)
Have to say I am so glad the transcript was released, for reasons mentioned above. But I'm pretty surprised that there hasn't been a massive backlash against this 'mp' .

If you are a woman and you encounter a man with any accusation of domestic abuse against anyone, he must be frozen from society . Do not minimise, do not blame the woman, don't say he always seemed a lovely guy, don't use his work services, don't speak about him or to him.
That's a terrible idea.

Squishy that's 100% accurate re. photos and it's so sad.

@Turph, why?

Well actually. Speak to him. Yes... I wrote that in haste, mistakenly. Pretend you don't know.
But don't do anything that supports him.

Hoover because you are asking for social ostracism and possible financial ruin for people who have not been proved to have done anything. Imagine if an accusation of theft was made against you and everyone shunned you, refused to support your business, etc. People are more disgusted by domestic abuse than theft, so the reaction would be worse. Imagine if you were accused of being a paedophile. People would naturally shun you without being encouraged to. All the power sits with the accuser.
People make stuff up, which is why we have the justice system. I know conviction rates are low but it's better than being tried by public opinion.
If you had suggested we shun and boycott those convicted of domestic abuse I'd agree, because it sends a powerful message.

Oh I see @Turph
I totally get your point.
But I kind of feel that it takes so much for a victim of dv to speak out, in particular a mother (all mothers worry about their kids being taken by ss etc, regardless of how ungrounded) , and that the justice system is so poor in these cases, that it's time women took matters into their own hands slightly.
But I feel bad about my post, because the advice is wrong.
It's bad to ostracize a man in an obvious way, because if he realises this , the woman will be at more risk. So best to operate like a stealth ninja that knows nothing, yet ensuring his bank account and social standing are negatively impacted.
Very few men are convicted, relatively.

That statement from the politician who knows him is awful.