What would you tell your 16 year old self?

[LadyJaneGreyspen]

Mine would be you won t believe the future. . and err dont let your mate bleach your hair.

Life gets happier, it feels horrendous right now. Stop eating your feelings. Stop trying to please - you can say no. You aren't missing out on anything by not going out. You'll be successful and find youself but it will take time. Your late 30's are the hardest, that said you'll find out who you are and finally build your confidence and find your purpose.

Stay on at school, leaving will be a huge mistake which you will always regret.
Don't get back with him.
Learn to drive.

You aren't fat.
Don't take him back for the 3rd time, he WILL cheat on you again.
Don't waste money on pointless crap you don't need.
Spend time with your family, especially Dad because you'll lose him when you're 21.

You aren't fat but you soon will be if you continue to eat like that and give up all your exercising.

You don't have to be one of the lads to fit in.

You are an addict. Don't try booze, cigarettes or drugs and stop eating sugar.

The reason your periods are still irregular is because you have PCOS. Another reason to stay off sugar. Also why you are hairy. It's not your fault and you're not ugly.

Get help for your mental health issues. It’s not normal to not value yourself and life will be a lot easier if you deal with it now rather than wait 20 years.

Stop being “nice”. It’s ok to dislike people, even without having a concrete reason. You’re allowed not to be friends with them. Even more so when they’ve behaved badly - don’t let them back in to do it a second time, in spite of what your mother tells you.

If a man calls you fat dump him immediately. You’re not, but even if you were he’s showing you he wants to control you by putting you down.

Do the A levels/degree you want to do, not the ones that you think will please your parents. It will probably end better.

Let yourself say no. It’s not liberating to sleep with everyone who asks, it’s the opposite. And when you don’t value yourself it’s actually very damaging.

Friendships evolve. Don’t hang onto them for nostalgia reasons. It’s ok to drift apart.

Learn to love and value yourself.

Your parents are great. Appreciate them.

You have more than enough writing talent but you also have a lot to learn, there is this thing called the 'growth mindset...'

That bloke who broke your heart? He is actually in love with you but you played it so cool he thinks you don't like him. He has undiagnosed autism and is very confused.

Run a mile from that sweet older guy and on no account let him give you alcohol.

Audition for drama school. Or at least tell someone the reason you don’t want to is that the audition mark is 70 based on looks and you feel to fat and ugly to cope with getting a low score.

There’s a good reason why you aren’t interested in boys.
It’s not because you’re crap at playing guitar or drums, it’s that they are a bunch of sexist arseholes and they’re threatened by a female who is as good or better than they are.
Stop worrying about what everybody else thinks. Their opinion doesn’t matter and they will never help you anyway.
Beware of drugs and alcohol. You’re one of those people who gets addicted.
Feeling accepted by someone won’t fix your life. Work on excepting yourself first.
Never go into a relationship because you want to save someone from their own mess. You won’t, and you‘ll get dragged down into it too.
Being different is not bad, it’s just different. Doing things differently is better than not doing them at all.
If someone doesn’t respect you for who you are, show them the door. They have nothing to offer you and you don’t need people like that in your life.

Stop dumbing yourself down.

Do Maths not English. You don’t even like all those stuffy old war poems. But you love a good equation.

Oh and in three years time you’ll be in a Bella Swan type situation. Don’t pick the bad boy just cos he’s handsome. Go for the funny one you can have a laugh with.

You aren't responsible for anyone else's happiness

And buy property in Hackney

Yay, I did this one, I feel a sense of achievement!

Bouncing off others' comments to draw up my own:

1. When you're 22 you'll meet a man to whom you're massively, overwhelmingly attracted. RUN AWAY FAST. Do NOT waste the next 3 years letting him use and 'abuse' you. Find someone nice.

1. If you ignore point 1, many years later do NOT let him reconnect with you via Facebook, because it will do your head in for at least a year.

1. Don't wait until you're in your 30s to get fit. Start now.

There is so much here. Thank you all. I do feel that there are themes that are uniquely relevant to being a daughter rather than a son. I hope I can instill so of the wisdom and warn of the pitfalls to my daughter

Why do we rob our daughters of their confidence? Is it us or society?