What would you tell your 16 year old self?

[LadyJaneGreyspen]

Mine would be you won t believe the future. . and err dont let your mate bleach your hair.

I love you, Jean.

Go to the dentist every 6 months even though my parents didn't bother when I was a child.
Keep running, don't join the university running club- find a nice local club.

Believe in yourself more.
Leave the henna alone and get some style advice!
Have some sex and try out some boyfriends so you have more of an idea what you need in a long-term partner later.

Be braver and believe in yourself more.

If you set your mind to it, you will soar

Oh, and walk to your first proper job after uni. Your fat ass will thank you for it in a few years.

Yes, your parents are cunts, it’s not you it’s them. There is something called social services, call them, tell them what hasn’t been happening and ask for help.

If you feel uncomfortable about a situation or a person, walk away. It's not your job to fix it or them, nor to consider that it might be you with the problem.

Angst is not a mark of intelligence. You do not need to be riddled with neuroses in order to "qualify" as an intelligent young woman. Just because Virginia Woolf struggled with her mental health does not mean that female intelligence and brilliance demands a level of mental dysfunction.

No one will tell you that the only worthy goal in life is to create a place where you are content, happy, and comfortable. People will try to impress upon you that the only worthy life is one where you struggle, at personal cost, to change society in some way, where you use the "privilege" of your talents and abilities to make others' lives better. This is a fool's errand. You cannot "cure" other people unless you are a medical doctor, nor should you control them. The only true way to help and influence others is by example and by being kind and friendly. Kindness is very powerful, but it's impossible to be truly kind if you are unhappy yourself.

Don't dance to other people's tunes. Believe in your own tune and follow it.

Value yourself. You don't need to sleep with men to get their approval, and you don't need to 'rescue' that selfish alcoholic at the expense of your own achievements and confidence.

When you get to university, focus on making good women friends, and when you leave, maintain those friendships.

It's never too late to get fit, but it would be a good idea if you start now.

Don't smoke. Just don't.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

You have borderline personality disorder caused by childhood abuse, find support from someone who understands this otherwise you will be repeatedly refused help or given unhelpful help (!) and you won't understand this is what happened to you for another nearly 30 years.

Stop sleeping with everyone who shows an interest in you. You'll end up with low self esteem and a terrible reputation, gonorrhoea, chlamydia, genital warts, herpes, PID, unwanted pregnancies, an ectopic pregnancy that will rupture, you'll be told you can't conceive naturally, spend 10 years being devastated by this and then, when you do conceive, you'll develop serious mental health problems and post natal illness, believing you don't deserve the beautiful child you've been blessed with. You'll then develop CIN 3 and, much later, when you think it's all behind you, you'll need a partial vulvectomy for VIN.

Don't light that cigarette you daft girl, visit the dentist regularly. One day you'll realise you're fucking awesome, you'd know it sooner if you hadn't given him your number

Make sure you learn to drive.
Learn about mortgages and pensions.
Don't take that job at 18 - get better job advice and ignore your parents 'advice'.
Have more hobbies.
Join the online world earlier than the age of 40.
Have children before the age of 33.
Don't move away from your home town.
Live somewhere that allows pets.
Oh dear. Writing it down like that makes me feel very sad.

You're going to marry him and have two wonderful children and you'll be happiest you've ever been. You'll also feel helpless and daunted by having two children with SEN, but it's okay because you'll have your best friend by your side and he's going to be an absolutely wonderful Father.

Don't let your miscarriage send you down the dark road, keep up to date with your bills, don't shut off, your little boy and husband need you.

Don't move into your current house, it's a nightmare and the landlord will get murdered because he was dodgy as fuck. 😳

Don’t let that be the first person you sleep with. He’s a horrible, nasty excuse for a human being who will destroy your self-esteem in order to make him feel better about his appalling behaviour.
Wait for the next one instead. He’s decent.

It is not mean to say no.
Your value does not depend on your attractiveness to men.

FormerlyPickingOakum S
If you feel uncomfortable about a situation or a person, walk away. It's not your job to fix it or them, nor to consider that it might be you with the problem.
I dont think i got that until 20

See those popular girls? You will meet them again in 20 years at the school gates.

It's not you it's your mother.
It's ok to not have or want many friends, the best one you have will still be around for you 30 yrs later ❤
Some grief counselling might mean you actually revise rather than sob.
Hang in there it's going to get so much better!

Oh & you are beautiful. Dont believe the people that tell you you are not.

In a year, you'll meet a lad who you'll think is the love of your life. You'll drag things out for ten on-and-off years. Don't bother!
Don't jack in your A-levels. Go to university at 18. Work hard and make the most of all your potential...and GET A CAREER!

Don't listen to people who try to put you down
You are neither a whore nor frigid
Men will want to control everything you do down to who you are allowed to speak to and what you can wear. Never let them.
Men will want to play power games. Rise above that and they won't be able to.

Also - when the first man tells you he's a woman ..... go and find the Radfems immediately. Do not pass Go. Do not stop in at "What Harm Can It Do Inn". Go directly to "When's the march? Let's nip this cray cray in the bud."

that too! Protest the 2004 Gender Recognition Act.

The rapist brother of your friend is only pretending to be a "nice guy".
DO NOT GO OUT WITH HIM! He will rape you.

Stay in school, pleasepleaseplease.

Hang in there, it gets better.

And buy property in Hackney.