So, in light of the dreadful Woman Fest talked about on here recently I've been thinking what our fantasy version of a woman fest might involve. I have a few ideas to start off with:
There will be absolutely no cooking or food preparation done by participants. Free take away will be available for all.
No-one is allowed to ask any women 'where's my...?'
Toilet seats (not lids) will be permanently in the downward position. Anyone breaching this will be given automatic toilet cleaning duties.
Body hair will be celebrated not shamed. Extra take away will be awarded to women whose winter pelt is sturdy enough to plait and bead.
Head hair swishing will be met with loud tutting.
A silent disco will be held for those wishing to sway and chant to the sounds of BBC radio podcasts or Erasure dance tracks.
Knitting and sighing at the same time will be dealt with by severe eye rolling by observers.
A man friday stall will be handing out free swim caps, beards and mankinis.
Tea, coffee, gin and chocolate fountains will be placed generously around the site.
Team Sportacus workshops will be available to provide technical and tactical advice for all those wishing participate in spofs events.
I may be back later with some more but please feel free to add to this list.