Asexual Pride

[madcatladyforever]

I'm an asexual myself and there have been a lot of asexuals parading at Pride.
I'd be interested to know what everyone else thinks but I don't personally think asexuals have any place in Pride unless they are actually gay asexuals.
I'm a straight asexual and I would not feel comfortable joining in the parade although as always I'll be there cheering everyone on.
Any thoughts?

nonsense, Pride is for celebrating anyone who doesn't fit into the heterosexual "norm".

I kissed a girl and I liked it. Do I fit into the Pride cohort?

Why would anyone feel the need to celebrate asexuality and what discrimination do asexual people face as opposed to the discrimination and abuse people face for being sexually attracted to the opposite sex? It just seems to most people like rather meaningless bandwagon "I need to have a woke label" jumping.
People may want to celebrate asexuality for any reason; possibly the same reasons why gay people like to celebrate their homosexuality? And nobody is saying that they face the same discrimination as gay people but asexual people are a quite small part of the population, and probably enjoy getting together and knowing that they're not the only ones out there. Asexual people have been around for a long time and calling it meaningless bandwagon jumping is really rude imo.

I kissed a girl and I liked it. Do I fit into the Pride cohort?
Well if you are attracted to somebody of the same sex then you're probably not heterosexual, are you

That's not the definition of some people on this thread :)

Well yes, that’s the actual reality of it now... that it is for everyone...

I think it is nice people are welcoming.

I’m just stating a personal view that I lament that it is no longer attached to the homosexual civil rights movement and is now all about celebrating diversity and corporations sponsoring floats.

Looks like the lesbians are bringing back the grassroots elements of these marches.
The OP asked if asexuals should be included and was of the view that they should not, unless they were gay or lesbian asexuals. For me - I concur with this view. Others don’t. It’s great we can have these conversations. Pride has evolved. All these celebrations have evolved. They do seem to be some corporate exercise of diversity and inclusion. Which is nice - but why Pride? Why are other cultural groups not subjected to the same demands regarding their inclusiveness at their cultural celebrations?

A friend (lesbian) tried to persuade me to march because "you're demisexual aren't you?". I didn't, because in a group of "actual" lesbians, gay men and bisexuals I'd have felt really ridiculous.

I do fit the definition, but when I have been attracted to somebody they've always been male all two of them — as far as I'm concerned I'm just a fussy/shy/cautious straight person. The only harassment I'll ever get is from my grandma, asking whether I've found a nice young man yet!

@BettyDuMonde

It’s not identity that needs protection against discrimination in law though, is it? After all, identity is invisible, it’s only behaviour that is in the domain of others (law makers/other society members).

This hits the nail on the head. Bookmarking for later, as this is a really important point.

I didn't get much sleep last night, too hot, so I ended up on YouTube, and watched a number of videos on the Asexual spectrum to try and get a handle on some of the thinking and terms being used.

I confess I am still not really getting it. Graysexual, demi sexual, aromatic, asexual...

I saw young people earnestly explaining that there are words for every single nuance of sexual behaviour and attraction or lack thereof. I understand from this thread that some believe the purpose of all this, and the reason for including the 'A' in the community is because these various 'sexualities' are not heteronormative.

This is where I come unstuck. Apparently it is a separate sexuality if you are only sexually attracted to one or two people in a long period. Or if you are only sexually attracted to someone with whom you have an emotional bond. Or if you are attracted sexually to people without any emotional contact at all. Or if you like to receive sexual pleasure but don't like to give it.

A number of things about this do not make any sense at all. Ok, I'm familiar with the idea of someone who likes to receive sexual pleasure but doesn't like to give it. When I was a young 'un and more active on the scene, women like this were called 'pillow princesses'. I don't know if that is still the case. But it wasn't a separate 'sexuality', it was a criticism of a lazy so and so.

As for all the others, I can't understand why these things are not considered heteronormative. Do these young people really think that all straight people have no idea what any of these things mean? I went to school with reams of straight young men who were quite open about the fact that they felt no need to be emotionally bonded to someone before they shagged them.
I've honestly lost count of the amount of straight people I've met who don't feel any sexual attraction, and would be perfectly content with a cup of tea, a good book, and the occasional hug. It's a perfectly heteronormative situation.

So I'm wondering if someone could explain to me what this is about, beyond the modern fad to need to feel different from any 'norm'?

Floral What you describe sounds like young people thinking they invented sex and relationships and that old yins know nothing about it - it was ever thus!

I didn't think there would be so much interest in this thread, I agree Feline I don't think I have any place in Pride but as always I will support it and my friends taking part.
I'm 60 and have been asexual my whole life. I have been married twice and had numerous relationships all of which were an abject failure obviously as I was not sexually attracted to a single one of them but you try and fit in.
I'm now single and will be for the rest of my life, I hate being asexual I feel I have never experienced that love and passion that seems to bring everyone else alive. It's like seeing the world in black and white instead of colour and wondering what I am here for. yet being alone feels so much better than suffering a relationship.
I think I'm quite attractive for 60 so I do attract male interest and when I turn them down they are nearly always nasty about it.
I feel like an alien.

This thread is confusing me. I don’t really care how people identify sexuality-wise (as long as it is legal obviously), and I obviously don’t think anyone should be discriminated against (ditto). But it sticks in my throat that my small child is nagging me for white Skittles (all the colours have gone in the rainbow, corporate sponsorship anyone?) and it is totally divorced from civil rights, because women cannot protest their and go off message. What kind of civil rights movement does not support protest?

So I also don’t care what sexual I am either. Maybe it has a name, maybe not.

Pride was a protest for homosexuals.

Pride is now meaningless. Enjoy your complicated and fascinating 'identities'.

Enjoy your complicated and fascinating 'identities'

an asexual identity is neither complicated nor fascinating, it is about as straight forward and simple as it is possible to get.

This sort of ignorance and dismissiveness is exactly why we need asexuals at pride.

I'm 60 and have been asexual my whole life. I have been married twice and had numerous relationships all of which were an abject failure obviously as I was not sexually attracted to a single one of them but you try and fit in.
I'm now single and will be for the rest of my life, I hate being asexual I feel I have never experienced that love and passion that seems to bring everyone else alive. It's like seeing the world in black and white instead of colour and wondering what I am here for. yet being alone feels so much better than suffering a relationship.
I think I'm quite attractive for 60 so I do attract male interest and when I turn them down they are nearly always nasty about it
I feel like an alien.

You are not an alien, 1% of the population are asexual. Its a wonderful free uncomplicated life. Asexuals are the masters of their own destiny like nobody else is.

I'm sorry you are sad, and I'm sorry you have wasted so much of your time and energy on relationships and feel like they have been failures.

For many asexuals, the moment they stop trying to conform to the expectation that they find a partner, that is the moment they truly start living.

I don't consider myself to be missing out on the sexual side of life, I see myself as being freed from the web of it.

Nobody has any right to be nasty to you, but again, this is why we need asexuals at pride, not enough people understand who we are. Furthering education, through pride and other areas, will hopefully raise awareness and acceptance.

Come to Pride next year, and meet ore people in the same boat.

I hope you can find some peace and enjoy being who you are xx

If you are lesbian or gay or bi, you should feel absolutely free to attend Pride.

If you are none of those, then either attend as an ally (although in the current climate I'd rather you didn't) or accept that pride isn't for you.

The amount of sex you have or don't have, or want or don't want, is irrelevant.

It's lke asking if beekeepers are welcome at Pride - well, yes, if they are gay, bi or lesbian beekeepers.

Considering that asexuality is the absence of a sexual orientation it makes no sense to me to participate in Pride.

Considering that asexuality is the absence of a sexual orientation it makes no sense to me to participate in Pride.

asexuality IS a sexual orientation.

I think clearly this stuff depends on what you think Pride is for.

If you think Pride is a political protest march for the movement for the liberation of homosexuals (some believe it should just be the G and not the L as different movements too) then you are going to feel irritated that it has become about including everyone.

If you think it’s about celebrating everyone who doesn’t clearly fit into the straight-white-‘cis’-male identity box then you are going to feel people are being mean when they say pride should be about the G or the G and the L.

It’s clear that the ‘diversity and inclusion’ stuff has won...

I feel that is a bad thing TBH.

Thanks for that Clairetree, I think the younger folk are more accepting of it but it's harder for my age group as our parents expected us to get married and have children and thought we were weird if we didn't. My mother would never understand asexuality or being gay for that matter.
If I had my time again I'd have had three children on my own with sperm donors and would have been so much happier.
I have one and we are very close.

Atheism is not a belief but rather the absence of belief, and asexuality is not a sexuality but rather the absence of sexuality.
The absence of a thing cannot be the thing itself.
The a in front of these words indicates the absence of the thing. That is how words work.
If you want a name for asexual that means having a different sexuality instead of none you need to pick a new word. That one is already occupied.

Atheism is not a belief but rather the absence of belief, and asexuality is not a sexuality but rather the absence of sexuality.

atheism is the belief that God does not exist, so what?

what is your problem?

You are demonstrating very nicely the type of pig ignorance that makes asexual pride very necessary!

What exactly makes asexual Pride necessary? And don't you think you might be appropriating a movement for people who are genuinely discriminated against/face obvious prejudice?

What discrimination do you face as an asexual in your work life or from organisations?

I want to thank whoever started this thread. It's been a real eye opener and made me question my original opinion.

I do not like all the words being added to LGBT. IMO Gay rights should be for people who experience same sex attraction. I worry that 'queer' allows people with kinks to erroneously 'jump the bandwagon' and conflate homosexuality with - kinky.

However, hearing the stories of those who found an asexual community through Pride marches makes me think - brilliant. I don't want to take this away.

Would it not be possible for the 'queer' commuinty to 'piggyback of the LGB community and make a separate civil rights movement? I don't know what aromatics have to do with same sex attraction? Surely all the new flags allow all people to belong in the LGBTQ rainbow. If everybody is included then nobody is included...