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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Asexual Pride

102 replies

madcatladyforever · 07/07/2018 15:11

I'm an asexual myself and there have been a lot of asexuals parading at Pride.
I'd be interested to know what everyone else thinks but I don't personally think asexuals have any place in Pride unless they are actually gay asexuals.
I'm a straight asexual and I would not feel comfortable joining in the parade although as always I'll be there cheering everyone on.
Any thoughts?

OP posts:
zen1 · 08/07/2018 16:53

So, if romantic feelings are different to sexual feelings, are you saying it would be theoretically possible to be romantically attracted to women, and sexually attracted to men??

loopsdefruit · 08/07/2018 17:05

zen yep absolutely, or any other combination of romantic/sexual attraction. Some people with those feelings end up in a polyamorous relationship, some end up in open relationships, and I'd imagine some end up cheating (which is pretty shitty)

Betty Yeh, that's fine, and asexual people are probably pretty well covered in law because of that. But this thread isn't about law, it's about visibility at Pride. Or actually, specifically, whether Asexual organisations should be in the parade. That isn't to do with law, it's to do with the people who organise the Pride parade.

My point about behaviour not equalling identity, is not about how we should legislate LGBT groups for the purpose of discrimination protections, but rather to point out that you can your sexual orientation is not dependant on your current or past behaviour. If you say you are bisexual, then you are, even if you're a woman who has only dated men, because it just means you are sexually attracted to women and men, you can be sexually attracted to people without ever having dated them.

BettyDuMonde · 08/07/2018 17:12

I agree that pride organisers get to choose who to invite, I just think it undermines the original purpose of Pride, which was an act of defiance by those whose behaviour was outlawed.

Losing touch with your purpose renders important actions meaningless.

MadgeMidgerson · 08/07/2018 17:47

Pride is for selling shit

If you’re marching, you’re also one of the commodities

Hth

Ereshkigal · 08/07/2018 18:10

So, if romantic feelings are different to sexual feelings, are you saying it would be theoretically possible to be romantically attracted to women, and sexually attracted to men??

And would such a person be hetero, homo or bisexual?

Ereshkigal · 08/07/2018 18:11

It's pretty liberating when you can go to Pride and just be like "I am having such a nice time with my friends, look at all these happy people having a nice time with their friends, oh look a free whistle"

LOL. Is that what Pride is about? Good thing it got shaken up a bit yesterday then!

Ereshkigal · 08/07/2018 18:13

Aren't you happy that Pride doesn't need to be a protest any more?

Except that it seems it does?

loopsdefruit · 08/07/2018 18:18

Eresh Did it? From what I've heard people both watching and participating made it very clear the protesters were unwelcome, and people couldn't have been louder in their condemnation of the protest.

Pride is a celebration, it's a parade, it's fun and happy, and about bigging up organisations that support the entire rainbow of LGBT+ identities. It's not a place to spew hate or an opportunity for narrow-minded people to exclude others they don't feel fit 'their' criteria.

If you can go to Pride and live and let live, great, enjoy it, have a great day and celebrate your community. If you aren't able to be tolerant then don't go, or if you do decide to go be prepared to face the backlash from a group of people who just want one day to be happy and carefree.

All the protest did yesterday is make sure that next year Pride has plans in place to prevent such horrible behaviour. They actually did trans people a favour cause they made sure that future events are much safer.

Ereshkigal · 08/07/2018 18:20

They actually did trans people a favour cause they made sure that future events are much safer.

Where was the threat to trans people? Like bottles being thrown? Oh... of course you mean non validation of personal beliefs, don't you?

loopsdefruit · 08/07/2018 18:33

I dunno, it's pretty unsafe that any group can just join the start of a parade, but yeh I do think that the almost constant verbal, social, and political attacks on trans people pose a threat. Pride is for trans people, it is also for lesbians, and gay people, and bisexuals and asexuals and pansexuals. It is not for people of any orientation or gender identity who refuse to coexist with others. It's a fun day to celebrate diversity, not a day for intolerant people to protest for exclusion.

Why don't you hold your own "Pride is just for lesbians and gays and bisexuals I class as genuine" march? I'm sure there'd be tons of support from charities and corporations and other people in the LGBT community.

MadgeMidgerson · 08/07/2018 18:35

What could possibly be more violent and terrifying than suggesting that lesbianism doesn’t involve penises

maybe being called a cunt by a 6 foot plus trans woman? 🤷‍♀️

TerfAndSerf · 08/07/2018 18:35

Lesbians march with signs and banners.

San Francisco trans march with baseball bats....

Who the hell needs protecting from a bunch of (genuine) women?

Asexual Pride
loopsdefruit · 08/07/2018 18:48

I didn't say they were 'violent' I said that the constant attacks on the rights of trans people in media and trying not just to prevent legislation that will help the trans community but also actively discussing whether it's possible to reduce their existing rights poses a threat to them. Were the trans people marching with baseball bats actually violent? I haven't heard about that march, what were they marching for?

MadgeMidgerson · 08/07/2018 18:57

Who knows what ‘die cis scum’ means, or ‘punch a terf’ - it’s hard to work out if any violence is being threatened, maybe it’s all like a metaphor for I dunno, stuff? Or something?

Now, ‘lesbianism does not involve penises’ is pretty unequivocally a call for trans obliteration, could it be more violent?????

MadgeMidgerson · 08/07/2018 18:58

And we don’t know that they didn’t join that march just after the 9th inning, why would you think that baseball bats wielded by people calling for the death of terfs is threatening?

These ladies are athletes nothing more aurely

Elisheva · 08/07/2018 19:09

If Pride is now just a happy celebration now can hetero people join in too?

Offred · 08/07/2018 19:12

Threads like this happen when civil rights movements are appropriated by capitalism IMO.

Personally I see pride as being for the L and the G only.

As a member of the B I feel we are a degree too far outside the L and the G to go neatly into the political movement.

The T has nothing to do with anything and the rest of the word salad is just ridiculous...

Pride should not be for everyone.

Offred · 08/07/2018 19:13

I’ve been to prides but to support from the sidelines and with my custom. I would not march.

Clairetree1 · 08/07/2018 19:19

I grew up totally bewildered, not understanding anything about the behaviour and priorities of my friends, desperately trying to fit in, feeling like I was the only person in the world who had no sexual feelings, didn't want relationships.

then I walked through London one day shortly after pride and found a leaflet from AVEN and realised who I was, and that there were many more like me - this is the point at which I stopped mucking up my own life, and other people's trying to be a sexual person.

A couple of years ago at Pride a young man jumped the barriers at pride and ran over to us, he was so pleased to meet us he was laughing and crying, he was nearly 40, and had always beleived he was the only one in the world.

Every year at Pride people meet other asexuals for the first time, and celebrate being with others who share so many aspects of their own life.

We are a tiny invisible minority, and this is the day when we show people we exist!

This year people travelled from Italy in the hope of meeting other asexuals for the first time.

Every year, people ask us who we are, and we explain, and more and more people learn not to set up dates/ pressurise/ try and persuade their friends and relatives to conform to societies expectations.

Every year someone realises through pride who they are, and learn for the first time that they are not alone, and they can accept themselves as they are, and go on to lead a happy life, totally outside of the relationships that the whole of society expect, and try and push you into.

Most asexuals don't want relationships, some do, and that's fine too, maybe if you came to meet us at Pride, some of the posters on here might have a better understanding now.

These are some of the reasons asexuals should be at Pride.

There is no requirement to come if you don't want to!

Pride is an amazing celebration of diversity, not just gays ad lesbians, but bi, pan, transexuals, transvestites, asexuals, allies, and many many more

MadgeMidgerson · 08/07/2018 19:19

As long as hetero people bring plenty of hetero money to buy merch/beer/snacks/memorabilia etc etc they are deffo welcome

Same love!! (££££)

Clairetree1 · 08/07/2018 19:28

and there is absolutely nothing new about being asexual, we have been 1-2ish% of the population since records began in ancient times, and no doubt long before that too!

The difference is tody, with the internet, it is possible for asexuals to find each other, and form communities, which would have been very hard for them in the past; gay and lesbian people are not only a much larger percentage of the population, but also activley seek each other out, in a way that we don't, for obvious reasons.

Offred · 08/07/2018 19:31

There is nothing to stop other interest groups having their own marches/events IMO. I just don’t see why they all have to be tagged into homosexual civil rights. I don’t like that aspect of it. You might call it diversity but I call it appropriation and dilution.

Ereshkigal · 08/07/2018 19:35

Were the trans people marching with baseball bats actually violent?

Are men that hold up sub post offices with fake guns actually violent?

TacoLover · 08/07/2018 19:39

But pride is no longer considered just for homosexual rights. Most people consider it as a celebration for all LGBT+ people. I honestly don't understand why people would be annoyed at asexuals celebrating pride? I don't think many would be for pride being just for homosexuals, then a different event for pansexuals, asexuals, etc.

Clairetree1 · 08/07/2018 19:39

I just don’t see why they all have to be tagged into homosexual civil rights. I don’t like that aspect of it. You might call it diversity but I call it appropriation and dilution

nonsense, Pride is for celebrating anyone who doesn't fit into the heterosexual "norm".

Every gay or lesbian I have ever met at Pride has made us asexuals feel very wanted and welcome,