Gender Critical 'Lurkers'

[BadasIwannaB]

I’ve been reading the Gender Critical threads on Mumsnet for a few months now and I’m ‘delurking’ to say THANK YOU! To all the intelligent, articulate gender critical feminists here - you are my absolute heroes, and you’re really giving me hope!

I’ve thought for a long time that many aspects of the supposedly right-on rhetoric about gender is deeply misogynist, and I was unsettled and annoyed at how much pressure there is on women not to challenge it, and how much supposed ‘feminists’ enforce that pressure. But for a long time I felt like I must be the only person who thought this, because I wasn’t seeing anyone speaking out, and on the v few occasions where I mentioned any of this to friends, it didn’t go down well. So it’s been hugely inspiring and reassuring to see that there’s this growing community here standing up for women against the bullshit. I’ve literally been reading the discussions here every day for the last few months, and it cheers me up so much! I’ve become such a fan of so many of you: LangCleg, Datun, Bowlofbabelfish, Ereshkigal, Angry Attack Kittens, I could go on and on…

So I started wondering, how many people like me are there reading these threads and cheering silently from the sidelines? I’m hoping there are lots of us. I think it’s easy to think we’re a tiny minority because of all the fear surrounding joining the discussion, but maybe if we all delurked we’d see that that’s not the case.

So any other lurkers wanna delurk?

I posted on this thread earlier but wanted to add that, aside from the most pressing issues, its actually just nice to come and see women talk about womanhood.

Weirdly, that's not something I get much irl so that interesting vagina facts thread for example was amazing. So yeah, a long winded thanks for reminding me how great women are and how important it is to share some kind of community feeling.

I've been lurking for years, lately I've occasionally put a tentative post on a thread and then legged it back to my comfy lurking hideout. The feminist boards have really opened my eyes to a lot so I'm hugely appreciative of you all

I'm a regular lurker here too! I have learnt so much from these threads, thank you. One day I'll hopefully be brave enough to join in the conversations!

Me too please. Daren't say much but really appreciate the discussions. Some of the stuff we're supposed to suck up is unbe chuffing lievable

As LangCleg and AAK said you can say whatever you feel.
No one is here to judge how articulate you are.
The fact that you have an opinion is what's important. Everyone is here to raise awareness.

Also, if articulating yourself is hard at first it'll get easier the more you do it. We've all been socialized not to speak out, but the good news is that if you do so in this space there are hundreds of other women who understand that who want to hear what you have to say.

Yes, exactly. And we were all lurkers once. Every regular here wants to listen to you. We promise.

Mostly lurking but sometimes posting here too. Reading this board has been an education to me.
It was a shock to realise my long held, and I thought quite reasonable opinions would be considered transphobic by some. But what concerns me most is the undermining of women's rights without due consideration, the harm to some of the trans community this will also bring and the risks children are being not only exposed to but briskly shepherded towards. We must be able to talk about this.

Love this thread.
Welcome to all of the lurkers

Delurking after visiting this board every day for several months. I’ve learned so much from the wise, rational and witty regular posters and now have the knowledge and confidence to challenge any nonsense I encounter at my workplace (school) and elsewhere. Thank you all!

I mostly lurk and ccasionally post. This board has inspired me to become an active rad fem irl again. It's lovely to hear from all these lurkers it has really cheered me up after all the horrible stuff that's gone on here recently.

Another lurker who believes that words matter. I'm much more vocal on Twitter (different user name), where I'm sick of angry teenagers having strops with me because I won't let them have their own way with their thought policing.

I too am Lurkacus

Sometimes my head spins with it all & I have to step away for a bit. But I'm listening and being aware and engaging in conversations about the things I see happening IRL when I can.

Thank you for being braver than me.

I'm here too.
We are legion.

Evening all. I've been on Mumsnet for about 10 years now, I very rarely post and if I do it tends to be on something light hearted.
For the last 9 months or so, I've been spending most of my time lurking on these boards. I've learned so much and I do thank those of you who speak out. I never really thought of myself as a feminist before (and certainly not a radical one), but I do fear for the future of women's rights. I have tentatively discussed some of the issues with a couple of colleagues, and was relieved that they were aware of the issues and we were broadly in agreement. However, in real life I'm not sure that it is getting widely talked about.
As others have said, I also worry about vulnerable trans people getting caught up in any backlash.
Gotta be honest, I'll probably go back to lurking now, I'm exhausted!

This thread is so encouraging. Welcome to all the lurkers.

But please speak. You all have a voice and the rest of us want to hear it. Thinking we aren't clever or articulate or whatever enough is female socialization 101. We are women talking to other women. We don't have to play by the social rules that demand women take up less space.

Spread your limbs and speak out!

While reading this thread I've been planning my delurking post. But as always, everybody's already said everything I meant to say!

I'm in the US also and waiting for the day this building wave crashes onto our shores.

I can't keep up with most of the threads here but do post occasionally. After a conversation in RL tody, it really helped to be able to articulate concerns to a woman who had not heard about the issue, and when I gave the bare bones, got it straight away and was apalled at the idea that grown men and teenage boys could access girls and women in changing rooms, hospital wards prisons etc. Another women listening said she had heard from teaching colleagues about the way schools have been dealing with the problem for at least two years . So I think my time was well spent in talking to others out there. But as it was said for every regular poster , there are many many others who will bit accept the lies .

I came to MN for the SN boards. Found my way to AIBU. Then from Active I found FWR. I am so glad that I did. There are so many articulate and intelligent women here. I delurked yesterday, actually started my own thread (v.v scary). To be able to deal with the stuff going on we need to have the info. And you lovely regular posters provide it. I do not want my daughter's rights taken away - and you give me info.

Another lurker.

I'm a member of a feminist Facebook group here in New Zealand. There was discussion recently during the commonwealth games around Laurel Hubbard (the trans weight lifter) and how bad it was that people were questioning whether she had the right to represent NZ women in competition. The consensus was that true feminists wouldn't question her and would support anyone who identifies as a woman (and calling those feminists that do no the 'T' acronym, and 'not real faminists'). I'm ashamed that I did not question this, but i would have been well and truly ripped to shreds if i had. I am so grateful for the sanity i find on MN.

I've been lurking for months. I'm not even sure how I found out about this site - I'm not in the UK and not a mom! But I heard somewhere (maybe reddit gender critical?) that this was an active feminist board where people are "allowed" to be gender critical.

I just want to say thank you to all you awesome women for all your time and energy and insightful debate and empathy towards everyone.

This thread is brilliant

It's really easy to write to your MP or MSP(s) (not sure if Welsh AM are listed ) look at www.theyworkforyou.com & let them know what you think

Me too!

I've been lurking for months. But i made an account recently. Agreed with with other lurkers, i don't feel I can articulate as well as others and i don't want to derail your exchanges!

Welcome to all delurkers and lurkers alike/ please post and let's demonstrate the numbers of women who believe that biology is fact and who are appalled at the lack of impact assessments that any self id proposals have on women and girls, on here, as elsewhere

• we need wave after wave of women prepared to stand and speak the truth

Policing women's behaviour and speech is the modus operandi of abusers and those hostaged within the patriarchy not empowerers or freedom of being and speech

Why are women speaking out such a threat? That's the question to ask - who will lose power if the truth outs?

I’m also Lurkio. Have been, under various names, for years.

I don’t post, because I usually arrive on an interesting thread about page six, and feel I’ve nothing to add as it’s all been said. I’m also a tiny bit afraid of looking like a fifth columnist or getting in a fight with some of our less reasonable contributors.

I definitely think I’ve become more feminist as I’ve got older (middle aged now) because I give fewer fucks about upsetting people these days.

I’m also someone who wrestles with myself over gender issues. Lots of sympathy for anyone struggling with “identity” - but at the same time horrified at the levels of hate displayed towards women who, like me, want to keep just a few of our hard won rights.

to all the strong, articulate posters whose wise words I truly appreciate.