Gender Critical 'Lurkers'

[BadasIwannaB]

I’ve been reading the Gender Critical threads on Mumsnet for a few months now and I’m ‘delurking’ to say THANK YOU! To all the intelligent, articulate gender critical feminists here - you are my absolute heroes, and you’re really giving me hope!

I’ve thought for a long time that many aspects of the supposedly right-on rhetoric about gender is deeply misogynist, and I was unsettled and annoyed at how much pressure there is on women not to challenge it, and how much supposed ‘feminists’ enforce that pressure. But for a long time I felt like I must be the only person who thought this, because I wasn’t seeing anyone speaking out, and on the v few occasions where I mentioned any of this to friends, it didn’t go down well. So it’s been hugely inspiring and reassuring to see that there’s this growing community here standing up for women against the bullshit. I’ve literally been reading the discussions here every day for the last few months, and it cheers me up so much! I’ve become such a fan of so many of you: LangCleg, Datun, Bowlofbabelfish, Ereshkigal, Angry Attack Kittens, I could go on and on…

So I started wondering, how many people like me are there reading these threads and cheering silently from the sidelines? I’m hoping there are lots of us. I think it’s easy to think we’re a tiny minority because of all the fear surrounding joining the discussion, but maybe if we all delurked we’d see that that’s not the case.

So any other lurkers wanna delurk?

BoreofWhabylon
"I'm just an old woman who's mad as hell and not going to take it any more!"

Yeah, that's an apt description for me too - especially since the menopausal stuff turned up

Checking in as a lurker

I remember when my mum hit menopause and her willingness to take shit from anyone went from "limited" to "oh hell no". It was glorious.

I've experienced that glorious freedom thing with the menopause, AAK. I never worry about my clothes any more. I have a mental vision of what I plan to look like, and if I've achieved that I'll look in the mirror, smile at myself and be on my way without a second thought. I only buy things I love and never buy anything that needs ironing.

If I could only overcome my unreasoning fear of officialdom and making phone calls I'd be laughing.

I am lurkacus

I've been spending months reading and learning and wrapping my head around it all.

I'm also a slow reader for threads on this board as I feel there is a lot to absorb and consider so I can spend days on one thread, reading it in chunks.

I feel like I have collected all my thoughts enough to post yet but as someone who has always been GC (and as the mum of a gender non-conforming 12 year old DD who plays a contact sport and fortnite and loves programming and also loves being a girl and can't understand why there aren't more girls like her) this is a big area of interest and importance for me.

Only read the first 5 posts so will now go back and read the thread properly!

Velocitractor I have 2 sons. My youngest has several female friends in his Fortnite posse, including one of his best friends who is also a massive sci-fi fan (like DS2). They are out there.

Long-time lurker, reader and radfem. Finally joined up to show support and appreciation to the brave and intelligent women here. IRL I have been debating with anyone and everyone; I currently have a 100% peaktrans success rate. My stressful and draining job (which includes homework) rarely allows time for online debate, hence the lurkage.

Sincere love and admiration to these boards.

I've only read the first three pages so I hope this thread hasn't changed direction but I'm another long term lurker recently joined. Like others I get to the end of the thread and everything has been said by more experienced posters. But reading the arguments laid out makes it easier to argue in real life with more confidence.

I lurk a lot on this board. Thank you to all the regular posters for giving me the language and knowledge to be able to talk about this in real life .

It's also good to read that it's not just me who has turned into a raging bundle of fury as I've hit peri menopause . I'm quite enjoying it!

And yes to the menopause! My teenage daughter has seen me change in the last couple of years from a 'normal' feminist, making sure she understood all the issues etc and the differences between liberal and radical feminism, to somebody stomping round the house waving newspapers and mumsnet threads under her nose shouting 'you see, you see! This is what I'm talking about!'

I delurked last Wednesday. Might not post much in the future. But yes I do have to show my support to the women that show so much common sense.

Been lurking for maybe six months now. I had no idea about any of this before I joined Mumsnet. Thank you to all those brave enough to post, you've opened my eyes.

Hi

Another Lurky McLurkface here.

Thank you all of you.

Im what i suppose would be classed nowadays as a gender nonconforming female. Or just an old fashioned tomboy who never did get into wearing dresses as they got older. I’ve had a LOT of shit (discrimination and bullying) for it in the past and felt very uncomfortable with myself. And I think I would have been lured down the body mutilating trans route if I’d been a teen now.

It makes me so sad to think of it happening to all the younger versions of me out there. Especially as I made peace with who I am in my 20s and now have a child.

I now run a youth group and also play a sport with a large number of hip young lesbians and blue haired libfems. And I am peak transing them one person at a time. With stuff I learned on here.

This place has made my feminism so much stronger and better informed. Thank you, all of you.

In today's Times Janice Turner confirms that the Govt. consulatation will likely start this week:
(extract)
If Brexit is the most divisive issue in British politics, requiring a talent for squaring ideological circles and cajoling compromises from bitter enemies, reform of the 2004 Gender Recognition Act (GRA) runs it a close second. The consultation, long-delayed while three successive ministers for women and equalities scratched their heads, is finally launched on Tuesday.

Although even that isn’t official. Bizarrely the government wouldn’t confirm (or deny) the date. But I’ve seen emails: groups will give evidence in late July, a sleepy summer recess slot calculated, perhaps, to contain the GRA firestorm. Some chance.

Opposing forces are drilled for battle. On one side the trans lobby, including Stonewall and Gendered Intelligence, who claim changes to the process by which a trans person acquires a gender recognition certificate (GRC) are merely a tiny administrative tweak. On the other, feminist activists who fear that a legal redefinition of “woman” from biological sex to the nebulous, inner feeling of “gender identity” threatens female safety and privacy.... (continues)

threads:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3292631-Janice-Turner-in-the-Times-today

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3292661-Does-the-government-consultation-re-changes-to-the-GRA-start-this-week-Janice-Turner-thinks-so

I'm another long-time lurker - started by donating to JJ back in January and have just bought some MF merchandise.
Am building up courage to get more involved.
Very disturbed by the stance of MNHQ but am hoping they are on-side in reality.
As a sixties-born woman I really thought we were done, but it seems we're heading back to medieval times. Scary indeed.

Longtime lurker here. Rarely post (have a thread-kill rate of 50%!)
Thanks to everyone who keeps posting: I am learning so much and its helping me define what kind of feminist I am.

Another longtime mostly lurker here. I loved the FWR board but it seems like a lot of the really awesome posters have left (or been suspended?). It’s such a shame. I confess I’m thinking of looking for other sources of GC information and debate, which is sad.

Sorry to hear you're not satisfied with our performance, Sunny. Perhaps the quality of the debate would improve if you joined in.

Joined Mumsnet because Twitter said it was he place for discussion about proposed changes to the GRA. I should've guessed a platform for women by women would be the place for some down to earth, intelligent, fearless and witty discussion, but I wasn't prepared for the sheer quality of debate on here.

Since getting hooked, I've branched out into AIBU? and the discussions about driving on rural roads and the benefits of letting your washing get 'darker on'. You women are seriously weird.

I do want to support more and lurk less, but the standard is very high and I also worry about losing my rag and being the one whose post dumps Mumsnet in it. The new rules have me baffled, not because I'm thick, but because they don't make sense.

Mainly I don't post much because I'm still learning the secret language. I was on one thread and people suddenly started talking about gooseberries and wanting Christmas to start early! Maybe I need to lurk while I get to know the ropes but I know we need to speak out in these strange days and I want to do my part.

Thank you to the regular posters who have taught me so much.

Pywife2 the gooseberries/cooking/Christmas random posts are an amusing and non-aggressive way of dealing with goady posters trying to derail a thread.

Mainly I don't post much because I'm still learning the secret language. I was on one thread and people suddenly started talking about gooseberries and wanting Christmas to start early! Maybe I need to lurk while I get to know the ropes but I know we need to speak out in these strange days and I want to do my part.

I got confused when I first started to post too, but you soon catch on.

Hereabouts, recipe chat is a way to get rid of trollish types by boring them to death while simultaneously amusing each other.

And bees. Don't forget the bees.
🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

I posted early on on this thread about my lurkerdom - thanks OP it's great to hear how heartening the regulars have found it.

Have been reflecting since about how the FWR boards have made me not just less willing to tolerate shit from whichever direction it's slung but also more empathetic and thoughtful about people who are different from me, whose circumstances are different from mine. I like both of these developments.

Found MN years ago - by idly googling "why do men hate women' as a matter of fact. Which seemed ultimer than the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. Sadly, the answer wasn't 43.

I have mostly lurked since then, generally at first but lately mainly on FWR. Delurking now to add my support as a GC woman. You're ⭐️⭐️⭐️, the lot of you, lurkers and regulars alike.

Yup, lurker all 'round.