Schools told to avoid using 'mother' and 'father' ( in America). Could it happen here?

[Destinysdaughter]

In America, Alberta's government have released a new set of guidelines for how to have an 'inclusive' environment in its schools, including instructions to avoid using the words 'mother' and father.

Underneath a section titled “Indicators of this best practice in action,” it states:

School forms, websites, letters, and other communications use non-gendered and inclusive language (e.g., parents/guardians, caregivers, families, partners, “student” or “their” instead of Mr., Ms., Mrs., mother, father, him, her, etc.).

Is this where we will end up with this incessant policing of language?

www.nationalreview.com/2016/01/alberta-schools-mother-father-transphobic/

www.nationalreview.com/2016/01/alberta-schools-mother-father-transphobic/

With an increasing number of same sex couples with children this seems long overdue

We say parents and carers anyway as lots of kids are in foster care or living with relatives and there are same sex couples

With an increasing number of same sex couples with children this seems long overdue

Why? I'm a mother. Not a parent. I am a woman who gave birth to babies. Why should that word be taken from me because someone who decided they don't want to be a man or woman finds it offensive?
Create a new title in the same way mx was created but don't make us all adhere to these ridiculous politically correct policies.

Just because someone else wishes to change their identity doesn't mean I have to lose mine. I am a woman. And a mother.

Our school uses the phrase parents and care givers. Personally I think it is better than addressing everything to the mothers.

This is already done here and has been for years. School letters, etc all say 'parents or carer'

It avoids excluding or upsetting children who are orphaned, have lost a parent or are in care

A friend's daughter is in nursery in London. When she filed out the application it had sections for Parent 1 and Parent 2.

My children are both in schools and it has always been Mother and Father in forms. We are on Surrey though.

although i agree that "parents and carers" or similar, as we have in the uk, is just fine, i would like to make a point that is not often considered.

all children do have mothers and all children do at some point come to know that they have a mother. not talking about something, or using a euphemism, or the recently updated PC language, does not make it go away; although many adults seem to wish this was true. in fact, the more a thing is obscured in secrecy the more it can persist as a source of fear or worry. it is wrong to think that taking the word "mother" out of circulation in a school magically makes it ok for those children who for whatever reason do not have contact with their mothers.

it is my belief that genuine inclusivity for those children would mean going a lot further than just paying lip service by hiding words. it would mean asking them how they wanted to mark mothers' day for example and supporting them through it (be it to skip the class where cards were made, to make a card for someone else in their lives or to make the card they wish they could give to their mother).

Isn't Alberta in Canada rather than America? My impression is that, overall, Canada is a bit more "right on" than the USA, so more likely to adopt policies like this. But yes, I'm sure it could happen here too. Think about how the word partner is used rather than husband or wife.

The word "mother" hasn't been taken out of use. Just parents/carers is used on letters.

it is my belief that genuine inclusivity for those children would mean going a lot further than just paying lip service by hiding words

Yep totally agree with this.

To be honest I was using "partner" 15 years ago as it felt silly referring to my 30 something other half, who I'd been with 10 years, as my "boyfriend".

This thread made me think of a news story I read a long time ago, so I googled it:

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/1477484/Mother-is-the-most-beautiful-word.html

it would mean asking them how they wanted to mark mothers' day for example and supporting them through it (be it to skip the class where cards were made, to make a card for someone else in their lives or to make the card they wish they could give to their mother)

I think it is awful that schools mark mothers' day at all. It seems unnecessary at best and at worst grossly insensitive. My son's school didn't do mother's day.

I'm fairly certain his school used "parent or guardian" . That would have been in 1995.

Alberta is in Canada, not the USA.

My D.C. go to school in Texas, the teachers call me Mrs Bonnet, Mizz Copper or Ma’am depending on circumstances.

Can’t see that changing anytime soon.

as Ashe Schow explains it in a piece for Independent Women’s Forum: “It used to be ‘Heather has two mommies. Now, it’s ‘Heather has two non-gendered and inclusive caregivers.”

I bet it doesn't say that. "Heather has 2 parents"

I'm struggling to see the outrage here or what the objection is to referring to parent or guardian on school forms.

Parent or carer / guardian has been in use by schools for a very long time. At my children's school there were a fair few children looked after by grandparents having been removed from their parents, so 'mother and father' on everything would not have been great.

And yes Alberta is not in America. It's a province of Canada and currently having a bit of a culture war, as it is traditionally fairly right wing (conservative, family values etc) but elected a left wing government last time around. Likely will swing right again at the next election and so there is lots of campaigning from both conservatives against change and progressives pro change. School policies are a particular battlefield.

I'm happy with this approach as I don't believe parenting school age children is a biologically governed function.

Very relieved this year following dh's death that ds is not at primary school where they often did do father's day activities. I assume they did it sensitively but am glad he's not having to face it this year.

Parent/carer/guardian is used widely in the UK, it's sensible for many reasons due to children who are in care, fostered, looked after by another family member and so on. When I was teaching I'd always try to remember to refer to "your parent, or adult at home" or similar rather than using "Mum & Dad". Mainly because I knew very well that several children in my classes didn't have Mum, or didn't have Dad, or lived with other relatives, or were in care.

As long as individuals are referred to how they prefer, when addressed individually, of course.

Doesn’t bother me. The letters already say parent/guardian I don’t think I’ve seen one that says Mum or Dad on it?

I don't think this is a trans issue.

Not just parents but step-parents, guardians, responsible older siblings, grandparents can feel included. I doubt that there is any more to it than this.

I think it is awful that schools mark mothers' day at all. It seems unnecessary at best and at worst grossly insensitive

My dgd's school is celebrating Father's Day, which is very painful for her as her father disappeared about eight months ago, so I agree.