Schools told to avoid using 'mother' and 'father' ( in America). Could it happen here?

[Destinysdaughter]

In America, Alberta's government have released a new set of guidelines for how to have an 'inclusive' environment in its schools, including instructions to avoid using the words 'mother' and father.

Underneath a section titled “Indicators of this best practice in action,” it states:

School forms, websites, letters, and other communications use non-gendered and inclusive language (e.g., parents/guardians, caregivers, families, partners, “student” or “their” instead of Mr., Ms., Mrs., mother, father, him, her, etc.).

Is this where we will end up with this incessant policing of language?

www.nationalreview.com/2016/01/alberta-schools-mother-father-transphobic/

I'm sorry for your granddaughter. I didn't mention father's day as it hadn't occurred to me schools could be so cloth- headed not to have spotted that father's day may be insensitive for many children.

I agree with parents and carers on official forms. But they should talk about mother and father otherwise. Of course!

I mean, if they're to avoid the words altogether then we are in Cultural Revolution territory.

Surely this is about the changes in the structure of families nowadays. It’s not all about trans people.
We have same sex parents.
Single mum families.
Single dad families.
Families where the children are fostered.
Families where the grandparents or another family member are looking after the children.
I’m sure there are more possibilities.

Agree with pps. Kids are with grandparents. Kids are in care. Our nursery uses "your grown up" which I find quite cute.

My children's school generally uses "parents or guardians".

On one occasion they used the term "responsible adult", which ended with lots of clever clogs signing off "The Irresponsible One".
However, I am not in the UK. It sounded better in the original language.

I absolutely agree with this. I have children in my class with 2 mothers, with single parent families, with both parents dead, living with grandparents, etc.

Saying 'parents and carers' harms noone and includes everybody.

Our school, in England, already refers to 'parents/carers' in all letters. And I'm pretty sure has done so since DC joined (I kept the first school newsletter in a memory box). That's early 00s.

I thought this was totally normal, we live in a diverse area of London and listing all the possible preferred titles would make forms and letters really unwieldy. They were also really tactful about things like Mothers Day and Fathers Day, and I think that's a good thing.

My dds schools used parents/guardians on every single letter/not of info.

They are 27 and 23 so it’s been happening for decades.

*Piece of info

I don't think this is a trans issue or a feminist issue. Schools have been using "parent/guardian" for as long as I can remember.

We use parents/carers/guardians.

Mainly because not all children live with their mum/dad, quite a few children have sadly lost their mum/dad, we've got some who are moving around the care system and have had 15 homes in 8 years, others are looked after by grandparents. In some cases, we've had informal fostering arrangements where family friends have been looking after children.

Parnent and carers covers most bases. It has nothing to do with keeping adults happy and everything to do with being aware that different children have different backgrounds.

Alberta is in Canada. I wouldn't expect anything else actually. There is a powerful TRA in their government and the press regulations are very strict on the way they report about Transgender people. Their prisons are segregated by gender not sex. They have self declaration for all documents. Sports I think are segregated by gender not sex but you wouldn't actually know because they'd just say "woman wins" whatever.

I think Alberta is showing itself to be about 30years behind the times!

And I'm surprised it is taking legislation there to impose the terminology that is already nigh-on universal in UK. (And which is sod all to do with trans issues - though everything does seem to get shoehorned into that debate in this topic)

Like others I think this probably hasn't got anything to do with trans issues and has everything to do with being quite rightly sensitive to children from non-standard family set ups

I can see what Lass is saying re mother's day, but as a single parent I rather liked it when DS came home from nursery or infant school classes with home made mother's day cards as there was no one at home for him to sit down and make one with (one can't very well supervise the making of one's own card). I also appreciated that they had the common sense to let him make a card for grandad in the run up to father's day.

There are plenty of children with atypical family set ups. I wish schools wouldn't do Mothers/Fathers Day stuff. My DH died when our DC were still in primary school. You do not want to trigger a child's overwhelming grief when they think about their dad.

I'm completely happy with it tbh - I actually think that using Mum and dad or mothers and fathers leads to more lazy stereotyping as well as being incorrect.

There's plenty of festivals for the kids to make and do so dropping mothers/Father's Day really wouldn't affect the amount of 'art' that comes home to me as well

Re mother's and father's day I have an antipathy to both, as did my mother and my mother in law.

I think it is extremely insensitive for schools to push either. The suggestion by one poster that a child could just skip the class when that is being done astonishes me. So a child should be expected to draw attention to his or herself?

By say 11 or 12 won't most children will have picked up from the media that this concept exists? If they then of their volition buy or make a card or bring their mother or father breakfast in bed doesn't that mean more than it being something which will only happen if a teacher or another adult has had to push it? Particularly if the promotion has been at the expense of making other children feel left out or odd?

Making either mother or father's day cards was not a thing when I was at school and neither were done at my son's school.

I do wonder if the OP is a parent given the use of parents/ guardians/ carers has been standard terminology in the UK for decades.

"Parent or guardian" was used when I was at school in the 1980s. I really don't think this is a big issue.

Parents or Guardian used here too and that's fine. My children still call me mum and that's enough for me.

This is not about Trans issues. Schools have been sensitive to the fact that children come from a variety of family situations for decades.
Being aware that many children are brought up by grandparents, foster parents, same sex couples, siblings, living in care etc etc means that the casual use of mother and father just needs thinking about. It's being sensitive to the pupils in front of you and their situation.
Not controversial at all.

Yep, 'parents/carers' is standard on most communication in schools in the UK, and has been for a long time.

Actually, Alberta (and Canada) are in North America, and as the OP just said 'America' it's not actually clear whether they meant North America, which includes the U.S.A, Canada and Mexico, or the United States of America. So they may not have been actually wrong, just imprecise.
scuttles back to pedants' corner

Ours has ‘caregivers for’ or parents/guardians.

I did go to school with several kids who had lost parents, or were in care, or brought up by GPs - this was around then (80s.)

I dont think it’s necessarily an assault on mothers. We never did mother’s day either now I think of it.

As a person in a same-sex relationship, I always check for “parent 1” and “parent 2”.

Otherwise, I was at school in the 90s/00s, “Dear Parent/Guardian” was the standard greeting.