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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Your earliest memories of sexism

97 replies

sandcastle010 · 10/06/2018 22:38

The stuff on here about sex and gender, biology and society, has got me thinking about memories of when I was younger.
I remember being called out of the playground age 6 to put my brothers clothes back on for him after PE every week (age 5)
Not sure if that would have happened if I was a boy.
Also girls played in the infants playground with the young ones to leave the junior playground for the boys to play football
Also we had a teacher in year 5 who used to say ‘girls can’t throw’ and therefore the boys would play rounders while all us girls stood in a kind of dismal line queueing up to practice throwing. We never graduated to playing rounders until we were the next year up with a different teacher!
I remember being kind of irritated by all of this at the time. Now I hope for better for my kids.
Does anyone else have similar memories?

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 10/06/2018 22:43

Not being allowed to do technical drawing.inprimary. girls sewed at the back of the class. I sat as near to the divide as possible so I could see as much of the boys lesson as possible.

LaContessaDiPlump · 10/06/2018 22:47

God, that's like trying to remember the individual water molecules in a bath. I grew up in the Middle East so sex stereotyping was rife.....

FermatsTheorem · 10/06/2018 23:06

Wanting to do woodwork at primary school but being made to do needlework instead because I was a girl.

VaggieMight · 10/06/2018 23:09

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at poster's request.

NoseringGirl · 10/06/2018 23:11

Being told to go play netball when I was 10 by my PE teacher when I wanted to play football because football wasn't for girls. I bloody hated netball. I still love football.
Being wolf whistled at by builders when I was 12. That makes me feel quite sick when I look back. I remember worrying that my shorts were too short and I shouldn't wear them again.
There were things in between, certainly a lot more since then and probably even before the first one. Those are the two that really stood out for me though.

AssassinatedBeauty · 10/06/2018 23:19

Not being allowed to play football, rugby or cricket in secondary school. Being rejected by boys when trying to play football with them at break time. Being totally ignored by my science teacher who only wanted to teach to the boys, who sat at the front. That's probably the earliest stuff.

thebewilderness · 10/06/2018 23:24

My uncle asked me when I was four what all people who do not know how to talk to children ask.
The children's picture books in the 1950s had male doctor, fireman, policeman, female nurse, female schoolteacher, that sort of thing as role models.
I had every intention of growing up to be a horse, or a horse rider, either was fine with me. I had already learned what happened to children who failed to pick one of the picture book people as their model.
So I said I would be a doctor when I grew up. He responded that I could not because a girl can't be a doctor so I would have to be a nurse.
I did not grow up to be a doctor or a nurse or a horse. Instead I grew up to be a feminist and an LEO.

SuperSuperSuper · 10/06/2018 23:24

I lived near a farm and my parents were friendly with the elderly farmer. When I was about 4, my parents and I visited him. A vet had just left, having seen to a sick animal. A "lady vet", much to the farmer's dismay. He said that a lady vet was fine for the cats and the chickens, but you needed a man to deal with cattle and horses.

I remember an elderly uncle saying that women shouldn't be allowed to drive, fly, join the military, or play golf. He was a big fan of Thatcher though.

PatchworkElmer · 10/06/2018 23:30

I remember being told that one day I’d get married and change my last name, but my brother wouldn’t change his name if he got married. I remember thinking how unfair it was.

I didn’t ditch my last name when I got married.

SoundofSilence · 10/06/2018 23:32

PE knickers and skirts at school that made me feel self conscious and uncomfortable. Plus cooking and sewing instead of woodwork, metalwork and technical drawing. Sewing was my one school rebellion. After the first two mangled projects, I flat out refused to do any more and got kicked out to make hanging baskets in the corridor on my own. Unfortunately for them, that suited me down to the ground.

UpstartCrow · 10/06/2018 23:33

Being sexually abused by several male relatives, and not being believed when I complained.
Having to help with the housework while the men and boys watched TV.
Taking second place to my brother in everything because he was the boy.
Smaller portions at mealtimes.
Being told not to eat so much, or be so loud.
Watching my brother get big expensive presents every birthday and Xmas.
Being told it wasn't worth putting me through university as girls dont need an education, they rely on their husbands to support them.

I was irritated by the blatant sexism pretty much all the time. I also didn't understand the homophobia and racism.
I couldn't change much at home, but at school, I successfully campaigned for girls to wear trousers (but we were only allowed to in winter), and to do metalwork and technical drawing, and for boys to do Home Economics.

BonnieF · 10/06/2018 23:34

Being given stupid dolls as presents when I was a kid. I hated bloody dolls. I wanted to read books, ride my bike and play football with the boys.

Persifleur · 10/06/2018 23:41

My mother telling my grandmother she was so glad to have a son now (my little brother) to carry on the family name. (i.e. my father's surname.) Hmm

Happyhippy45 · 10/06/2018 23:41

The reluctance of the coaches for me to be allowed to join the cricket team. It was the early 80s and I was 10.
In hind sight I also remember the amazement and patronising response when I bowled a 6 against a rival school.
The refusal of the coaches to let me join the football team in both primary and secondary school.
The woodwork teacher who actively discouraged girls from joining in the mandatory woodwork class because he thought we wouldn't like it. We were just meant to sit around and do nothing while he taught the boys. He tolerated my interest though and was actually an ok guy apart from the sexism.
When I started my training as a chef the females got naff white pinafore type uniforms and the guys got chefs whites(trousers and jacket) I stamped my feet and got chefs whites. Tough industry for a women back then. Not sure if it's any better now.

bearhug · 10/06/2018 23:43

Aged 4 or 5, I won the tallest sunflower prize at the village fete. Bizarrely there were separate prizes for the best infant girl and the best infant boy sunflower grower. The prize for the boy was a fabulous plastic fire engine. The girl's prize was a doll of some sort. 40 odd years on, the unfairness still grates Blush

Persifleur · 10/06/2018 23:44

You did say "your earliest memories" - I was three then but there are plenty more. Grin

randomuntrainedcuntowner · 10/06/2018 23:51

I went to a girls grammar school. My brother went to s boys grammar school a few hundred yards away, but separate school. We did food technology (Home economics) and textile technology (needlework), while they did stuff with word and metal. Also I did further maths and could only do pure maths and statistics, whereas he could do pure maths and mechanics. It was subtle, but the message was there.

My daughter is already a stonking feminist (age 7) and I love it. No deliberate influence from me, but she is always pointing out how the boys are able to get away from different behaviour from the girls and how it is not fair!

Offred · 10/06/2018 23:51

Earliest would be finding out I was a girl when I went to school. When I was that age for me being a girl or a boy was entirely based on what kind of things you liked and what you could do when you were older.

I liked (was obsessed with) dinosaurs, stuf with wheels, castles and knights and science and I was really upset to discover I was actually a girl because I believed it meant that I wasn’t allowed to like the things I liked and would never be able to do or be the things I imagined.

It took several years for me to properly understand.

UpstartCrow · 10/06/2018 23:51

Not being allowed to take a toy from the boys bran tub, or being given a present for a girl from Santa. And resenting it, because I knew the girls prizes were going to be rubbish.

BlackeyedSusan · 10/06/2018 23:52

going to see santa and wanting and getting a toy from the boys toy section. It was a soldier on a parachute.

BlackeyedSusan · 10/06/2018 23:52

I was luckier than upstart crow then

UpstartCrow · 10/06/2018 23:53

I used to nick my brothers Grin

Persifleur · 10/06/2018 23:55

WTAF? I'm just charging up my mobile having been abroad for a few days snd it flashes up "female United Kingdom". Maybe it's Eurostar.

Offred · 10/06/2018 23:55

I remember being confused at playschool when I was 3 or 4 by being told I wasn’t allowed on the tractors (by boys) because they were for boys and I had to go in the Wendy house but not really making the connection until I went to school and had to wear uniform which clearly marked me out as a girl and other children as boys.

Picassospaintbrush · 10/06/2018 23:56

I was in the field at the back home with my brothers and all of the village kids. When I went home to set the table for tea, my mother asked me what I was doing with the boys. At that point in time I realised my behaviour would be judged differently to boys. At that point in time I decided I would not judge myself differently to boys.