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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Your earliest memories of sexism

97 replies

sandcastle010 · 10/06/2018 22:38

The stuff on here about sex and gender, biology and society, has got me thinking about memories of when I was younger.
I remember being called out of the playground age 6 to put my brothers clothes back on for him after PE every week (age 5)
Not sure if that would have happened if I was a boy.
Also girls played in the infants playground with the young ones to leave the junior playground for the boys to play football
Also we had a teacher in year 5 who used to say ‘girls can’t throw’ and therefore the boys would play rounders while all us girls stood in a kind of dismal line queueing up to practice throwing. We never graduated to playing rounders until we were the next year up with a different teacher!
I remember being kind of irritated by all of this at the time. Now I hope for better for my kids.
Does anyone else have similar memories?

OP posts:
Persifleur · 10/06/2018 23:56

Sorry wrong thread.

Writersblock2 · 10/06/2018 23:59

Being made to feel I wasn’t good enough because my father wanted a daddy’s girl who would love him unconditionally, hang on his every word, and wear frilly dresses.

I refused to wear dresses or skirts before I even got to school, and I still think my father mostly talks bullshit. Lol.

thebewilderness · 11/06/2018 00:05

OMG the effing dolls. Never ever ever give a horse crazy child dolls. It is cruelly disappointing and a waste of your money.

Persifleur · 11/06/2018 00:11

I was at school a long time ago, when boys were referred to by surnames and girls by first names. Boys were caned for bad behaviour and girls were told off and given detention. But the thing that really pissed me off (let alone the needlework/technical drawing bullshit) was when the headmaster stopped our nascent football team practising because it wasn"t ladylike.
I still wonder about our games mistress and how she felt about that and how she dealt with it. She'd been so keen.

Picassospaintbrush · 11/06/2018 00:14

I have always dealt with sexism. What I really want is women to challenge representatiiin. Fucking stand up. Please.

MsAwesomeDragon · 11/06/2018 00:39

The school uniform was probably the earliest sexism I experienced. Boys wore trousers, girls wore pinafores, for the whole of primary school.

Then as a Catholic, it was at church when I wanted to be an altar boy and wasn't allowed to. It hadn't really occurred to me that all the altar boys were boys Hmm. I did make the point that I was fine with being called a boy if that was the problem. It wasn't. That has changed now and dd1 was an altar server for a few years (before we left the church for a life of godless heathenism).

Then I went to a girls secondary school and it was the last sexist place I've ever experienced. We did everything the boys did at the boys school, including woodwork, football, and all the "manly" subjects. It came as quite a shock at 18 to discover quite how sexist the outside world actually is, because I just hadn't experienced it in my little bubble.

MyOtherUserNameIsAUnicorn · 11/06/2018 03:27

@MsAwesomeDragon
I remember being the first Alter person to carry the cross up to the front... 1992(ish?)

MyOtherUserNameIsAUnicorn · 11/06/2018 03:27

Alter girl...

0lwen · 11/06/2018 05:14

im embarrassed by this, but at home and the tv was on and my dad was watching benny hill/ I was thinking wow this show is odd. my dad said i could be a benny hill girl when I grew up. I was about 7. I remember feeling really discombobulated by that comment and having a strong sense that my dad had said something that wasn't good for my future.

Downeyhouse · 11/06/2018 05:37

Not being allowed to join the rugby club aged 4! Was gutted was never a ballet kind of girl.

On the I remember being 6 and my lovey dad telling me girls can do anything and be anything and to never let anyone tell me otherwise! And that girls should get an education and go to Uni.

I have brothers and my parents never treated us differently. Enlightened for the 70s.

Am thankful for that and it has stood me well in life.

redexpat · 11/06/2018 05:47

Different uniform in infants.

Being told to go play netball when I was 10 by my PE teacher when I wanted to play football because football wasn't for girls.

The christmas play one year was called the 4th wise man. I dont think any girls got any speaking roles.

Charley50 · 11/06/2018 05:59

I remember protesting with my friend in junior school because boys were allowed to take their tops off and girls weren't. (No uniform).
We took our tops off and ran around.

I remember being very upset because there was a kids tv drama series about a boy who was friends with a dolphin. Except I had seen the first episode and the dolphin's original friend was a girl but she got sent away as life there was too tough for girls. That turned me feminist at a young age.

I also loved playing football and was good at it, but playing in a team wasn't an option.

macaronip1e · 11/06/2018 06:00

Prob not my earliest memory of sexism but a vivid one - after getting the highest score in the year on a maths test being told by one male teacher that I was “very good at maths, for a girl” and other saying “ well I suppose you’re pretty pleased with yourself getting higher than the boys”

Ifonlyus · 11/06/2018 09:46

My parents aren't the most progressive thinking or particularly pro-outspoken for women's rights but I mostly have memories of them having unlimited expectations for me and not treating me differently from my brother. However, one thing they did do was encourage my brother in sports but not me. I loved PE and was athletic but no-one noticed. My school was crap about this stuff and my parents did not seek opportunities for me to participate outside of school but did for my brother.

I feel lucky to have grown up in the 70s and 80s with hindsight. At the least the battle-cry of 'girls are as good as boys' was fairly universal in my school.

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 11/06/2018 09:47

my brother eating with my dad and my sisters and I tidying. My brother helping out doors and girls indoors. Just my brother getting any shit he asked for. We haven't spoken since 1999. Favouritism via sexism. The end. Mothers and sons.. gross.

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 11/06/2018 09:49

My dad spoke up at the Marylebone Criscket Club abotu why women should not be allowed in the main room, or something.. it's been changed now, but I heard how 'men need to get away from these booody wemeen, you don't understand but men need space'. I am sure they do.

MillyTheKid · 11/06/2018 09:53

Strange that I can't remember any of the stuff about segregation in terms of school subjects... apart from PE. Maybe there was and I've just forgotten. I do always remember sexism being noticeable when watching TV programmes, especially old films where a woman was supposed to know her place or a man raised an eyebrow if she had any position of authority.

PenguindreamsofDraco · 11/06/2018 09:55

I remember feeling confused when reading the Famous Five at probably 5 or 6. Why was George nearly as good as a boy?

But actual proper sexism directed at me, probably not until later on when I noticed how very much better my cousins' presents from our grandparents were, because they were boys and 'deserved' more.

Theinconstantgardener · 11/06/2018 10:17

Wanting to do woodwork at primary school but being made to do needlework instead because I was a girl ( dad was a Carpenter)
^^
I wouldn't have minded so much if I was any good at it but I was mince. Same with cookery. Still am! Also careers officer (man) asking me why I was worrying about my o levels ( wanted to be a nursery 'nurse') as I was a pretty girl and would be getting married....

differentnameforthis · 11/06/2018 10:42

Probably not my earliest, but the one that sticks the most ...

My mother. I was 8/9. She told me that I couldn't sign up to play a certain instrument in music as it was a "boy's instrument"

"girls don't play guitars, stick with the recorder"

Melamin · 11/06/2018 10:48

Being told by another child* at playgroup that the cowboy dressing up outfit I was wearing was for boys.

(*absolutely not the policy of the pre-school playgroup association of the 1960s)

AbsolutelyBeginning · 11/06/2018 10:49

I had to do woodwork, metalwork and technical drawing at school. As well as the sewing and cookery classes.

Hated them all equally!

At least I was given the opportunity, I suppose.

drspouse · 11/06/2018 10:52

Boys taking over the playground for football.
Not being allowed to sing in the church choir - this was HUGE for me. Life changing.
Boys ogling and teasing while we got changed for PE aged 10. I was an early developer.

Jaxhog · 11/06/2018 10:52

My Dad telling me I couldn't have a Mechano set because I was a girl. I was 10.

MaterialReality · 11/06/2018 11:47

Age 3, my baby brother being born and hearing lots of relatives say how pleased my dad must be to have a boy.
Watching kids TV and noticing that most of the superhero/adventurer teams had only one female character and she usually had to be rescued by the others.
Always being given pink clothes and toys even when I said I disliked the colour 'because you're a girl and pink is for girls.' My brother had his choice of colours. To this day I won't wear pink.

Interestingly I read the Famous Five and plenty of classic children's books with overt sexism and didn't really pick up on it as being wrong. I had a lot of internalised sexism that didn't manifest until later, almost as if I thought that little girls could do what they wanted but adult women had to be a certain way. I remember being ten or so and trying to decide if I'd prefer to be a teacher or a nurse - because that was what women did. If they didn't get married. And this was in the 1990s.