Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

My Manfriday, without realising it.

40 replies

BatShite · 09/06/2018 14:39

Copied this from another thread..as I highly suspect that thread will go poof before long.

I went to see Ed Sheeran at St James Park last night. In the break after Anne Marie (supporting), the queue for the womens loo was literally 300 people long, maybe more. Meanwhile there seemed to be noone in the mens. The women were waiting patiently as they are used to this obviously. So I led a mass revolt into the mens, I announced to the people around me that if we were stopped, we just need to say we 'identify' as men, which amused them BUT it turned out a few of them had already heard of all this self ID nonsense and found the idea decent. So off we went to the mens. A few men were in there and I did shout through that we were coming in incase they weren't impressed (which I guess goes against the whole 'I am a man' thing, but yeah, I thought of their feelings and discomfort) and a couple shot into the cubicle instead of continuing to use the urinal. Those men were absolutely not happy at all with the situation. A few men were though and found it funny, and one stopped to talk to me where I told him that I am currently identifying as a man as the womens queue was ridiculous. he had also heard of all the self ID nonsense, chuckled to himself and left. And the women, got to the loo faster. Men had to queue beside the (growing) queue of women who were waiting there..or use the urinal in a room full of women, that they did not seem impressed with either. And security came over but they just stood at the door holding it open for people.

I then found out that earlier in the night, the same kind of thing had happened BUT it had actually been one of the female security staff who had went to the mens, held the door and invited women in the large queue to come use the mens instead. So basically, the female security staff had decided to allow women to identify as men grin

A good day, really. And I did not click on that it was friday either until this thread. Heh.

The mens fucking stank to the high heavens though, but it was better than being desperate for the loo for an hour in a ridiculously long queue for sure. And potentially missing half of Ed Sheeran, given the breaks were fairly short.

I would say it was probably 50/50 of men who were ok with it,. and men who absolutely were not. If I had clicked on about it being ManFriday I would have attempted to explain this to the men who were not impressed. But I didn't..I didn't plan on doing a ManFriday, however it was just a thought when so many women were inconvenienced and there was a way to end this. I was expecting to have to explain to security that we identified as men though, and find out what St James' Park thought of it all. But as it turned out, security were not just accepting of it, they started it earlier in the night when the same problem reared its head. Not entirely sure why they did not start it in the second break mind, maybe they had had a talking to or something. But I did start it the second time, and it felt bloody good.

OP posts:
EmpressOfSpartacus · 09/06/2018 14:40

Bat Wine

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 09/06/2018 14:41

Good for you!

BatShite · 09/06/2018 14:42

Oh, forgot to add, security were there once they saw women going into the mens, as they said basically, its not exactly safe for women to do so, as I did chat to one of the guys when I came out. So they were protecting us, whilst also letting men know that women were in there, as obviously men will not expect to go to go to the loo and be faced with a bunch of women. So it seems, people know that unisex facilities are not exactly safe. Which is interesting. I don't think we were exactly in much danger, given how many women were there and if anything had happened one of the women could have got security easily, but it was interesting that security staff know unisex is not safe for women.

OP posts:
daimbars · 09/06/2018 14:50

BatShite hate to break it to you but you're not the first woman to use the men's loos when the queue for the ladies is too long. It happens all the time.

Ask anyone who's been to a Take That concert!

The ladies use the men's loo don't bother to self ID as male because why would they? They just use the men's anyway.

By the same token any man who wished to enter a ladies loo would just go in anyway. He wouldn't check whether a piece of administration on the GRA process had been modified slightly before he did so.

LassWiADelicateAir · 09/06/2018 14:53

it had actually been one of the female security staff who had went to the mens, held the door and invited women in the large queue to come use the mens instead. So basically, the female security staff had decided to allow women to identify as men

No they didn't- they sensibly dealt with the situation by taking the obvious action of herding people queuing to where there were available loos. The bar staff at The Old Vic did that one time I was there.

If anything this is is an argument for getting rid of single sex loos at places like theatres and concert venues where there is a high turnover of users in a short period.

BatShite · 09/06/2018 14:57

BatShite hate to break it to you but you're not the first woman to use the men's loos when the queue for the ladies is too long. It happens all the time.

Quite well aware of this thanks, but it seemed noone else in the 300 person queue had any thought to do this, but as soon as I said this maybe 10 women came with me, and then once a few of us had done it, loads more followed.

If anything this is is an argument for getting rid of single sex loos at places like theatres and concert venues where there is a high turnover of users in a short period.

Definitely agree with this. At newcastle arena, they actually have security staff standing outside the loos to make sure that noone uses the wrong one ffs. Which is pretty stupid. There should absolutely not be single sex loos at concerts, as its always the case that the womens queue is really long and there is noone waiting for the mens.

OP posts:
LassWiADelicateAir · 09/06/2018 14:57

BatShite hate to break it to you but you're not the first woman to use the men's loos when the queue for the ladies is too long. It happens all the time

It does- of course it depends on the location. I wouldn't use the gents' loos at a railway station but a busy concert venue with 2 minutes left of the interval is a different matter.

LassWiADelicateAir · 09/06/2018 14:59

Sorry Bat my posts are a bit snippy given your later posts. I am not a fan of Man Friday.

daimbars · 09/06/2018 15:02

Lass agreed. Bars, concerts etc where alcohol is served and time is short using the men's toilets is fair cop.
Never even considered I might not be welcome!

BatShite · 09/06/2018 15:02

I am a huge fan of manfriday, as its raising awareness of ridiculous rules that some businesses are implementing.

I did not actually mean to do anything besides avoid a stupidly long queue, but I clicked on that it was Friday and it seemed relevant. I found it rather interesting actually, that noone else in the queue had thought to just use the mens instead, especially with the amount of security staff floating around. I have no doubt that if it was reversed, men would use the womens without a second thought.

OP posts:
BatShite · 09/06/2018 15:03

But yes, clearly unisex loos at large events where large amounts of security staff are there is the way forward here. Just, not unisex loos and such in quieter places with no/little security. IMO.

OP posts:
MsMcWoodle · 09/06/2018 15:04

It's not an argument for getting rid of single sex loos at all. Women don't want it, men don't want it, the only people who want it are TRAs.
And very interesting to hear that the security staff, who should know, realised that it wasn't safe.
Well done Bat - more publicity about the madness can only help.

daimbars · 09/06/2018 15:04

I have no doubt that if it was reversed, men would use the womens without a second thought.

I absolutely disagree. Have you ever seen a man in the ladies at a football match?!

BatShite · 09/06/2018 15:05

Bars, concerts etc where alcohol is served and time is short using the men's toilets is fair cop.

You would randomly use the mens in a normal bar? Meanine like a small pub or something? More balls than me tbh.

I have done so when drinking in the pink triangle nightclubs in Newcastle mind, as it seems to be unofficially unisex anyway and the womens was filled with blokes waiting for mirrors! Meanwhile I care not too much about my appearance once I have had a few drinks so I did not care about mirrors, just somewhere to pee.

OP posts:
BatShite · 09/06/2018 15:07

I absolutely disagree. Have you ever seen a man in the ladies at a football match?!

I have never been to a football match as football does not interest me. I find it odd that if the mens has a huge queue and the womens is empty (which I wouldn't expect as...a lot of women like football too or will go with their partners or whatever) men would not use the womens.

OP posts:
BatShite · 09/06/2018 15:08

However again, there is a bit of a difference between women using the mens and vice versa as (decent) men would be aware of how scary a woman would find it if she came out of the cubicle and a random bloke was there. The same threat just is not there the other way around.

OP posts:
BatShite · 09/06/2018 15:09

*how scary a woman might find it

That should read. As not all women would find it scary to be alone with a man in an isolated area, or a lot of men...but many would

OP posts:
aaronburr · 09/06/2018 15:37

We all used to routinely use the mens when out clubbing in the 90s if the queue for the ladies was too long.

Everybody was pilled up though and it felt like a safe atmosphere

LassWiADelicateAir · 09/06/2018 15:39

It's not an argument for getting rid of single sex loos at all. Women don't want it, men don't want it, the only people who want it are TRAs

In your opinion. It depends on the location and the user patterns. Glasgow Theatre Royal for example as part of its refurbishment installed unisex, lockable single cubicles with floor to ceiling walls, mirrors and basins. In that particular situation I much prefer that than a long queue for the ladies. In my opinion it is worth considering in that type of venue.

daimbars · 09/06/2018 15:39

I'm glad someone else mentioned being pilled up in the 90s as that's what immediately sprung to mind GrinBlush

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 09/06/2018 15:40

Thanks for the Vice link. They sound rattled. All the usually talking points and Man Friday is "squalid". It's made an impact. I love Man Friday.

Starfish · 09/06/2018 15:51

Jesus christ...

HornyTortoise · 09/06/2018 16:02

Thanks for the Vice link. They sound rattled. All the usually talking points and Man Friday is "squalid". It's made an impact. I love Man Friday.

Indeed.

The real problem with ManFriday is that it is publicizing all of the nonsense and its increasingly turning out that men are not happy either. Transactivists wanted to get it all passed on the sly, as it would be very hard to reverse once done. They wanted only women to have to put up with obvious men (such as themselves in many cases) in female areas as they knew if it affected men things would actually change. Well now its affecting men, and things are changing. The swim guidance thing for one, and seemingly Hampstead heath too, though in practice I still doubt the police would be called when its men in the womens area.

So yeah, thats the real problem with ManFriday, and its obvious they are very rattled over this. I acknowledge that the OP was not an actual ManFriday thing, but its yet another incident that shows many men are not impressed with females in their areas. Funny that, I thought it was only women who were bigoted.

Pratchet · 09/06/2018 16:03

Nice one Bat! How terrific!

It's not an argument for getting rid of single sex loos at all. Women don't want it, men don't want it, the only people who want it are transactivists

Yes, neatly put.