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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Please help me come up with a good put down for my chauvinistic FIL

50 replies

Tailfeather · 04/06/2018 21:57

He makes my blood boil. He had a very traditional upbringing and brought his children up the same way. And he thinks his way is the right way and that the vast majority of families have mum staying at home doing the cooking, cleaning, shopping and childcare while dad goes to work.

I come from a family where my grandma was a widowed working mother and my mum worked throughout my whole childhood.

I am married to his son, we have a little boy and I run my own business. It's a small business, but I employ 9 members of staff and get great satisfaction from the challenges and achievements. He always refers to it as my 'little project' and asks when I'm going to give it up and become a proper housewife....?!

He is so sexist and chauvinistic. I could write an essay on examples of awful comments and ridiculous things he has said ('women shouldn't drink', 'women shouldn't play sport' etc). Anyway, he has just shared a post on Facebook about 1950s housewife 'rules' - like having the man's slippers warming by the fire and supper on the table for when he gets back from work. I know it's all tongue in cheek, but coming from him, it's not funny. It's a real article from the 1950s and women have worked hard to not just be a man's skivvy. To me it's almost as bad as a racist posting something about the rules black slaves should follow.

Can anyone help we with a short, sharp, witty remark for me to comment on his post?

OP posts:
Cwenthryth · 04/06/2018 22:03

Honestly, I’d just unfriend him. But then I don’t use fb and definitely didn’t have FIL on there when I did.

zzzzz · 04/06/2018 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Peanutbuttercups21 · 04/06/2018 22:05

He is who he is

Women in the 50s were not slaves

Just "unfollow" him, he will no longer appear in your feed, but he won't know

Easy

SandAndSea · 04/06/2018 22:08

I think I would just write, Wow!

thebewilderness · 04/06/2018 22:08

Tell him that you find his loyalty to an abusive system impressive.
That you do not subscribe to his belief system and if he cannot respect that you will have to take steps to enforce your right to courtesy and respect from extended family members.

thebewilderness · 04/06/2018 22:10

The excuse that these misogynists are from another culture or another generation is bullshit.
They know exactly what they are doing. They are hurting you on purpose.

BluePheasant · 04/06/2018 22:14

I would ignore the Facebook thing but next time he says something derogatory to you about your business or women in general I would make sure I put him straight!

Glassofredandapackofcrisps · 04/06/2018 22:17

What an absolute prick!!! God I hate men like this and yes you're absolutely right, it's just as bad as racism!

LightofaSilveryMoon · 04/06/2018 22:29

Just go No Contact, immediately. And don't even bother telling him. Just stop all contact with him.
Seriously. I'm in my 50s now. The amount of time I have wasted on being polite to utter boors - older, the same age, younger, doesn't matter - it's still time wasted and bits of my life where my soul died a little.
Honestly, you'll save yourself a lot of time, blood pressure, existentialist anxiety and bother if you just cut him out of your life now, totally.
All the best to you!

VickieCherry · 04/06/2018 22:33

Block/hide him on Facebook, it's not worth the raised blood pressure.

If he says it in real life, laugh at him.

(I also had this FIL.)

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 04/06/2018 22:34

Sounds like my FIL. I'd just ignore the Facebook thing. But when FIL has said sexist things to me, I just turn to DH and say 'I have no interest in dealing with this level of ignorance' (or something to that effect) and leave the room. It's taken about 6 years but he's stopped making stupid, sexist remarks in front of me.

highinthesky · 04/06/2018 22:38

You don't need a comeback. Ignore him and eventually the message will get through his thick head, once he's stopped being so cross that you're not offering him any attention.

highinthesky · 04/06/2018 22:40

Btw employing nine people IS a big deal. As an employer, you have responsibilities and you know it. Shame thickhead FIL doesn't realise its people like you that are funding his pension.

purpleleotard · 04/06/2018 22:40

what a shit

FrancisCrawford · 04/06/2018 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz · 04/06/2018 22:41

Unfollow, or comment how much you like it when your dh has your slippers warmed and your dinner on the table when you come home from work.

Don't let him see it's pissing you off whatever you do.

ivykaty44 · 04/06/2018 22:42

I had a male relative who was a MCP

My parents used to purposely tourment

Mum would give my father cash in front of this relative and declare

Don’t spend all your pocket money at once

Depends how onboard your do is...?

TERFragetteCity · 04/06/2018 22:43

I'd just go 'lol'..

BlueJava · 04/06/2018 22:43

Just rise above it and unfriend him then you won't see his posts.

mimibunz · 04/06/2018 22:46

What zzzzzz wrote, twice! Don’t be afraid to be rude.

Halebeke425 · 04/06/2018 22:47

If it was me I'd just do a laughing face emoji and write something like 'look at this relic! Thank goodness we've moved past this terrible Draconian age where women were pressured into domestic servitude at the expense of their own dreams and ambitions' or something to that effect. Maybe throw in something about how pleased you are times have changed.

Grumpyoldblonde · 04/06/2018 22:47

Really, yes as others have said, dont try to be polite. This is really serious and women should fight against this. It's fucking awful. You have a successful business and employ people, that's a big deal but whatever, it is atrocious language and you need to get angry.

melonscoffer · 04/06/2018 22:48

What about saying. "Your son is man enough to cope with a real woman, that's what he married and oh boy that's what he's got"..
This is just for his benefit. by the way .
I think women are all real women however their day is spent. and that includes the fifties housewives.

ivykaty44 · 04/06/2018 22:49

The world has changed and you’ve stood still

Thank goodness chauvinism isn’t inherited

Grumpyoldblonde · 04/06/2018 22:49

Sorry for typos, it's late and I'm still working on my own little project (global business)

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