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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Universal credit & domestic abuse

404 replies

QuarksandLeptons · 09/05/2018 22:52

Good article in the Financial Times

www.ft.com/content/aaaaf2fa-4c63-11e8-8a8e-22951a2d8493

Brief summary:
10% of the households receiving the benefit are couples. The new system puts it all into one account which means that in the event of it going into the account of a controlling & abusive partner, the abusive partners can end up not sharing the money, leaving women and children vulnerable. There are cases documented of women and children going hungry and not having money for nappies or sanitary items.
Worse, women & children end up being forced to stay in dangerous circumstances because they don’t have the money to leave.

How can changes like these be made to the system without thinking through the real life consequences to huge numbers of women & children? Surely, this would have been flagged up if relevant women’s groups had been asked to comment on proposed changes

OP posts:
Benandhollysmum · 12/05/2018 20:12

They’ll expect you to look for a job for 39 hours a week, or so it says on my to do list and want you to travel up to 90 minutes to work..I’m ok my kids are older but do they seriously expect mums whose got primary school age kids to travel 90 mins? I know they say youll do anything if you are desperate for a job but seriously.this whole universal credit is seriously fucked up(sorry for language) it’s not helping mums at all.

Offred · 12/05/2018 20:19

The same wimmin magic men always expect women to have.... Do everything and look good doing it.

Offred · 12/05/2018 20:28

My personal favourite is ‘take responsibility’....

Rolls. Eyes.

The list of things I am supposed to take responsibility for just keeps getting longer and longer too.

Still waiting for that phrase to be applied to H and XP but given I am supposed to take responsibility for them I’m not holding out much hope...

Offred · 12/05/2018 20:30

I’m even meant to be responsible for their abusive behaviour and for teaching them how to parent.... I was actually told when H EA DD that I should go on a parenting course and teach him what I learned....

Offred · 12/05/2018 20:32

He sat in CIN meeting saying ‘I just can’t cope though’ having not asked for help from anyone and having refused all offers of help from everyone for months and I was the only one sitting there ShockHmmAngry

Offred · 12/05/2018 20:35

But yes, H hates me and is highly PA and EA and XP has BPD and was horrendously abusive but I am responsible for teaching them not to be dicks according to SC.

Smeaton · 12/05/2018 20:38

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Smeaton · 12/05/2018 20:40

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Offred · 12/05/2018 20:42

Social Care, sorry!

fascinated · 12/05/2018 20:43

Yes, I’m not getting the feeling that men are held to account for the children they father. The invention of contraception and abortion seems have liberated men - from their responsibilities! Sex has become completely de-linked from its consequences... the responsibility is now firmly with the woman. So much for Women’s Lib !

Offred · 12/05/2018 20:50

Ah yes fascinated! Because it’s all about choice now isn’t it, all these amazing free choices that women now have!

I’ve thought for an age that hormonal contraception is more about men’s access to responsibility free sex than it is about women’s liberation. But in reality men as a class have never expected to be left holding the baby which is why you have a significant number of abusive men how like to impregnate a woman for control but absolutely will not take any responsibility for resulting child.

Smeaton · 12/05/2018 20:50

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fascinated · 12/05/2018 21:10

Yes that was a good thread a while back about contraception, wasn’t it?

Badgerthebodger · 12/05/2018 21:50

Oh my god. Just so unbelievably horrified by this. Thank you to the brave women (and man!) for sharing their stories. I am absolutely horrified and you all have my utmost respect.

I think it comes back to how can we change this? Which, if any, political party have the desire to make changes (I’m fairly sure I know the answer to that - none of the fuckers). Who do we need to tell? I mean, you’d think the WEP would be on this but I don’t seem to have heard anything about it. I’m just disgusted at the total lack of care. Not everyone can work. Surely to god it’s our job to look after them.

Offred · 12/05/2018 21:56

As I said, I would like a feminist trade union...

HelenaDove · 12/05/2018 23:30

"I’ve thought for an age that hormonal contraception is more about men’s access to responsibility free sex than it is about women’s liberation"

I think so too. The Pill became available in the 60s which was a decade of huge social change but for it to become available then it must have been in development years earlier.................

Was watching Harry Hill at my parents earlier (they had it on) and Professor Robert Winston was on there. HH asked him about the male Pill and RW said it too many side effects like weight gain ,bloating etc. No one seemed to pick up on this though they might have done and been edited out.

Smeaton · 12/05/2018 23:36

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Badgerthebodger · 12/05/2018 23:46

That’s the problem isn’t it Smeaton

Men don’t have any skin in the game if they don’t want to. They can literally make a woman pregnant then walk away. I wouldn’t even trust my lovely DH with it, he is just too bloody disorganised and it would never be as important to him to remember as it would be to me, as he’s not the one left literally holding the baby. Oh yeah, and growing the baby, wrecking your body, giving birth, all of that. Not his problem if he so chooses.

HelenaDove · 12/05/2018 23:52

Thanks Thanks to all the brave dignified women posting on this thread (and man) who have experienced the horrors of UC.

Smeaton · 12/05/2018 23:53

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LangCleg · 13/05/2018 09:21

www.theguardian.com/society/2018/may/12/one-in-five--turned-down-for-universal-credit-rules-too-complex

More awful news. The application process is so labyrinthine and tortuous that 1 in 5 claims break down during the application process.

(For those who don't know - UC is an online process and claimants have to navigate an "online journal" that is supposed to tell them what to do and enable them to interact with their work coach.)

bd67th · 13/05/2018 10:58

@smeaton: Im all for the Child Maintence Service being given more power tbh. Hell id even go as far as to make.it a criminal offence for a parent to refuse to pay for their children.

Im all for a male pill.. but I wouldnt trust any man to actually take it..

A modest proposal: every man and boy aged over fourteen may freeze his sperm samples, free of charge. After a generous amount of genetic material has been collected and dispersed to multiple storage banks (so that failure of any one storage bank doesn't rob any man of their potential for fatherhood) AND that man has reached his eighteenth birthday, he is offered a free vasectomy. He has to consent to the use of any of the frozen samples as they remain his property, and can leave the samples to another person in his will or opt for their destruction upon his death. After the snip, the man is issued with proof of vasectomy valid for five years, and renewed after a five-yearly medical exam to verify that the procedure has not failed nor been reversed.

Result: any man taking up this scheme cannot impregnate a woman without signing forms, so he cannot claim to have been tricked into fatherhood or accuse the mother of lying about being on the pill etc. Women having sex with such sterilised men can ask for the proof and then don't have to use contraception that is so often harmful to our health and prone to failure. Women won't get pregnant without intending to do so because getting pregnant requires a clinic visit, and so no longer need to abort unplanned pregnancies.

As uptake becomes more widespread, women start preferentially dating men who have had the snip, pressuring more men into getting it, and so the unplanned pregnancy rate falls. The only flaw I can foresee is that a black market in fake snip certificates may emerge, so they would have to be tamper-resistant and hard to copy from the outset, and have the snippee's photo on them. Snippees with a driver's licence could have their sterile status added to the licence if they wished.

Of course, MRAs and their ilk aren't lobbying for this even though it would be a mega win for male fertility control as well as a win for women, because they aren't about "men's rights", they're about controlling women, which is what "male financial abortion" (aka a time-limited right to disown a child) is all about.

Ereshkigal · 13/05/2018 11:26

More awful news. The application process is so labyrinthine and tortuous that 1 in 5 claims break down during the application process.

Another deliberate tactic I think.

Smeaton · 13/05/2018 11:58

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womanformallyknownaswoman · 13/05/2018 12:00

I've been pursuing the following - wondering whether there's any human rights lawyers around as according to this 2011 EU Convention on VAW, there are obligations that the UK govt is failing its duty of care in - I'm unsure about the "obligation" here as the wording talks about encouraging member states to adopt - but surely this could be tested in the face of such blatant discriminatory weaponising of welfare by both sides of UK politics against women and in particular lone parents who are/have been targets of VAW. Some extracts are:

[[https://rm.coe.int/168008482e Council of Europe Convention on preventing and combating violence against
women and domestic violence]] Istanbul, 11.V.2011

  1.  Parties condemn all forms of discrimination against women and take, without delay, the necessary legislative and other measures to prevent it, in particular by: 
     – 	embodying in their national constitutions or other appropriate legislation the principle of equality between women and men and ensuring the practical realisation of this principle; 

     – 	prohibiting discrimination against women, including through the use of sanctions, where appropriate; 

     – 	abolishing laws and practices which discriminate against women. 

    

Article 5 – State obligations and due diligence

.	1 	Parties shall refrain from engaging in any act of violence against women and ensure that State authorities, officials, agents, institutions and other actors acting on behalf of the State act in conformity with this obligation. 


.	2 	Parties shall take the necessary legislative and other measures to exercise due diligence to prevent, investigate, punish and provide reparation for acts of  violence covered by the scope of this Convention that are perpetrated by non-State actors. 

Article 6 – Gender-sensitive policies


Parties shall undertake to include a gender perspective in the implementation and evaluation of the impact of the provisions of this Convention and to promote and effectively implement policies of equality between women and men and the empowerment of women. 


Chapter IV – Protection and support Article 18 – General obligations

.	1 	Parties shall take the necessary legislative or other measures to protect all victims from any further acts of violence. 


.	2 	Parties shall take the necessary legislative or other measures, in accordance with internal law, to ensure that there are appropriate mechanisms to provide for effective co-operation between all relevant state agencies, including the judiciary, public prosecutors, law enforcement agencies, local and regional authorities as well as non-governmental organisations and other relevant organisations and entities, in protecting and supporting victims and witnesses of all forms of violence covered by the scope of this Convention, including by referring to general and specialist support services as detailed in Articles 20 and 22 of this Convention. 


.	3 	Parties shall ensure that measures taken pursuant to this chapter shall: 

	– 	be based on a gendered understanding of violence against women and domestic violence and shall focus on the human rights and safety of the victim; 


	– 	be based on an integrated approach which takes into account the relationship between victims, perpetrators, children and their wider social environment; 


	– 	aim at avoiding secondary victimisation; 

	– 	aim at the empowerment and economic independence   of women victims of violence; 

	– 	allow, where appropriate, for a range of protection and support services to be located on the same premises; 

	– 	address the specific needs of vulnerable persons, including child victims, and be made available to them. 


.	4 	The provision of services shall not depend on the victim’s willingness to press charges or testify against any perpetrator. 


.	5 	Parties shall take the appropriate measures to provide consular and other 	protection and support to their nationals and other victims entitled to such protection in accordance with their obligations under international law.



. Article 22 – Specialist support services


. 1 Parties shall take the necessary legislative or other measures to provide or arrange for, in an adequate geographical distribution, immediate, short- and long-term specialist support services to any victim subjected to any of the acts of violence covered by the scope of this Convention. 


.	2 	Parties shall provide or arrange for specialist women’s support services to all women victims of violence and their children. 

Article 23 – Shelters

.	
	Parties shall take the necessary legislative or other measures to provide for the setting-up of appropriate, easily accessible shelters in sufficient numbers to 	provide safe accommodation for and to reach out pro-actively to victims, especially women and their children.