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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Uncomfortable about unisex toilets at work

803 replies

Onlyinanemergency · 08/05/2018 12:05

My workplace is moving to new premises and all the toilets are to be unisex. Apparently the bathrooms consist of several floor-to-ceiling cubicals opening out onto shared sinks. There is then a large window onto a public corridor so that the sink area can be seen from outside the bathroom. There are 3 of these bathrooms, one on each floor of the building, as well as 3 single disabled toilets. The architects have obviously put a lot of thought into creating toilets which are unisex but also fairly safe and private, yet I still feel really uncomfortable about the idea. Particularly about not being given a choice. Am I wrong?

OP posts:
thisparachuteisanapsack · 08/05/2018 17:29

I hate this idea and feel really against it, but it makes me feel bad like people will think I'm transphobic or whatever when I'm not. It's about my right to privacy and to not feel threatened or uncomfortable going to the bathroom.

thisparachuteisanapsack · 08/05/2018 17:30

Personally the thought of someone rinsing out their moon cup in a public sink is very unhygienic and rather gross. I don’t use one and suppose I don’t know how often you need to wash them etc, but if I saw someone doing that in a sink that I was about to wash my hands in I would be quite disgusted.

Why? Do you put your hands in the sink to wash them? Do you drink out of the sink?

thisparachuteisanapsack · 08/05/2018 17:30

As in, in contact with*

Flooffloof · 08/05/2018 17:32

Let’s not forget this is a workplace and not a nightclub, I think some are being very precious about this

You should probably think about different workplaces. Where i work is about 500 men and may be 50 women. The men's loos are disgusting, the women's better but may be because of less usage.
The men write in shit on the walls, wipe bogies on the wall, miss the urinals, toilet bowls and bin, leave filthy hand prints high up so the cleaner has to stand on the toilet to clean, smear mirrors, break pipes to flood the place, leave taps running, gob down the sink etc
What is the cure?
Oh yes separate facilities.

thisparachuteisanapsack · 08/05/2018 17:34

@Flooffloof my old work had a phantom shitter that used to do it in the bin in the women's, so I wouldn't say women are any better really. There was often complaints about left out sanitary towels and blood on the walls too.

Lichtie · 08/05/2018 17:35

What about the vending machines for tampons /pads/condoms?

Does your workplace provide vending machines for condoms... What do they think you're all up to in the office?

TheFallenMadonna · 08/05/2018 17:39

Where are all these men who write in shit on walls employed??

I have seen things like that in school toilets. Where I work now, the student's toilets are like the staff toilets - self contained with a sink, and unisex. Their toilets are pretty much as well kept as the staff ones. And our children are challenging.

clarrylove · 08/05/2018 17:39

Yes it does. My workplace is also a public building with lots of young adults.

ilovepixie · 08/05/2018 17:51

Our toilets are unisex and I've never had any problems. Men do understand periods. Most men do have wives, girlfriends, mums sisters and so on so it's not a complete mystery to them.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 08/05/2018 18:16

Some men understand periods. A great many don't.

I am thankfully done with periods now but for four decades I had to cope with a completely erratic cycle, hourly sanpro changes some days and occasional flooding. By great good fortune at work we had a disabled loo on our corridor, which was a dead end, and no disabled employees. More than once I had to retreat there to wash out and dry my skirt or trousers as best I could. I always had spare sanpro, pants and tights in a bag in my desk drawer but a change of clothes would have been a step too far.

I wouldn't have been at all comfortable doing any of that in a communal loo that men might use. Bad enough doing it in a loo that other women use.

Oh, and on the point of whether menstrual blood should ever go into the wash hand basin - it's unavoidable if you have really heavy periods. No matter how well you try to wipe your hands with the loo paper, it won't get it all. Also there is the occasional issue of rinsing clothes, as mentioned above.

Onlyinanemergency · 08/05/2018 18:25

Thank you for all your responses! I think the change is largely due to cost cutting but I would think the gender fluid, trans thing comes in to it to some extent. It's not currently relevant in my workplace but I think we would be aware of which way the wind is blowing. This isn't the issue for me - more all the reasons other posters are suggesting.

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thebewilderness · 08/05/2018 18:28

As long as males shake their penis and fling urine all over the walls and floors instead of wiping up their dribblets the unisex loo will always stink of urine the way the men's does.
Every story I read about unisex toilets reinforces the that the intend is to drive women out of the public sphere. A window in the washroom for observers? What fresh hell is this?

Onlyinanemergency · 08/05/2018 18:29

I think my main query was whether I would sound unreasonable or pearl clutching by raising this at work. It seems that while not everyone would be bothered by unisex toilets, plenty would be.

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AssassinatedBeauty · 08/05/2018 18:30

@ILikeMyChickenFried no, I don't suppose many women go to the sinks with blood all over their hands. But it is often not possible to remove it all with tissue, hence the need for a thorough hand wash.

My point wasn't that women would be going to the sinks dripping with blood. Just simply that the sinks will have some amount of blood washed down them regardless of mooncups.

Loandbeholdagain · 08/05/2018 18:33

To be honest I’d be no more or less embarrassed doing those things (washing bloody hands etc) in any communal sink unisex or otherwise. It would be so much better for everyone if the sinks were in the loos.

AlecTrevelyan006 · 08/05/2018 18:34

Man here - I hate unisex loos

kktpj · 08/05/2018 18:37

Are your house toilets unisex?
Males need to learn how to live in a unisex world

AllyMcBeagle · 08/05/2018 18:37

It seems that while not everyone would be bothered by unisex toilets, plenty would be.

Definitely not unreasonable to be bothered, and so far we've only talked about the embarrassment of periods, without touching on miscarriage etc. - not a frequent occurrence but it does happen and would be bad enough in a women's bathroom, but worse in a unisex one IMO.

thebewilderness · 08/05/2018 18:45

Are your house toilets unisex?
I was surprised to discover how many people in homes with more than one loo do sex segregate them.

Juells · 08/05/2018 18:49

@PoulaFisch

My workplace's staff toilets have been unisex for 39 years. I've yet to hear of anyone vociferously complaining. It's just the norm.

Are they large individual rooms with sinks? If not I suspect you just haven't been listening. Or are you a man? Not asking to be rude, but that would be a reason why you wouldn't have heard anyone complaining, as men don't mind.

Pratchet · 08/05/2018 18:50

This is very bad for women. Male colleagues and bosses can be sexist bullies and harassers. Imagine being alone in the loo with your male bully or harasser.

Bowlofbabelfish · 08/05/2018 18:50

the intend is to drive women out of the public sphere.

Yes I think it is. There will be a huge impact on women from certain faith communities as well.

Pratchet · 08/05/2018 18:51

Yes - started a miscarriage in a work toilet. Transactivists are cruel to remove privacy from women.

AssassinatedBeauty · 08/05/2018 18:54

The question about home toilets is irrelevant. You don't share your home toilet with work colleagues, etc etc. Just those that either live with you, or specific people that you've invited into your home. Plus it's a single enclosed room with a sink inside, not cubicles with sinks outside.

I agree though that men need to learn how to use toilet cubicles properly, if they aren't currently doing so. It's not acceptable for an adult (or a child much past potty training!) to leave a shared toilet filthy.

OP, would it be possible/practical for a section of the toilets to be separated by a partition to make a women's single sex area? Or at least they could put frosting on the glass wall for some amount of privacy.

Fifi5000 · 08/05/2018 19:18

I’m pretty sure health and safety regs state that there must be single sex provision. If you tell your employer they are breaking the law you might be able to squash the whole thing without getting into a debate about men being messy and women having periods.