Men in feminism.

[Jeanhatchet]

They are invariably a distraction at best.

We are taught to accommodate their needs and they are socialised in turn to feel entitled to us feeding them with both food and knowledge.

I have seen too many "nice" ** men .... y'know the "good" kind .... the "my man is different though - he gets it" kind hang around and place themselves at the centre of feminist circles with the end result that women spend time stroking their gigantic egos and falling over ourselves to bash women who won't.

Then.... they begin to offer themselves as goddamn experts. Also - I've seen lots of abusers hoppety skippety around women in this way.

Men who want to be better men can just go away and do it. Women have written enough about how they can do this. In fact I'm sure some man saw a woman blog about it and then rephrased it better. The men could go and find his stuff probs.

Exactly

Men who claim to be feminists do it for perceived access to pussy. And opportunity to mansplain.
I've seen it in Acton.

Acton. The centre of meminism.
Action.

Absolutely.

We don't need to see your 'credentials' you are not a 'professional' when it comes to relationships, childcare and housework.

Please do not stand to demand praise for washing the dishes.

Men can be allies, but I’ve had too many mansplain feminism to me for me to give them too much notice.

If you’re not a part of an oppressed class, the most you can be is an ally to that class as you’ve not got the life experiences or social conditioning of that class, no matter how supportive to their cause you are.

@Opheliah You're totes barred from Acton now 😂

Yes, DH, has always been very clear that while men can be allies they cannot and should be part of women's and feminist organisations because they end up taking over.

I always used to feel a bit unsupported tbh but now I see that he is absolutely right!

Male allies should be listening to women, get a grounding in feminism and the issues (without demanding women explain it to them), then go out into the world and challenge other men on their sexist/misogynist ideas and actions.

The dudes that hang around feminist groups, just hanging out for the cookies/sexual action - nah, not worth the time of day, particularly when they almost all get to the point of: 'feminism - yer doin' it wrong'. Thanks, no thanks.

Men should be actively sorting the mess that is toxic masculinity instead of hijacking or starting threads in how better to understand women.

But most men are educated to the same level as most women and don't need this explaining to them.

DH is an example of a 'proper' ally. He does the bloody dishes, parents his child and listens to me rant without feeling like he knows more. He also supports/promotes women in his workplace and doesn't call himself a feminist.

A breath of fresh air after dating brocialist wankers who would tell me about feminism while borrowing money and not cleaning up after themselves. Oh, and they were mostly shit in bed.

I'm of the view if we want change we need allies, none of the many male allies I've encountered declared themselves as feminists. I think the TRA take over of feminist groups and agenda demonstrates that women have to retain control of the organisations and restrict access to men however they describe themselves 🙁

Nothing sets my teeth on edge quite like a bloke I meet saying he is a feminist - it reeks of male entitlement mixed with cowardice and misogyny. It almost stinks like a feverish sweat.
I smile politely while staring straight down the tunnel to the future where I see exactly how it will all pan out.

Justin bloody Trudeau.
Patting himself on the back with one hand whilst swiping away recognition and rights of the female sex with the other.

I'm a bit pissed off with the Fawcett Society for their fawning over him last week, given the huge damage he's just inflicted upon women's rights in Canada.

Muchly feminist, Justin.

Just bookmarking this thread. It sums up perfectly what I’ve always said; men aren’t wanted or needed within feminism. We should keep out and let you get on with it.

Preach.

Men can be allies, but never feminists.

This 100%!

Men should be making the sandwiches while women are feministing.

Late to the party but I've seen it in Acton

I no longer trust any man who claims to be a feminist.

At best it indicates they have absolutely no real interest or understanding of feminism.

This.

VaggieMight
Years ago I read about a feminist meeting which asked all the men in room to leave. At the time I felt strongly that this was the wrong approach, but now I get it.
This^^

LangCleg
Men should be making the sandwiches while women are feministing.
And this^^

In Acton!

Men who want to be better men can just go away and do it.

Exactly.
Which is why they get short shrift when they come here to JAQ off.

Men who claim to be feminists do it for perceived access to pussy. And opportunity to mansplain.

Now change feminists to women ……

I feel another post coming on

As others have said, they need to go and explain feminism and how to do it to other men, not to women.

Never met a self-proclaimed feminist man who wasn't an absolute misogynist bell-end.

‘Men need to explain feminism to other men...’

This surprises me. How will we know what to say? There isn’t one flavour. How is this not appropriation? I can’t see a man lecturing anybody about feminism escaping criticism.