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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Excellent article on the problem of transphobia

473 replies

crispbuttyfan · 30/04/2018 15:30

www.huckmagazine.com/perspectives/opinion-perspectives/mumsnet-transphobia-online/

"Regardless of intention, it seems to me that Mumsnet has allowed transphobia to become associated with their brand through their inaction. These boards have now become nothing short of echo chambers, spaces in which anti-trans rhetoric is continually employed with little objection."

The evidence is apparent throughout the feminism board.
Where lies are spread with abandon and the truth is slandered as 'gaslighting'.

OP posts:
GurlwiththeCurl · 02/05/2018 13:29

Another lurker on this thread. I have been on MN for years but hardly ever post. DS has degrees in Biochemistry and he was laughing his head off at some of the pseudoscience on this thread. Huge thanks to the real scientists who can explain the issues properly. Huge thanks to all of the GC posters who discuss so effectively. I wish I could join in, but I am not articulate enough. There must be loads of lurkers like me who follow the GC threads on MN.

AssignedPuuurfectAtBirth · 02/05/2018 13:43

There are LOTS of lurkers, which is why the TRAs are trying to shut mumsnet down. @MNHQ Flowers - I know you are getting a load of shit thrown your way at the moment.

This thread is evidence of the intelligent debate on this subject and thanks again for hosting and facilitating debate

OrchidInTheSun · 02/05/2018 14:10

Yes, thanks @MNHQ :)

Mumtobe25 · 02/05/2018 15:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BeUpStanding · 02/05/2018 16:01

If you need to talk to someone:
www.samaritans.org

AssassinatedBeauty · 02/05/2018 16:06

This organisation has a free helpline for anyone working in education:

www.educationsupportpartnership.org.uk

I would say that students say things that they don't actually believe in order to get a reaction from friends or from teachers. The vast majority grow up to be tolerant and kind. Those kinds of statements need challenging and unpicking.

Bi11yOneMate · 02/05/2018 16:19

Most secondary teachers I know don't refer to the students as children incidentally.

And in my long teaching experience (chemistry to A level, physics to AS) students say shocking things for all sorts of reasons - derail a lesson, wind up a teacher, wind up a classmate, test the limits of acceptability etc. Don't take it personally - teenagers are too caught upon their own problems most of the time to consider the real impact of what they say.

I suspect they've found your button and are getting busy pressing it.

lightthedarkness · 02/05/2018 16:26

Goodness Mumtobe25 That's an exceptional amount of appalling comments to hear in one day. I don't know what your role is, but if you're a class teacher then please ask for help from senior management. That type of comment is totally unacceptable and there is no place for this during lessons.

Please get some support from your school - nobody, adult or child, should ever have to listen to such things - they are 'excludable' issues so you would be taken seriously. Also, the staffroom on here is a place where lots of teachers get support with behaviour issues.

And maybe step away from this thread? Sometimes online is not the right place to be if you're feeling so stressed.

TheElementsSong · 02/05/2018 16:28

In fact, I've always thought stepping away from the entire Internet would have a salutary effect on people's mental health in general.

^^

AssignedPuuurfectAtBirth · 02/05/2018 16:35

MumtoBe

Your arguments did not stand up to scrutiny. You will get your arse handed to you on MN if your arguments don't stand up to scrutiny. I have limped away with arse in hand many times, I can assure you.

It helps if you reflect on the feedback. Noone bullied you, you engaged in robust debate, this is how it operates.

But obviously if you find it too much, then you need to take a step back. I think you should probably speak to someone about the way you are feeling, and certainly, if you feel like this as a result of entering discussion, then that's something you need to think about backing off from

I hope you feel better soon and Flowers

Bi11yOneMate · 02/05/2018 16:35

Oh yes, what lightthedarkness says - racism etc should trigger serious behaviour management consequences and not be tolerated in lessons. I assume you have some sort of behaviour management staff handbook/guidance?

Mumtobe25 · 02/05/2018 16:36

AssinatedBeauty
This isn't in my head though. I wish it was It would be easier if it was. I don't know why it's all just sticking in my mind at the moment I guess with all the recent windrush stuff just this fear we're back sliding. I just I have no idea what's going on... they're Canadians for God sake they're part of the bloody commonwealth. It's red cross week next week in form time I told the kids about the charity efforts to help the victims of grenfell... apathy indifference to tragedy... Their help in getting medicine to victims of war men women and children... Half of them didn't even know wars are going on right now... I asked them collectively if you take your rights for granted what if they're gone one day? They answered... what rights? The constant misgendering of one of the trans teachers I know.

I feel like the world's gone mad there are people that genuinely need help out there and what's our response stick on eastenders and make a cuppa we bought with make believe money that spirals into trillions of make believe debt.

I just can't stand it anymore I genuinely feel lost supporting lgbt POC and other minorities, feminism is suddenly a bad thing?

I feel like everything's balancing on a tightrope ready to crash.

And to top it all off I think I have imposter syndrome sometimes I just think who the hell am I kidding wanting to be a teacher throughout it all if I can't even do that right considering everything else I just mentioned why even try?

Bi11yOneMate · 02/05/2018 16:37

Oh yes we've all had our arse handed to us at some point. Don't underestimate the rigour of debate on here! But yes, it was just your arguments that were refuted, not you. Again don't take it personally. :)

SwearyG · 02/05/2018 16:39

DERAIL DERAIL DERAIL DERAIL DERAIL DERAIL DERAIL DERAIL

Bi11yOneMate · 02/05/2018 16:41

What year group is your form? Don't forget some may well have been cushioned from the harsh realities of the world.
It's always easy to find ways in which the world is getting worse - good news doesn't make headlines!

Bi11yOneMate · 02/05/2018 16:42

Ah yes. Sorry

Lancelottie · 02/05/2018 16:42

You teach Canadians? Or was that a typo for Caribbean?

You do sound stressed (and I shall assume that this is your authentic voice rather than the rather odd down wiv da sisters hun xxx act from earlier) - I'd suggest you step away from it all, stop trying to solve the whole world's problems, and get out for a damp walk for a bit.

We all feel like imposters half of the time.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 02/05/2018 16:47

Take some time out! It sounds as though you are trying to be everything to everybody and are in danger of losing yourself!

Which of those things are important to you in you every day life - the most basic bit, earning a living so you can eat and live in a warm dry house? Ignore everything else and concentrate on getting those core things right, comfortable, doable!

All else, charity, lgbt, feminism etc, they are the sort of things you can only spend time on if your core needs are being satisfied.They are luxuries, if you will.

If you feel like an imposter and that teaching is not currently your string point figure out why? Have you tried to run before you can walk? Are you biting off more than you,and your students, can chew?

I used to mentor (well, more like 10 rounds of verbal MMA on a daily basis) a very cocky, arrogant young man. An NQT who knew absolutely bloody everything there was to know about everything. He made my working life an anxious misery, I have no idea what it was like inside his head!

He had a very slight grip on some topics and instead of parking them, getting me to teach them until he was comfortable with his string topics, could teach all the wizz bang wondrous stuff today's classroom requires, he fought tooth and nail to teach his weak topics and then blamed everyone else for his failing.

If you even suspect you may be doing one iota of that STOP IT and find a colleague you can do some team work with.

Don't let it burn you out... I speak from bitter experience!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 02/05/2018 16:48

And now, best advice given, consciences salved, can we get the thread back on track please?

lightthedarkness · 02/05/2018 16:48

Mumtobe25
One last suggestion. If you try to have unplanned discussions about sensitive topics like Grenfell, war, human rights, sexuality etc with teenagers then you will get thoughtless responses. These need proper detailed planning to keep everyone safe.
You get the behaviour that you plan for. As previously suggested, head for the staffroom on here for some collegiate support and in school tomorrow you need to report what has happened as those comments are completely unacceptable.

LangCleg · 02/05/2018 16:51

I did say betcha.

FermatsTheorem · 02/05/2018 16:57

If the poster above is genuine, then may I suggest that the Samaritans may well be a more useful place for them to get help and support than an online forum.

If they are not, well, shame on them for using something straight out of the abuser's handbook: "I can't take it any more and it's all your fault."

BeUpStanding · 02/05/2018 17:01

Can we get back to the science please? I'm not entirely sure where we'd got to, other than the collective love for all the female scientists, especially Bowlofbabelfish.

FloraFox · 02/05/2018 17:02

I have limped away with arse in hand many times, I can assure you.

Grin assigned we've all been there.

Mumtobe25 do try to get some support at school from more experienced teachers. Teaching is very hard and starting out in any profession is also hard but you might be able to find strategies to develop more resilience.

AssignedPuuurfectAtBirth · 02/05/2018 17:03

FermatsTheorem
I think the right thing to do is to advise professional help and many of us have done so. I don't think it would be a correct to advise further to that given that we are not healthcare professionals.

We can only enter into a debate in good faith and I think that was the case here.