What made you a feminist?

[MipMipMip]

I've copied my post over from another thread, hence the trans elements (Although it was trans that led me down the rabbit hole.)

I would be really interested to know what people's lightbulb moment was? I think knowing that may help attract other people. Thanks.

I was not into feminism. I was into equality, fairness for all. Not pushing men aside and demanding more and more. All this business about men have a better deal is nonsense, we're in GB in the 21st Century. Equality is here, sure women won't get promoted as fast if they're missing time to have maternity leave but when they are there they will.

I read a few threads about the trans issue. Of course trans people should be able to change where they want! They've had ops to get rid of genitalia, they must really feel they are women and are in a bad situation so yes, I'll pretend.

Then I started to hear a few fact. That for many it was a turn on to dress as women and toinvolve unwilling participants in their fantasies. The numbers who don't seek any medical help, let alone transition. The ones who are wearing their teenage daughters clothing and getting aroused (ifanythingabout your teenage daughter or their belongings gets you aroused there is something very wrong). The crime rates staying the same post transition.

Then there was what was being demanded. Access to women's prisons. Ignore safeguarding. Rape centres and refuges no longer being sacrosanct.

I started hearing instances. A woman going for a smear, requesting a female nurse and being told the man identifies as a woman. A man going into a refuge claiming to be a woman and raping people. Another going in a refuge and when women objected the women being kicked out for being transphobic. A woman questioning being punched. A woman being made to lie in court about gender. A man leading a hate campaign against a women's officer then taking her place. #NoDebate. Meetings to dicuss this being shut down. Police involved for stating facts. Employers called for people disagreeing. Endless endless abuse on Twitter.

So trans did not mean what I thought it meant and these are not people I want in my space.

I started seeing how privileged I am. I have not been raped. I have not been assaulted. I have not had a violent relationship. I have not been obviously used or missed out on things because of my gender.

I had to think of my #metoo moment. I remember it because it was funny (would it have been had I been alone?). How many have I forgotten?

I started to realise that men did have advantages. That a men's pill was developed and scrapped because it had the same side effects women put up with. That when a child is ill it is the woman expected to miss work to deal. That male privilege is real, that the effect is there even if it's not obvious. That men think women dominate a conversation if they speak for 30/. That things really are not equal and even here, in GB in the 21st century, things are not fair and there is a fight to be had.

There are a lot of things happening right now. Knowledge of FGM. Rapes in India. #MeToo. Rotherham. But it was these boards, with the mix of voices, full of facts and arguments, personal experiences and shared stories, that brought be to this very angry point. I don't like having my eyes opened. But they needed to be and sadly I learn more to horrify me everyday.

I am a feminist.

Thank you ladies.

Always called myself a feminist but in hindsight it was a pretty vague identifier as I had lots of those sexist ideas about not being like other girls / women and not being affected by sexism.
Motherhood and an awareness of my own biology (as well as help from this forum!) made me into a real feminist

I've been a feminist since childhood but various experiences have reinforced or altered my feminism.

In primary school- not being allowed to wear trousers. Being pushed or chased by boys and being told by teachers to 'just stay away from them then".

In secondary school- sexually active girls were called slags but there was no equivalent word for boys. Being pressured, by a teacher and in front of the whole class, to shave my legs and armpits.

On becoming a mother- the assumption that I would know how to look after a baby and a house better than my partner would, and would therefore do all housework and childcare while his life remained relatively unchanged.

On becoming a single parent - watching ex partner continue with his education and career but being unable to do the same due to caring responsibilities. Realising that my career and earning potential had been permanently damaged but his had not. Learning that the CSA consider £15 per week to be an adequate contribution from an absent father.

I came to radical feminism as a result of

• Working a series of low-paid, typically female dominated jobs and realising that they are low paid because anything considered to be women's work is devalued.

• finding out about the phrase 'cotton ceiling'

• an epiphany where I realised that the grooming, sexual harassment, sexual assaults and rapes I experienced as a teenager were not a series of unfortunate events, but connected and resulting from a society which privileges men and devalues women.

never your last paragraph puts it so well. i too thought it was a "series of unfortunate events".

I have always had feminist beliefs, however I did not know I was a feminist until I was called a TERF. Looked up radical feminism and yeah, fits me perfectly.

I actually used to think the radical meant extremist. And also (embarrassingly) that feminists were all angry man hating dungaree wearing hairy shouty women. I bought into the media lie, basically.

I could have written your post OP. Identical story here. In ituntil the bitter end now!

I think subconsciously my Mum just raised me to be a feminist, despite having older brothers I was never treated differently by my parents or made to feel that I was 'just a girl' and couldn't be on the same level as my brothers. Despite my uncle once proclaiming I was the 'son' my parents never wanted, and watching my aunts and grandmother treat my brothers differently because they 'didn't like men' so I would get spoilt for holidays and gifts and they'd receive nothing.

I think the lightbulb moment really came though when I started high school and a young man took an instant liking to me and I wasn't interested, so he spent the next 3-4 years relentlessly stalking and harassing me, I had to get his number blocked from our telco to stop his incessant calls, I'd have to hide my backpack to stop him leaving 'gifts' for me, I had to block his emails from the vile threats he would send about me and my friends and worst off everytime I complained and raised this people would just respond 'Oh you should be flattered' and 'It's just an innocent romance' - like no, it was harassment of the highest order.

I ended up having to print out all the 'evidence' and lay it bare for my parents to show them it was serious and violent and they took me to the police to get a restraining order out on him as the school weren't interested to intervene in the slightest.

Suddenly I was a pariah, I had head teachers calling me into private meetings during lunch to interrogate and intimidate me into dropping the restraining order, I'd get things like 'What if he kills himself, it'll be your fault?' (eh, no suicide is definitely a one sided decision kkthanks) and 'What about his right to an education?' 'What about his friends?' 'What about his future employment opportunities, he won't be able to join the armed forces or travel' etc.. like no one was teaching him that actions have consequences, instead my experience was being minimised into 'overreacting' and being an 'hysterical teenage girl'.

The whole thing ended with me changing schools, losing my friends, getting sick as stress exacerbated other health concerns, it impacted my grades, I had to home school, then I had to choose a Uni about 5 hours away from my home town just to feel 'safe'. It's something that has hugely impacted how my life turned out and I often wonder how my life could've been different if I'd just given up.

Funny thing is, if the roles were reversed I doubt any of this would've happened, but then I don't have this sense of entitlement that just because I like a person that they must like me back or else.

All this drama because a young woman wasn't interested in a young mans advances and she bore the brunt of the punishment.

Datun made me a feminist

Mumsnet and realising that being a feminist didn't mean one exact thing, that I can be a feminist and still disagree with other feminists.

Being brought up by parents who subscribe wholeheartedly to traditional gender roles, and who very clearly preferred our brother to my sister and me, started me off noticing that "it's not fair" and questioning why. I was reading Germaine Greer at 15, but I understand her better now (I think).

And now I've had 20 years of adulthood and every day I experience or become aware of further injustices.

I'm a feminist trapped in a woman's body.

When I read the phrase 'Women have very little idea how much men hate them' in the Female Eunuch.

I was a teenager and suddenly lots of events and feelings and treatment started to make sense. It wasn't just coincidence. All this 'stuff' was happening for a reason. The penny dropped.