DARVO, coercive control etc

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

I've seen these mentioned on a few thread here, as tactics used by MRAs in particular, to derail threads etc. I'm aware that these are tactics used by male abusers, and as such are distinct from the usual sea lioning, straw men etc?

I know there are a lot of knowledgeable people on here, and I was wondering if any of them would feel able to speak some more about these.

After a quick Google I am not really very much wiser, and I'd really like to stop get sucked into what other users spot immediately

There is a lot of minimising of and refuting women's opinions on the park run threads. Seems that some people are of the opinion that you have no right to feel competitive at park run not take note of the stats and placing a park run send out.

Reminded me of this thread.

Ex was a classic needs evidence sort of person. He did eventually learn the hard way after dismissing my advice.

Bumping to get Ereshkigal's excellent explanations at the start of this thread back on page 1.

Ok, so if we are aware of these various trolling tactics, we can spot them, and realise that further engagement is futile, as these people are not actually interested in anything apart from themselves, certainly not in listening and learning.

But what would the most productive response be?
Simply ignoring? (Which doesn’t feed the troll, but leaves them free to ensnare others?)
Stating that you decline to engage further due to XYZ troll tactics (Risks coming across as accuse and flounce?)
Or tackling troll directly on their approach and continuing to engage
them, but on your terms - addressing their disingenuity and keeping discussion on topic? (Might feed the troll, but makes it clear to lurkers what they are doing and has the best chance of preventing complete derailment of the discussion?)

If a thread is started by a troll and isn't likely to lead to a worthwhile thread, tbh report, and if outside MNHQ mod hours get the night watch to squash it.

One of the reasons for documenting the rules of misogyny is because they are useful for naming the behavior of a troll.

I am finding this illustration of DARVO extremely helpful in identifying the disingenuous, also. "I'm not hurting you! You are hurting me by saying I am hurting you."

It reminded me of an ex who got upset with me for saying ouch when he stepped on my foot.

cwenthyrth I like the trolling them back approach best. Those threads can be really funny.

They sometimes spend the entire thread slurping from the delicious chum bucket of outrage when we refuse to engage and chat about bees and recipes.