It was acceptable in the 80s

[Tinlegs]

Need to feel a bit more positive about progress. And a laugh. (Or a shocked gasp)

What was acceptable in the 80s if you were at school / work then (Or 90s etc, just liked the title)?

I went to an all girls' school (mostly boarding) on the outskirts of London. Things which were acceptable:

We were regularly flashed while playing rounders on a pitch near a public footpath. A class of 30+ girls and one female teacher and everyone just shrugged. No police, I am pretty sure.

Our Board of Governors was all male and the Chair once openly expressed surprise that girls were studying Maths.

We wore prefects' badges which staff instructed us to pin as close as possible to our shoulders when a certain male Governor came to visit. He liked to examine them closely and touch them, while pinned to our chests.

In part time jobs:

Silver service waitressing involved being trained (by a woman) how not to drop gravy and turkey on a guest if another guest surprised you by putting his hand up your skirt.

There are loads more.

Any of these now would have involved police (and social services). We just accepted it (wrongly) and tried to laugh it off.

The police not charging my stepfather for breaking DM's jaw.

A sixth form teacher joining in when the lads talked about my breasts. Another taking a shine to me (just >this< side of legally appropriate but creepy as hell).

A customer in my cafe joking I must be on my period. I was seventeen.

Oh. And a 40 year old married teacher started a relationship with a pupil and, while he lost his job, he was not prosecuted.

Teachers being very touchy feely with female pupils. Male teachers obvs. One used to come over to 'inspect' work, he'd put his arm around us and his fingers would be just touching the side of our breast.

Another teacher would go along the desks and deliberately knock pencils etc off the table, he'd duck down to pick them up and look up the skirts of the girls. When I was in his class I'd have been around 13 years old.

onemorning So sorry. Bloody awful times. Not 100% sure those things have improved at all.

It just seems now like we didn't matter. At the time, I think I failed to be shocked enough. But then I was a child.

• Another one where and teacher and pupil had a sexual relationship and the police weren’t involved

• Girls in my all girls school not being allowed to wear trousers/shorts or short socks. Was skirts and long socks or tights

Am a teacher too. Worked with male colleagues (early 90s) who openly talked about girls' breasts and legs.

Another all-girls' school here. Gym teachers (female) used to make us show them our knickers to make sure they were regulation school ones. Ugh.

I watched the 40th anniversary rerelease of Greace the other night. Absolutely full of things that I'd hope would never be acceptable today. ("Tell me more tell me more, did she put up a fight?", Looking up skirts for a laugh, smoking to be cool, grouping until the girl runs away.....).

Also, from school, pinging of bra straps is not something DD has had to deal with :)

Definitely male teachers being too touchy feely with female students, I remember in year 4 routinely being placed on my teachers knee if I was in trouble - about two years later it came out that he was a paedophile, shocker.

Cyber bullying, I was stalked and cyber bullied in year 7 (1999 I think..) and it went on for 4 years before anyone (including the police) took me seriously to allow a restriction order on the other kid - these days I’m sure there’d be a go fund me page or FB diatribe outing the scum fucker.

Being catcalled whilst in school uniform.

Having to make a detour to work to avoid builder asking you to suck his cock. (pre considerate-constructors’ era)

Being told by teacher that girls and boys took different subjects because girls weren’t as clever.

Not seeing yourself reflected on TV shows or movies except for the love interest who only appeared for a short while and didn’t have much character.

So many things!

Using the police controlled zebra crossing outside my school, fairly unusual even back then!! My bum being felt up by some pervy man, aged about 14 or 15, hitting him back, and then getting told off by the same policeman "that wasn't very nice" - and no! he wasn't talking about what the man did

Oh and having to answer the register in swimming using the word "usual" if you had a period.

I think the progress made is mostly face value. Laws are in place to stop the cases highlighted but it seems when one fight is beginning to get better another one takes its place. Todays children are much more sexualised at an early age. Girls are encouraged to be whatever the want to be whilst simultaneously being reinforced that being pretty and playing with dolls is what they really are. Boys are viewing girls through a porn view lens, that no matter how much a parent believes their child is being monitered on the internet they really are not. I feel really sorry for my daughter in the current climate. The positives is there are some really good role models coming through. But I am not sure if my 80s as a child/ teenager World is any better or safer than today’s. The other problem is we only have the information that today’s children give us. Give me a child hood without social media any day.

One of the boys in my class had an affair with the art teacher - everyone thought he was great!

Girls not being taught Calculus as we wouldn’t understand it.

Working with someone who used to sniff my chair (found him doing this when I came back from lunch early). Also used to run his hand up my legs when I was leaning over the desk.

Male chemistry and physics teachers who openly resented teaching girls and said they weren't cut out for sciences.

Same physics teacher forcing girls to change in front of him if wearing the wrong uniform (on his own, in his office). I refused and he harassed me for years until my dad cornered him and said he'd have him to deal with if he so much as breathed within 20 yards of me.

Girls not being allowed to do woodwork, metalwork or technical drawing.

My face is just at reading this.

Actually, things haven't changed much, I agree.

DD's Maths teacher (female) told the class they would struggle with a topic unless they had a "boy brain". The teacher said she had this mythical brain but not all females are as fortunate.

In 2018!!!

My experiences came from the 90s but at my school male and female teachers were having sex with pupils and going out drinking with them. No one was ever prosecuted or sacked.

I played truant from PE and the truancy officer asked me if I didn't like PE because of having large breasts (I was a c cup). He also told me I smelled nice.

My science teacher, regarded as a perv, sucked his middle finger moving it in and out of his mouth whilst I was speaking to him about homework when I was 13.

The shop keeper and his friend making comments about my bum when I bent down to pick penny sweets when I was 12.

'Asked out' by men in their 30s-50s even when I told them my age from age 11. At the time I was confused by it and knew not to tell my mum, but looking back and realising those men were paedophiles is sickening.

I went to an all girls school. So missed a fair amount of these sorts of thing as it just wasn't tolerated.

Though we did have a flasher for a while, but the police sorted that.

At my all girl school late 70s/early 80s we had a male school Dr and we had to pull down our bra for him to listed to our chest (my female Dr at home didn't require that) and then we had to stay with our bra still down while we went up and down on tip toe with our eyes closed supposedly for him to check our balance...unbelievable! All this with a female nurse there watching. At my sister's school, they were checked for breast lumps...teenagers! That was never acceptable, I am amazed no parent blasted them.

90s - Saturday job when I was at school, had to clean men's toilets while they happily came and pissed next to me.

Same job - sexual harassment from the chef. I was a young teen.

I went to a bog standard mixed comprehensive in the 1970s. I don't pretend that it was perfect, but it wasn't bad compared with the experience of other posters.

Girls did woodwork and metalwork as well as needlework and cookery. Similarly, boys did needlework and cookery. Girls couldn't wear trousers, but I don't remember that anyone ever tried to look up our skirts.

And we all covered calculus for O level maths.

Not sure what went wrong!

Kyanite

My friend's male GP used to 'examine' her breasts when she went to get the contraceptive pill. He told her there was still time for them to grow. She thought it was normal until she mentioned it years later to friends.