"Not All Men"

[MonsoonMama]

I'm quite fussy with my friendships and like to think I choose my friends wisely. So I was pretty horrified when I downloaded my personal phone contacts to my Twitter account this morning and it threw up 2 pretty unpalatable accounts, both clearly men - one using a pseudonym that was full of cock shots (his own), and the other an anonymous account that incessantly trolls people, mainly about Brexit but there's also some nasty misogynistic stuff in there too (e.g. rape only exists when it's a stranger in a dark alley and the woman is visibly hurt and can prove it; upskirting and harassment are normal everyday occurrences that silly women should suck up etc etc). So these 2 accounts belong to men I know and liked (I have only friends and the odd very trusted plumber/painter in my personal phone contacts). I'm really quite floored by this and it's really making me think that all men are the f@@**ing same, even the "nice" ones when they think you're not looking...

People aren't asking that men "rescue" women, they're asking that men challenge their friends on sexist talk, particularly when it's of a sexually questionable nature. So, less swooping in to sweep the damsel in distress up in your manly arms, more pulling up your mate Steve when he makes a joke about shagging a woman who's passed out drunk.

Yeah

What angry said (better)

#TGLWGH

I thought my DH was a nice man. He calls himself a feminist. I have finally had to realise that he behaves like an old fashioned partriarch, who makes all the decisions, no matter how detrimental to me, and always has a reason why my views and opinions can be discounted.

I thought my friend was a nice man and feminist. Then he congratulated himself on not 'making his wife pay all the childcare costs'.

I thought another friend was a nice lefty empathetic man. Then he complained about women crossing the street at night if they saw him and how that insulted him and they shouldn't do that.

I thought another friend was a nice man then he described a tv character, who repeatedly cheats on his wife, leaves her alone to look after their autistic child, and brings danger to her home by mixing with criminals and gangsters, as a 'good husband'.

It is depressing really.. Mind you, plenty of woman have dodgy opinions too. Such as the female colleague who said women can't be raped if he doesn't have a weapon, as then they could fight him off.

Such as the female colleague who said women can't be raped if he doesn't have a weapon, as then they could fight him off.

Great, so if a man a foot taller than me attacks me then I'll just ask him to hang on a minute while I go find a chair to stand on so when I'm fighting back I can reach higher than his mid chest?

Exactly Angry. My jaw drops at such stupidity.

The women who said that, maybe she's just a bit dim (?) - however a lot of women engage in "magical thinking" - which often has the result of victim blaming. They tell themselves that "it wouldn't happen to them" as they would/ wouldn't do XYZ.

Of course it's rubbish as sadly the only constant in rape is the presence of a rapist, and it's down to luck whether he comes across your path and whether or not it's in a situation where he can attack you.

Most women cannot fight off most men. Is she including children in this? What about a 7.5 stone teen vs a 15 stone rugby player?

Maybe she is a nasty piece of work, more likely she is lying to herself, the truth (it's all down to luck) is way too scary.

Oh well done MNHQ!

Magical thinking is definitely part of it. If I just do all the right things, carry a lucky charm, and chant the correct incantations every day it won't happen to me, the woman thinks.

She's wrong, but maybe it makes her feel better.