This seems a really odd thing to post, I'm sure. But it's been eating at me for a long time. Im 38. Everytime I read an article about rape, I wonder if i was a victim. Was I?
When I was 15 i was taken on a French exchange by my mum, to stay with a French family she had known in her youth. The boy, my exchange, and i, didn't much like each other. He was 2 or 3 years older than me. One evening the family had a party and we drank lots. He took me back to his room for a cigarette and I just felt so ill, after all the alcohol, I just wanted to lie down. I tried to fight him off, and eventually gave up, hence my question. He had sex with me and I was disgusted and just too weak to bother fighting. I made it back to my room a few hours later. I told my mum what had happened and she said I was being a fool and that she had fought off his father at the same age. The next morning I had to have breakfast with him and his family. I felt beyond terrible, speaking no French really, I stared at my plate. We had to spend the rest of the week there, and I feel that from that day my confidence was robbed from me. Am i being melodramatic? I've never bothered to bring it up with my mother again as she got so angry with me. I was drunk but awake. I could have fought harder. Was i raped or was i just weak??