Enlightening article on 'whataboutery'

[Nightmanagerfan]

‘Whataboutery’ comes from a place of misogyny. An arrogant, derailing technique used to respond to a campaign, video, research study, intervention, organisation or communication that screams ‘I don’t care about women, talk about men!!’

I wanted to share this as I found it enlightening. The author has run a project helping vulnerable men and never been criticised for excluding women. The same is not the case for her work with women, when she has experienced abuse and criticism from all sides.

victimfocus.wordpress.com/2018/01/03/stop-asking-me-what-about-men/

Excellent article, thanks for highlighting.

Just read this, it's excellent but so bloody depressing.

Agreed. The explanation that women are socially conditioned not to expect things to be about them was poignant. Heartbreaking and anger inducing that men complain out of a sense of entitlement

I've really noticed lately how prevalent "whataboutery" is.

Article about encouraging young girls to believe they can enter ANY sort of career when they grow up - "but what about boys?" (this was a woman).

News story about estimated number of men in the UK with a sexual interest in children - "but what about the millions of men who do not?" (this was classic whataboutery, from a man).

I can never respond to it convincingly and eloquently because it makes me so angry

That's the best article on whataboutery I've ever seen - bookmarked.

Because the absolute knockout punch is that here is a woman who works, separately, in really important mental health issues and the aftermath of abuse for both men and women, and people never say "what about the women" in connection with her work with men.

I was just coming to post this. This should be pinned at the top of this board so we can just 👆to it without any other comment each time the whataboutery appears on a thread usually 1st or 2nd post in

That is a fantastic article.

Great article - and she sounds fantastic!

Brilliant article. And yes, utterly credible given that she has both sides of the story to tell.

this is a brilliant article but I agree that it is also totally depressing

Great article and thank you for sharing it with us.

It reminds me of the cries of what about the men when people remark that it's International Women's Day. I remember one (male) politician tweeted back that every other day is International Men's Day.

That’s a fabulous article, thank you for posting.

It's also very much worth reading Jessica's work on educational/school materials about CSE. All on her blog. Shocking stuff.

So true.

I have worked most of my life in shelters, prisons, with ex-offenders, in homelessness and housing 90% of the time in all-male or majority male environments. Not ONCE has anyone asked where female ex-offenders are housed for example. Literally not once in decades.

But mention a women's shelter or refuge and the arseholes are out in force.

This was great

Thank you for this.

Thanks for the heads up, Lang - I've just followed up those links, and they are utterly shocking.

Short synopsis: the current recommended (by non-psychologists) practice in schools seems to be to show kids basically horror movies of sexual abuse scenarios which heavily victim blame them - shown to children who haven't experienced such things, thus prematurely sexualising them, and children who have been abused, thus further abusing and traumatising them, and leaving them feeling that it was in some way their fault. All with zero evidence base to show that this is an effective strategy in reducing child sexual exploitation, and with considerable evidence to suggest that it is traumatising and probably in and of itself constitutes a form of abuse. (As in, you wouldn't show a TV drama with this sort of plot line to your 12/13 year old at home, but apparently some people have decided that so long as it comes under the guise of educational intervention, it's fine to show them in school).

PricklyBall - I read her posts about that and was utterly, absolutely, floored. And of course, it's all so obvious if you take even a moment to think about it. And I had no idea these materials are so widely used.

Very good article. It articulates the frustration and offers an articulate response.

This is awful. I would love to know who the academic was who left her abuse. Shameful.

Fantastic example of whataboutery:

twitter.com/stellacreasy/status/948687635261911041

That hashtag equality thing really does ruin it for other men though.

CuddlyPanda Thank you for that link.

Whataboutery is very common in my world. I am involved in lots of research projects. The one that explores young men self harming is usually greeted with - oh, I thought it was only girls who self harmed, good job this is being explored. The one looking at suicidal ideation in girls is often met with - but suicide is much more of a problem for men and young boys, shouldn't more be done for them!

MsBeauJangles that is so depressing to hear.

CuddlyPandy - that link made my blood pressure go up I can tell you!

I explained whataboutery to my husband last night, and he got it as a concept, but the bit he struggled with was the idea that men approach everything from a sense of entitlement - what about me - whereas women don't. He doesn't think that he fits in with that stereotype. He is all about equality, supports the feminist cause etc (I wouldn't have married him otherwise), so his lack of grasp of the issue just hammered home for me how much of a struggle it is to get men to understand.

Brilliant