Something potentially very important regarding sex Ed in schools

[Ekphrasis]

I had no idea guidelines hadn't been updated since 2000. I am quite shocked. Mobiles then were the Nokia 3310s which held about 10 texts and were black and white. And teens wouldn't have had. I still wrote on a black board in School and had occasional access to an ohp. Now screens are everywhere. And the internet, social media etc...

I'm obviously concerned that this is something that is 'got right.' I believe it should also include clear guidelines for primary schools also.

I actually can't believe I recently advised an acquaintance that her developing daughter should absolutely be getting changed for pe in a separate room to the boys in year 5. But I'm not sure there are actual art in stone guidelines on this, hence the School didn't do this as policy ( small rural School).

Anyway, something I thought some would appreciate being aware of.

Sexting to online porn: What should sex education lessons cover?www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-42398911

I saw this and was about to start a thread. Will see if I can find a link to the consultation exercise (if someone else doesn't beat me to it).

Things I'd like in there:
Consent, consent, more consent.
Understanding that coerced consent is not consent.
Understanding that paralyticly drunken acquiesence is not consent.
Understanding that you're allowed to say no.

That sex should be mutually pleasurable - mutually. No coerced anal sex. No sexual positions you find painful.

That sex should be fun and enjoyable for women too.

That no trumps yes, every single time.

That you don't need to change your body to meet someone else's requirements - no need to preen, primp, shave, have mutilating surgery.

That if anyone tells you you should change your body this is not a good person to be in a relationship with.

That if anyone says "you would if you loved me", this is not a good person to be in a relationship with.

That porn is (a) not realistic, (b) often not consensual (c) even when it's posted "amateur porn" you have no guarantee that it isn't revenge porn and (d) that any porn which suggests you should get turned on by violence against women is wrong (I'm thinking particularly of men who get turned on by fantasies of raping or otherwise harming women - these are bad men; I realise women's sexual fantasies of being "overpowered" are a more complex thing).

I agree. When I have a bit more time it's potentially something I'd like to attempt to contribute to.

I would like something that helps to challenge gender stereotypes.

While I agree with your points, surely you can't leave all that to the school? The school can cover the basics, but you must discuss these things with your DC yourself.

Not necessarily. Cast in stone and less experienced and knowledgable teachers have to comply. Resources get written.

Seriously, take a look at TES forum threads on things like gender roles (the bbc girls and boys doc for example) and you realise not all schools 'get' what's needed.

Prickly ball should be writing a national sex Ed policy and the government and ofsted should be ensuring that schools deliver it.

misscph1973 yes parents should, but for this children who don't get those messages at home the school should most certainly be delivering.

Some kids' parents are very young themselves or from backgrounds where abuse or sexism and misogyny is normalised and simply don't have the awareness to pass on.

I second that WTAF!

Completely endorse Prickly's list.

Prickly has already made a more comprehensive list than Justine Greening

I agree with everything on prickly's list, but i heard on the radio this morning that transgender issues will also be covered and that the lesson will become compulsory. I'm all for children learning about consent, i think it's desperately needed, but i'm worried about them being tough regressive stuff about gender roles without me there to counteract it.
Up until now i thought i could at least opt them out of that lesson.

*taught.

There are some very good independent charities who are delivering Prickly's list and some. This should be their time to shine.

One of my friends is an educator in one such charity, the issue she runs in to time and time again is schools who like what they have to offer but can't afford to pay for the sessions. When schools are tightening the purse strings, SRE is often one of the first places they look to cut money from. You could argue that teachers could deliver the sessions themselves but I think SRE deserves to be taught by people who are specifically trained to teach it.

BonjourMinou Agree with Prickly and you. I would add please dont tell children they can change gender

I nominate Prickly for the job of Sex Education Adviser to Schools

Actually, please tell children that they can't change sex. Small children believe their teachers. Even some teenagers genuinely think you can become the other sex (not gender).

Apart from that: consent; mechanics; safety; consent; childbirth; consent; contraception; mutual enjoyment; and stopping if not everyone is enjoying it, aka ongoing consent.

Lancelottie
Actually, please tell children that they can't change sex
Of course. That what I meant. The conflation of the two is so common that Im now doing it myself!!

I thought that was what you meant, but it does seem worth being pedantic about this one!

Homophobia. It's not just getting thumped because you're holding hands in public with your girlfriend, it's also being told that your genital preference is a fetish and if you try hard enough you'll enjoy sucking dick.

The idea of a "sex change" has led to kids (and possibly adults, but I've only seen children/teenagers say it) thinking that this is literally possible, and not only will result in a change of sex, but a fertile change.
As in, a transperson will begin to produce the opposite sex gametes.
The accuracy of this needs to be spelt out in very short sentences.

Apart from that addition, I'm voting for prickly's list

Again, this is where consent is so so important. No means no. I would hope that all this 'try hard enough you'll enjoy sucking dick' stuff could be begin to be blown out of existence if kids were taught very well, and repeatedly about consent.

I'd also, as we're making a long list of "shoulds", add on the fetishisation of lesbian sex.

I second the nomination Persian!

Beyond, I would on my wish list, include links to basic human biology and reproduction taught in science.

I second the nomination Persian!
I hereby confirm that the post of Sex Education Adviser to Schools goes to PricklyBall

Congratulations

Great thread. Yes agree to Prickly being nominated!

Sooooo how do we enter into this consultation? Write to Justine Greening? I am also very interested in making a real contribution as this is just so important for our kids.

I think it will be interesting to discuss the science being taught and the terminology - yet again, another place where the trans activist agenda is going to fall down. The government surely cannot send such mixed messages as self-id is fine but then teach real science - as I hope they realise.