You can't be a feminist if

[PleaseDoTellMeAgain]

"Because you've had one night stands"...

Why can't YOU be a feminist?

Ops second post quite a few before yours says lighthearted at the top Assassin

Yes, but it wasn't in the op. My question was lighthearted.

Pallisers, different people have different opinions (like many things!) on whether men can be feminist or not. I'd say not, but my DH describes himself as feminist so

You can't be a feminist if you eat meat.

Bacon or defeating the patriarchy, tough call.

I remember saying I was a feminist once when I was out to dinner with work friends (all male) they all laughed till they were crying. I managed to get out them why the idea I was feminist was so incredibly funny

It boiled down to I wore skirts sometimes, had long hair, I liked men and had a baby.

I was quite taken aback to be honest - but it was a useful indication as to what people think the term means.

Apparently I can't be a feminist because I support trans people.

Pidlan, I often see people saying the exact opposite ‘if you don’t centre transwomen in your feminism, your feminism is trash’ is a common one

Support trans people to do what?

I changed my name when I got married (and use Mrs). I am a trailing spouse without a job. I dye my hair, shave my legs and wear make up and high heels.

I am quite happy being a Bad Feminist

Bad Feminist would be an awesome tattoo.

Can't win SlowlyShrinking.
Assassin Generally! I have a good friend who's trans and lost another friend because of it. I get that it's a complicated issue and it's a shame there's such a lot of hatred on both sides.

Ah yes "my feminism will be intersectional or it will be bullshit"

What I do see is people analysing a particular activity, and readers taking it personally. To use the meat one, I have seen
"The dairy industry is by its nature patriarchal, females are raped and abused for their product"
Followed by
"OMG, I can be feminist without being vegan"

Umm, nobody said you couldn't
(Note - in case it needs saying, I eat meat)

Really don't think many if any feminist women hate trans people. But seeing as having any gender critical discussion is considered transphobic by definition then I guess that's the justification for the "hate" comments.

I actually adhere to lots of the negative stereotypes attributed to feminists so nobody has told me I can't be one. Nobody looks surprised when I say it! They seem happy to accept I'm a bolshy unshaven man-hater.

Anyway, back to shopping for dungarees...

Genuine question - you can't be a feminist if you are a man? Is that part of the definition?

As I understand feminism, yes. Just like a white person can't be a black activist. Others disagree with me, but plenty agree.

I cant be a feminist because I sometimes wax my pubes off but I MUST be a feminist because I wear massive ugly granny pants. Both from my 20 year old goddaughter

I would consider my husband a feminist - he certainly acknowledges the patriarchy, sex-based oppression and male supremacy.

Good. That makes him an ally, not a feminist. We need more of them.

That's an interesting way to look at it, ally rather than feminist.

I don't necessarily agree because it would go against what feminism means to me but it's a clever way to put it.

I think that women are able to make their own choices even if that means getting married young and promptly having children, changing my name upon marriage and, being a SAHM.

Personally, I don't think it matters whether men call themselves feminists or allies. What matters is the behaviour that is underneath -which in both cases could be considered feminist-aligning or misogynist.

I’m a Catholic SAHM.

Tbf though only internet people have implied to me that being religious or staying-at-home is unfeminist. My RL friends are much less black and white in their thinking.

Rookie mistake OP. You should have put 'lighthearted' in the title you heathen

I know. Bad Feminist!

Because I have long hair and wear skirts. Because I like Game of Thrones. Or because I decided to work in a low-paid, typically 'women's work' field instead of having a STEM career or something. (Yes, I know that last choice wasn't made in a vacuum, but class had a lot to do with it too and it doesn't make me unfeminist!)

Men can be pro feminism but they can't be feminists.
Just like one can be pro a paraplegic movement that fights for paraplegic equal rights but unless you are a paraplegic, you have no right to call yourself one, just an ally to them in their fight to achieve equality.