Boys and their mothers

[Ava6]

I don't have a brother so I've never observed this in action. I sincerely wonder: how early do boys start understanding that they were born into the high caste of humans while their mothers belong to the low one? How do they reconcile this with being totally dependent on an 'inferior being' and her being the most important person in their world for a long time?

I know that this starts happening really young in the really partriarchal environments. But what about the secular 1st World one?

Stay and play, Basilisk. Don't believe the Travellers Tales from the faint hearted..gf.....

I don't know about you but I'm a goddess. I think you may have forgotten.

Thanks Bertrand

I just might.

I don't know about sons but I remember when I realised I'd been born into the sucky class. It was when whenever we went to other people's houses it would be the women tidying up and cooking whilst the men relaxed and chatted.

Acknowledging that people contribute in equal but different ways

That's so true Basilisk. My mum was a SAHM but my Dad always appreciated the work she did. You see so many threads here where the OP or the DH thinks that breadwinner = main contributor = more power. As if the wife is sitting idle at home.

My brothers hated their father, much more so than I did (and they also took care of me and believed all their sisters).

They are all divorced. Never remarried. Two are now in relationships, one of those is being abused by his partner, regularly. They just didn't get the wife work thing.

My friend (sahm with a doctorate) was discussing careers with her son (what he wants to do when he grows up) and he asked her why she doesn't do anything. She said 'I take care of you and your sister' and he said that wasn't a real job. I thought this sort of thing was quite common. I can't remember how old he was at the time, maybe four or five?

Ifyou - I had a very similar job to DH & gave it up for family reasons ( and one of us had to and DH was better at it and it made sense , not because I was wife) DS when he was small ( and to be perfectly honest it did get me a bit when I had to not be a financial contributor - my problem , no one else's ) having come back from a maths lesson said - Daddy is income - you are assets . I may have had something in my eye at that point.

& assets was not patronising

My friend's daughter said aged almost 3 "daddies go to work, mummies stay home".

I feel really anxious about trying to protect my ds from the misogyny in the world. Since before he was born friends have told me (in the nicest possible way and smiling the whole time) that because he's a boy I can expect him to be lazy, aggressive and destructive. He is none of those things but I'm astonished by the number of people who explain away their own sons aggressive and destructive behaviours as being part of their gender and therefore to be expected and not sanctioned. I find it so hard to thinking of letting him go out of our home into the big wide misogynistic world. 😦

Daddy is income - you are assets . I may have had something in my eye at that point
That is so sweet

basilisk

I agree with Quentin

Sounds like a lovely child

Ds2 at aboit 5 told everyone that 'daddy goes to work to play golf'

What is interesting is how even when presented with evidence to the contrary, gender roles / stereotypes win.

So with little kids, even when the mum works outside the home, whether full time or part time, you will hear the kids say "daddies work and mummies stay at home". It's like the stereotype is so strong it over-rides what's in front of your eyes.

Like we went to look at cars yesterday. I drive rather too quickly I'm sorry to say and DH is slower and considered. When it comes to colour / fancy interior we are the same and also with gadgets. He is more interested in things that help you park.

So we always sort of challenge what they say - like if they start talking about speed to DH he says ho ho you need to talk to my wife about that and when they start talking about carrying shopping I say ah yes that's something my husband will be interested in. But they still follow the script - men are interested in engines (DH knows nothing about engines), performance, price (as they are paying). Women are interested in safety (children), colour/design and how much shopping it will fit.

Why are these stereotypes so strong? And so silly? I mean obviously men are interested in the children being safe so why is this a female only concern in a sales pitch?