Sometimes I despair...

[theliterarycat]

... and wonder if women will ever be seen as equals.

When in the same week I hear of perfectly seemingly normal male friends who don’t think their wives should drive across Europe. Or believe that they are not fit to get a driver’s licence. And think it is so selfish to end a marriage when unhappy or admit that it would have been better if wives did not work and stayed at home so they could get important jobs like all the other blokes who were making the dosh because had sah wives and did not have childcare or read to their children after work. Same men who now sadly widowed feel how brain dead can be being home but still believe it would hsve been ok for a woman because of the higher goal.

These are not openly chauvinistig men. And yet... and fucking yet... still we are here. Still at the point where men still take it for granted that they will decide and judge which weight to carry and which position to take in society. And tell us where we should be and what to do for the “easier runing of things”. And call us selfish for deciding to think with our own heads and chose different paths.

Oh fuck off!!

(Apologies for the rant but had to vent before going to bed as it was eating me inside.)

@CountFosco. It is obvious that your managers are totally in the wrong in asking those questions and in their actions, THAT should be referred to equal opportunities or whoever. A question though. If your managers had been women, do you think you would have been asked these questions and would you have been properly supported in your wish to progress?

I personally don't understand the concept that equality means a half and half split of all labour..

I think the trouble is, that when people suggest that the system is broken and we need a new system - others assume that we mean everyone will have to follow this system regardless of personal circumstance or personal preference.

That's just fucking stupid.

Of course if you want to stay home you can. Of course if you personally find raising children much more fulfilling than a professional job, and your partner is in a position to support that - you can do it.

But why the fuck does that mean that we can't start from a point of equal division of labour? Everyone grows up assuming they can have a career and a family, but they will take a career hit when the kids are young (men and women) and then if that doesn't fit your personal circumstances - don't do it.

It is the inability to imagine that something different could work, and that a new system doesn't have to be enforced like some Stalinist totalitarian policy, that truly depresses me. Equal division of paid work and domestic labour as standard is a culture shift - not a fascist dictat from above! But it would mean that women are not bearing the brunt of ongoing never ending domestic labour/ career sacrifice/ loss of earning potential and subsequent financial dependence. Loss of financial dependence then means women have to accept shitty behaviour from their husbands, if their husbands so choose, because the alternative is penury and homelessness. This system is not OK. Even if it works in your personal circumstances, and you would remain free to choose it, it's not OK as standard!