Ian Duncan-smith says unmarried men are a problem for society

[QuentinSummers]

m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/uk_59d3b8f9e4b04b9f92054af5
Seems to me there are undertones that women should be controlling men better.

Also quite a lot of blatant sexism such as men who aren't married develop "low value for women" which suggests to me that the value women hold is intrinsicly linked to their chastity/marriageability to ID'S

Interested to hear what others think because I'm being a bit inarticulate on this.

Feminism has to focus on women. Or it loses its way.

What could I do to combat those things? What can I do about domestic abuse? I can not be a domestic abuser, and if I suspect anyone of being a domestic abuser I can report them to the police. I suppose I could give some money to a dm shelter charity but I really have very little money atm...what should I do?

And neither am I expecting to to solve my problems. What on earth can you do to solve homelessness or poverty on your own? Nothing much.

The question is more if women are in the position of power to change things, what sort of things should they do to create a more equal world?

It would be quite difficult to separate extreme male poverty and extreme female poverty and prioritise the latter. How would you do that?

It's not just about not being a rapist or a domestic abuser. It's about challenging attitudes. These men aren't going to listen to women. They might listen to you.

To be honest I think women need to focus on ourselves before sorting out the world's problems.

Are you expecting us to tell you what to do John? Because that's our duty, to do the work for you?

You commented that what I said wasn't nice then said women don't have to be nice. So why lecture me about it?

Yes that's another thing men don't think about, how much burden falls upon women not just to do all the shitwork, but have a plan and motivate others to do their fair share, a frequently fruitless and demoralising task.

OK, if someone says 'fucking ell I'm gonna get that bit of skirt drunk and have my way later' then I will lamp them or call the police. I have always challenged shit like that, and once had to prize a female friend of mine away from some piece of shit who was trying to drag her out of a club to a taxi, half passed out with her heels dragging.

However, I don't go out anymore and have little contact with other men, or anyone much. I work, I come home, I read, I watch a bit of TV, I go to bed. What am I supposed to do?

Do you challenge dodgy misogynistic comments?

Men always put their hands up.and say what can I do? When you see what women have done despite having no status, money or power, it makes men look pretty useless.

Well you could recognise that men as a class don't generally give a fuck about women they don't know (or in many cases the women they do), and stop lecturing women about how they choose to navigate an unfair patriarchal society.

I would suggest that not sucking all the energy out of a thread on a feminism board and refraining from shoehorning walls of text about pet topics might be a start.

Kudos to the quality of the responses, though.

When I say 'what can I do?' I genuinely mean I have no idea what sort of thing I could do to reduce rape or DM in our society other than the obvious things I have suggested. Give me an example of one thing I can do?

You could listen to women and consider their experiences instead of telling them they are wrong. That would be a practical thing you could do. Little things like that are important.

No John, I will not do your thinking for you no matter how much you ask. If you give a shit about women you can at least make the effort of thinking of one thing on your own. Or do you just not give a fuck?

I thought you volunteered in a food bank?

Hang on, if women are talking about their experiences of rape or sexual trauma or male violence I will listen. But no one has been talking about those things on this thread.

You can't seriously be suggesting that I have to passively agree with everything a women says for no other reason than she's a woman? Apart from anything else, that infantalises women into delicate little things who just have to be listened to and are incapable of engaging in critical debate.

No John, I will not do your thinking for you no matter how much you ask

That means you can't answer the question - because there isn't an answer to it.

yes, I do volunteer in a food bank. I don't think as man they'd let me volunteer in a rape crisis centre - and quite rightly.

Furthermore, I'm not very well and do all I can with the resources I have.

I was asking because you said earlier you just worked and went home. But you don't, you also volunteer, so you have interaction with people there.

If you genuinely think there's absolutely nothing you could ever do, what do you expect women to do about anything? Are we all just helpless? Who's going to create this fair society you want so much?

Of course I'm not suggesting that you have to agree with everything a woman says just because she is a woman That's not what I said at all.

People in power create our society. I don't have any power, and I will probably have any power until I die now. If you women do gain some power, I am all for you - however I would quite like you to do something better with it than the men have done with theirs.

Does that make my position clearer?

So you have no intention of doing anything yourself, you just want other people to what you say? Sounds very familiar. How do you think some who didn't even have the power to vote achieved what they did?

Sorry that should say 'how do you think women...'

What am I supposed to do? I have chronic ill health. I have no money.

You seem to be affronted with what you assumed to be my suggestion (which I didn't make) that I expect women to sort out my problems; and yet you expect me to sort out yours?

I can't have a career in politics. I can barely get a job at Tesco's.