Men DO treat women worse than we treat them on the whole!

[TitaniasCloset]

Ok this is the first thread I have ever started on Mumsnet, and I know I'm dealing with a bunch of clever women in the feminist section, I'm just kind of average, and I have been drinking too, so hey ho...

I'm just so sick of these horrific stories so many women have about their men. Half the time it takes the Mumsnet massive to even make clear to them that they are being oppressed.

Today we have two story lines going on, the mum who went on holiday and had to come back early because her ex had thrown all her stuff out and was trying to reclaim the children's home despite having a few options of where to live. Also a young mum who has accepted that being a sahm means she will be broke and have to beg for things, like her car.

Now I know there are nasty women out there, and I know we as women have our various faults, but you don't - you just DONT hear this shit in the same scale as women and children suffer from men.

Recently was asked by a very mild mra if I hate men, I said yes! He saw this as proof of all sorts, but seriously if any other group had to put up with the shit I have had to because of abusive men, well, they might be a little pissed.

So why are we pretending that there isn't a huge fucking problem just to come across as nice?

If men are more likely to vomit like 95% of violent crimes then surely this tells us an awful lot about them and their capacity to be fucking ruthless. So why are we being sidetracked by theNAMALT brigade? Because apparently an awful lot of fucking men are like this.

Do a survey, think of ten women you know and think about any problems they might have had with men. Sexual abuse, rape, domestic violence, financial abuse, etc Then look at the women you know and think of the right fecking bitches, it will be less, their crimes too will likely be less unless you work for the prison service.

Commit not vomit!

Recently was asked by a very mild mra if I hate men, I said yes! He saw this as proof of all sorts, but seriously if any other group had to put up with the shit I have had to because of abusive men, well, they might be a little pissed.

Your "very mild mra" obviously hates women much more than you hate men, he just doesn't admit it.

I view love and hate more as attitudes, not so much as feelings. (That'd be "in love" and "angry", respectively)

The Christian "love thy neighbour" doesn't mean you are required to like everyone - as that's clearly impossible - it means you should treat everyone the way you treat people you like.

Men treat women like their enemies. Whether they actually feel hate, or openly say that they consider women enemies, doesn't really matter, does it?

So why are we pretending that there isn't a huge fucking problem just to come across as nice?

Indeed. The scale of male violence against women and girls is huge. The number of assaults on women and girls even by men unknown to them, purely for being female, is horrendous. The vast majority of course scarcely make any news - I often see an instance I think is worthy of starting a thread on but if I did about every one which even makes news I'd be starting threads constantly about them. Recently, there have been a couple of cases (just ones which have been reported) of girls (14 and 17 years old) being not only assaulted by one man but then being assaulted by another man unconnected to the first attacker on the same evening. This is all even without going into the number of women attacked and murdered by men known to them.

It's horrific, as is the deflection and derailing which is all too commonplace when anyone attempts to discuss it anywhere.

I assumed you meant vomit and liked the usage! I agree with you too. There's an incredibly depressing thread in relationships where the op claims her bf rolls her over and comes in 30 seconds. Basically he just fancies her so much he can't help it.

Not that he doesn't Give a shit and uses her like a wank sock.

It's easy to see what you want when the alternative is being depressed about everything and being one of those "man hating feminists".

Also, the "not all men" line, aside from being derailing (as no-one says all men are like it), don't help in any way as there's no way for us to tell apart the men who are willing to assault women and girls (which as shown by cases such as those girls being attacked by two separate men in one evening is far too many anyway) from those who aren't. It's just a way of avoiding the issue and putting the onus on women to emphasise it's "not all men" rather than the men who wouldn't do such things to challenge male violence and the attitudes of other men.

The biggest danger to women is men. Not every man but men generally. While that remains true I don't think there's any reason to shut up about it.

There is a short story you might like called "Sultana's dream". It was written in 1905 by a Muslim feminist woman and is about a feminist world where the men are heavily controlled /locked up a lot due to the fact they cause most problems.

Sultanas dream? I must look that up.

Thank you all of you. Sometimes I think I'm going a bit mad. We have to pretend they don't hate us when clearly they do.

I concur Nonibaloni. The lives of women and girls keep being taken by men, for no other reason than our sex, not to mention the other attacks inflicted upon women and girls by men.

AfunaMbatata thanks for the suggestion - I've just looked that up and it sounds an excellent read.

But we love them so! We are willing to be submissive and run around cook and clean for them, try so hard even to please them in bed and we make so many excuses.

In turn, if a woman steps out of line, is not a perfect mother etc she is harangued for life and even her own children think it's ok to disrespect her whilst still asking for the world. Such different standards we are held to.

I still have anger towards my own mother, rip who went through extreme domestic violence and died indirectly. Yet I have forgiven my father on the whole.

And the need to be thin and beautiful, well that's just a whole other way of punishing us. No one is shocked when a boring mediocre man gets a fabulous woman.

That's just my story. Many women have their own.

But I have noticed we have started giving big gold stars to men who just do the fucking basics, and run around saying oh no men are not bad because we have men like you!!!

Meanwhile if a woman fucks up, there is no mercy. We are held to much higher standards even from childhood and I can remember being sexually harassed by the boys in school as I hit puberty young, nothing was done about it, I wasn't helped or protected.

TitianasCloset.

I can empathise with and understand your righteous anger on this subject. It's infuriating.

Empathise with and share*

Anyway, I'm here now to say that if you get an arsehole bloke, no amount of being pretty or a good little submissive woman will save you from his evil, so you might as well just be feminist to fecking start with. You can make him all the breakfasts you want, dress up pretty, even put your children's needs aside for him, I know! I did it! If he is going to beat the shit out of you he will do anyway.

And it's not the way we bring our boys up that's the problem, even my arsehole exs had good mums, it's this poisonous society we drop them in where they sink or swim and how they are mollycoddled from birth by it - schools etc

I love you women on here I really do. I'm so glad I found you all. This is why I joined Mumsnet, this page. I'm not terribly brainy like some of you, but I truly appreciate you all xxxxx

No love thank you

Not at all Titanias. Also, you articulate all this excellently - many vital points made.

Thank you!

You hate all men because you've had bad experiences with some men? Is it ok to hate women if you've had bad experiences with them? How do you know that guy was a mra? Is he an activist?

Behold, a man has arrived.

daddy89997 the op isn't saying she hates men just because she's had bad experiences with them. Open your eyes & look around you. Read a newspaper. Who are the perpetrators of the majority of crimes, crimes against women? Even crimes against men?

Just crimes, really. Who are the main perpetrators of crimes?

Precisely jux

Yes behold.

Oh dear God it's just too fucking depressing. I made a video about it and put it on twitter. Dunno how to share it here so I suppose my identity shall remain somewhat vague.

You read my posts and come up with that? Ffs

If anyone wants I will give you my twitter address.