Men DO treat women worse than we treat them on the whole!

[TitaniasCloset]

Ok this is the first thread I have ever started on Mumsnet, and I know I'm dealing with a bunch of clever women in the feminist section, I'm just kind of average, and I have been drinking too, so hey ho...

I'm just so sick of these horrific stories so many women have about their men. Half the time it takes the Mumsnet massive to even make clear to them that they are being oppressed.

Today we have two story lines going on, the mum who went on holiday and had to come back early because her ex had thrown all her stuff out and was trying to reclaim the children's home despite having a few options of where to live. Also a young mum who has accepted that being a sahm means she will be broke and have to beg for things, like her car.

Now I know there are nasty women out there, and I know we as women have our various faults, but you don't - you just DONT hear this shit in the same scale as women and children suffer from men.

Recently was asked by a very mild mra if I hate men, I said yes! He saw this as proof of all sorts, but seriously if any other group had to put up with the shit I have had to because of abusive men, well, they might be a little pissed.

So why are we pretending that there isn't a huge fucking problem just to come across as nice?

If men are more likely to vomit like 95% of violent crimes then surely this tells us an awful lot about them and their capacity to be fucking ruthless. So why are we being sidetracked by theNAMALT brigade? Because apparently an awful lot of fucking men are like this.

Do a survey, think of ten women you know and think about any problems they might have had with men. Sexual abuse, rape, domestic violence, financial abuse, etc Then look at the women you know and think of the right fecking bitches, it will be less, their crimes too will likely be less unless you work for the prison service.

Daddy if all MRAs were 'activists' as you put it, they would be a lot more visible and we'd know to avoid them. Sadly most of the perpetrators of crimes against women are cowards, and hide beneath their respectability and privilege.

Not all violence against women is visible. Much of it is invisible and insidious. I say this as a woman of 50 something who has been in 2 seriously abusive relationships, and is still suffering physically and emotionally because of them.

When we ask for equal treatment, we aren't asking for anything special, we aren't asking to be treated better than men. Your reaction to this post pretty much sums up what the OP is trying to say. We can't even have a dialogue about this without some bloke getting all huffy about the subject. Bit near the knuckle is it?

Some woman cheating on you or just generally taking the piss out of your generosity, cannot even begin to be compared with the centuries of oppression, degradation, humiliation and subjugation that women have been, and still are putting up with. We're still being judged on our looks, our mothering skills, our 'fuckability' and basically, just the fact that we dare to exist.

Yes, we're fucking angry. We're also sick and tired of this shit and of being accused of misandry just by speaking the truth. But let's not let facts get in the way of your male entitlement.

Oh god I love you, my cardigan woman. You put it so passionately so perfectly!

I don't care if anyone links my videos, in fact that might be useful with my latest one.

I hope I don't regret this tomorrow!!!

Women get beaten the shit out by men all the time, why are we so shocked that trans slap us about too?

I'm an owl like you you're fine.

I'm an owl like you you're fine.

I'm definitely an owl.

Aww - I'm blushing now TitaniasCloset Thank you for your kind words.

I'm still up because I work nights in a hotel and am a chronic insomniac. I do some of my best thinking when most mere mortals are sleeping

I'm passionate because it's something that I believe so strongly in. I owe it to my daughters and my granddaughter and all of the women that follow on after us.

Women have fought and died for the rights we have now. We can't afford to take our eyes off the ball, not even for one second.

Yes we have. And lately it's all going to shut and young women just don't even realise.

Ok how do I report a post to Mumsnet? I don't want that post with my twitter address up anymore but can't report on my iPhone!

I've followed you on twitter and reported your post to MNHQ to get it removed!

Just another voice saying hear hear. Have felt this way for years. I don't read much of the feminist boards as I get too upset at the state of the world, but loved your posts OP.

I feel like it's getting worse. Or rather, than young men used to be marginally better than older men? But now they are all educated by hardcore porn and consciously or not, do not see women as equal humans. Also seen a regression in terms of what women will put up with, what they aspire to etc. Or maybe I just notice it more now? My peers from secondary school gave up all their ambitions to be little wifeys. I'm shocked but maybe should not be.

It's like they are actually choosing to be 1950s stepford wives when they have more opportunities now than ever? But maybe that's unfair on them. It's socially punishing to do otherwise, and bloody hard. The fetishising of motherhood via Instagram etc doesn't help. Am noticing this so much more now friends are in their 30s and having babies. Dads blithely stay at work like nothing's changed. Women get screwed over on maternity leave and just accept it because it's too hard to fight. Discrimination is alive and well.

On the topic of porn - Gail Dines of culture reframed is excellent at explaining how its influence has hijacked progress for women.

titania Yes!!!!! Love your passion! And cardigan amazing post too. I was feeling a bit downhearted after the "white women" thread but this has perked me up again. Thank you awesome women

The fetishising of motherhood via Instagram etc doesn't help

Through my sisters and sisters in law I see this. I see 3 women who are on a fairly equal footing with their partners, despite having kids, who roughly share the load, who have access to the same money their partners do, and I see 2 women, the women who've had pinterest weddings, who post carefully staged pictures on facebook, both of whom are in hugely unequal relationships, with kids that they are always responsible for, and with a husband strangely possessive of the money he brings in, despite not giving those women a realistic chance to earn their own.

I don't know what it is that's causing it - if they were already inclined down the wifey route and use these stepford wife like ideals to get their sense of achievement (I can completely understand this - everyone needs to feel like they're doing something), or if this desire for the perfect life has lead them down this path and now they're stuck. I know my sister is just trying to make the best of what's in front of her - she loves her kids, and wants that floaty (imaginary) housewife ideal, but doesn't have the money to do it, so she does what she can - I do think that she's been heavily influenced by social media, she has a degree for goodness sake, but strongly believes that she should be this perfect housewife and home for the kids, so she lives off what little money her husband assigns her and makes the best of it

Massive generalization you've got there OP.

I don't think it's a matter of hating men, it's a matter of being disappointed.

I've known lots of ok men who are not rapists or abusers, some are even men I love so I'm always very NAMALT.

But then I look at the news on any given day and see, well let's see for today ....

• female journalist's headless torso found. Man arrested for it.

-children starving in Yemen war which was started by men -mother talks of daughter raped by six men.

It makes me feel something for sure. But you can never say "hang on a bit, there's a pattern" because it seems so unfair to the majority of men who aren't like that.

I don't know what the answer is OP but I'm sure it leads to a generalised feeling of depression in many women.

Your "very mild mra" obviously hates women much more than you hate men, he just doesn't admit it.

This. I see this a lot. So many simply don't admit to it. Not just MRAs but alt-right as well, although often they go hand in hand. They always have a gazillion reasons or 'logical' explanations for their views, carefully crafted into a neat narrative for their agenda. But they are never the racists, never the sexists, never the bad guy. If push comes to shove, everything is a conspiracy and they are the ones that see through it.

And the need to be thin and beautiful, well that's just a whole other way of punishing us. No one is shocked when a boring mediocre man gets a fabulous woman.

On that I would disagree.

Many MRAs are shocked by that, but they then blame it on women being whores, and it must be because the mediocre man has money and/or power.

Spaghetti

Maybe it's time for women to have post-nups? Before having kids sign a contract that money earned by the man must be shared equally if the pair decide to have kids and the woman takes care of them? If a pre-nup is so common to protect the man why not the other way round?

Aberbilatemycardigan, it's fine to say you want equality but op said he hates men which is not any different than if I said I hate women. I don't know what op meant when she said "mra" that's why I asked. Is this mra an activist or just anti-feminist guy?

Just wanted to add a hear hear!

Perhaps is because bad men are so much worse than bad women. So yes I would agree up to a point with this. But there are still a lot of good men and OK men.