Is there a name for this thing that seems to happen all the time on feminist threads? It happens on other subjects too,, but it's very noticeable on feminism.

[BertrandRussell]

Somebody will post about something they've observed. Something that only every happens to women, for example. Like being called a girl, as a 45 year old professional woman. And another poster will say that "Oh, people use "boy" to describe 45 year old professional men all the time"
Which is simply, observably, NOT TRUE.

On the thread about gendered endearments, people are suggesting that "mate" is non gendered.
Which is simply, observably, NOT TRUE.

Is there a name for it? If not, should we invent one? The Blinker Fallacy?

Good example CopperBeach!

Maybe it should be called the "parallel universe where nothing bad ever happens so please send me the directions!" paradox.

Nobody said it was worse, hasitcometothis33.

But your post is a great example of exactly what the OP was talking about. Seeing something that isn't there and deciding that the OP is actually denigrating lower-paid women.

Which is very clearly untrue.

Anyways, while you lot sit here spouting utter bollocks on here about calling people mate, people in Syria are having a spot of bother. And people trafficking in Yemen is unpleasant. You unfeeling harridans.

Talk about giving feminism a bad name.

They have clearly never watched Strictly with Brendan "This Girl..." Cole. In the same way I wanted a contestant to peel Chris Tarrant's hand off their shoulder in Millionaire, I would dearly love Brendan's next partner to interject WOMAN on prime time TV.

Oh yes, actually with actual friends, I've said/been called mate. But it's a joke thing between friends - where the distinction comes in is with people you don't know, who will call men 'pal', 'mate', 'sir', 'fella', and women love, darling, sweetheart, my lovely.

Women will also use those terms to men they don't know, but men will not.

so what you re saying is that the terms love, darling, sweetheart, are used most BETWEEN women and men, but terms like mate, guys, etc are used in all men, or all women groups?

Hanging out with all the bossy men hesterton

Brilliant! Because someone challenges your world view they must be lying. I agree 'bubbly boy' sounds unlikely but it's not impossible. If your argument is strong enough you won't need to challenge individuals exeriences to get your point across.

Copperbeech

To people they don't know, eg. in shops
Women to men: love, sweetheart, darling.
Men to women: see above
Women to women: see above
Men to men: mate, pal, fella, sir.

To friends
Women to men: possibly love sweetheart etc, or mate depending on friendship.
Men to women: see above
Women to women: see above
Men to men: mate, pal, fella....

Mate and love strongly ime depends on area / class. So watch out pps that you are not applying what happens in your life universally.

What a stupid thing to say Manclife. But good way to absolutely prove Bertrand's point

so you want women to say mate, pal etc more often? i'm really struggling to follow what the issue is

Ah yes @Popchyk the Whatabout the 3rd World?

Because we don't care about them at all

Maybe this isn't the thread for you, coppebeech.

If women are committing 50% of all the crimes then we are clearly evil geniuses. Men are just a bunch of masochists/show offs who want to get caught.

"I agree 'bubbly boy' sounds unlikely but it's not impossible"

Well, no. Not impossible of course.........

You can pretty much always find the odd example of things happening to men that happen to women - e.g. in Derbyshire, a man in a shop would certainly call another man love. It doesn't remotely mean that there isn't a gendered problem whereby women are spoken to patronisingly. Same with violence.

Bubbly Boy is complete nonsense though. Obviously "it isn't impossible" but the fact it it doesn't and wouldn't get said.

@jiggly why is it stupid and how does it support the argument? It doesn't.

Maybe this isn't the thread for you, coppebeech

and why would that be exactly?

because my experience is different to yours?

Because my opinion is different to yours?

Is this a forum only for people with identical feelings, thoughts, experiences and opinions?

You seem to be missing the point. Which is you have the moral high ground already. Don't make yourself look stupid by being distracted by irelivant points such as if someone was/wasn't called 'bubbly boy'.

i'm really struggling to follow what the issue is

the issue certainly isn't that we want to be called 'mate' more often. Did you try to read the OP?

No, Copperbeech because you said you're 'struggling to follow what the issue is' - so I'm wondering why you want to talk about it, I guess.

You still have not explained where the sexism is with the use of the word "mate" - I agree it is not a nice term, and normally used in a derogatory, even threatening way, but I have not experienced it being used in a sexist way.

Is it a variation of the "anecdotal" fallacy? "You used a personal experience or an isolated example instead of a sound argument or compelling evidence"

yourlogicalfallacyis.com/anecdotal

It's often much easier for people to believe someone's testimony as opposed to understanding complex data and variation across a continuum. Quantitative scientific measures are almost always more accurate than personal perceptions and experiences, but our inclination is to believe that which is tangible to us, and/or the word of someone we trust over a more 'abstract' statistical reality.

I have never, ever, heard a man call another man 'love'. Admittedly I live in Yorkshire not Derbyshire, so maybe it's different, but I do know it doesn't happen here.

Copperbeech- can you say what it is you don't get and I'll try to explain myself better?