No-gendered terms of endearment

[CaptainWarbeck]

After watching the gender neutral school experiment, we realised DH routinely calls DS buddy, mate and champ as pet names, and DD sweetie.

They're both very young still so ample time to change this if we want. But it's so hard to think of non gendered terms of affection. All we've come up with is darling.

Are there any more?

[MorrisZapp]

Darling, sweetheart, baby, honey, sweetpea, treasure, love

[dudsville]

What was the result of the experiment? Is it bad to use those terms of endearment?

[Mxyzptlk]

Why not make some up?

[newtlover]

sausage
poppet

[HardcoreLadyType]

It's not bad to use terms of endearment, dudsville, the problem is differentiating between boys and girls, reinforcing differences that often, are not really there.

[QoFE]

Chicken
Poppet
Sweetie pie
Star
Beauty
Lovely
Munchkin
Bear (as in, come on bear, as in the dreadful joke about the bear in the cheese drawer)
Sausage (this is DPs term of endearment not mine!)

These are all used interchangeably between our girl and boy :) I guess people would probably think of beauty and sweetie pie as girly ones but my DS is beautiful and is a sweetie pie.

[TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross]

A friend of mine uses "lovely" as a noun rather than an adjective for a term of endearment - so, "Don't worry, my lovely".

It makes me feel all warm inside

[Glowinginthedark]

Does it matter much? Assuming your son has a 'boys' name and your daughter has a 'girls' name I'm sure it won't do much harm. My boys get babe, buddy, sausage, chicken, cupcake whatever pops into my head!

[retreatwhispering]

We call our DC monster mouse.

[CaptainWarbeck]

As hardcore said above.

All DS'S current pet names imply equality between him and DH (buddy, mate) or bigging him up (champ). Which is lovely. But 'sweetie' implies cute and little. Not quite the same.

It's worth watching the BBC prog.

Will consider all these suggestions with DH

[LassWiTheDelicateAir]

None of buddy, mate, champ or sweetie are gendered.

I'm struggling to think of any endearments which of themselves indicate the sex of the person.

[LassWiTheDelicateAir]

sweetie does not imply cute. It makes me think of sweet- natured- which is most certainly not a bad thing for a boy or a girl to be.

[Ineedacupofteadesperately]

We use Pumpkin or love.

[MulhuddartDrive]

theonly, since going on holiday to Wales last year I call everyone "lovely"

[girlwhowearsglasses]

I only have boys

I use 'lovvey'
And chicken

[BlackAmericanoNoSugar]

I call both of mine (one of each sex) 'sweetie' and 'honey bun', even though teenage DS is taller than me and would more appropriately be nicknamed 'grumpy guts'.

[ErrolTheDragon]

None of buddy, mate, champ or sweetie are gendered.

I think its which ones the OPs DH uses for the boy only and which for the girl only which is the issue.

[ForeverLivingMyArse]

Toots!

[pieceofpurplesky]

I call DS sweetie sometimes. And mate. Baby. Dude. Pumpkin (although mumpkin as that's what he used to say).

I sometimes call my pupils chicken or pickles. (As in cheer up chicken or come on pickles get your work done)
Male or female.

[SpaghettiAndMeatballs]

I only have boys, and terms of endearment don't come naturally to me (my mum didn't really use them), but mine are called animal names normally (toad, monkey, piggywig), and by me, 'My Sweet', trouble.

I wouldn't use 'my sweet' on other kids now I think about it, but the rest of them get used for any child I'm in contact with, boy or girl.

DP uses Mate (but again, I've seen it used with our nieces as much as our nephews - it's just his go-to when he doesn't remember a child's name quickly enough).

Perhaps the solution could be for your DH to spread out his usage instead? Use Buddy etc. for your daughter, and sweetie for your son?

[thepatchworkcat]

My boy gets called:
Pumpkin
Sweetie pie
Munchkin
Baby
Monkey
Darling
Mister
Little man
Cheeky
Matey peeps

I don't have a girl but would probably use those with a girl too, except little man/mister obvs.

[TheWitchAndTrevor]

If I'm talking collectively to the dc they get called chillblains.

In a mary poppins voice

"Come along chillblains, time to go"

Not sure how helpful that suggestion is though

[DodgyGround]

My boys are "darling" and "sweetheart", just as they would be if they had been born girls.

It's all daft nonsense.

[DodgyGround]

Oh, and they're "oy, mister!" And "cheekychops!" Where appropriate too.

My friends get called missus when I'm teasing them, so it's equal from that POV.