Other ways men dominate space, apart from the physical

[SpongeBobJudgeyPants]

Inspired by another thread. I was in a coffee shop recently, empty apart from female friend and I , and two blokes who were cleaning the windows. Both occupied opposite ends of the room, and rather than actually move towards each other to have a conversation, they shouted, over the top of us, and our conversation, meaning I was actually shouting to continue the conversation...this seemed preferable to what would have meant silencing us. So I started off thinking it was about space, but the natural consequence would have been for us to have been literally silenced...which is more worrying.Anyone got any further thoughts on this?

QueenNefertitty indeed it does although I'm not a mother I do this with my brothers though; the elder of the two is 15 and now tells me of challenging sexism amongst his friends. I've talked to them both, though particularly the elder, about sexism generally and various experiences (for example street harassment) - I'm not sure if it's helped coming from me or I'm relatively lucky they're receptive to it!

I spent a fair amount of time as an inpatient during my last pregnancy. Some of the men on the antenatal ward had absolutely no regard for the privacy, dignity or wellbeing of the women in there. Sprawled out on the beds, using patient toilets, pushing in the queue for the food trolley, turning the volume up loud on the individual tvs, having loud phone conversations at the end of other patient's beds.

It was usually men who came in with women who weren't poorly as such, but coming in for their partners to be induced. They treated it like a jolly day out with zero regard for the unwell patients on the wards, some on drips, others on oxygen etc and clearly ill. I was moved to a private room in the end otherwise I would have discharged myself against medical advice.

I had exactly the same experience while in a children's hospital with my poorly toddler. Male visitors would come in and change the TV channel in the bed bay from CBeebies / cartoons onto sports / news and turn up the volume.

They would also use the ward kitchen ( which was for resident parents) to make themselves a coffee then get stroppy with the nurses when they pointed out that hot drinks were not allowed on the ward. Which was on a sign right in front of them above the kettle.

I think (honestly) it starts quite early, probably in toddlerhood with all of the socialisation stuff that we often refer to here. He's a boy! He's loud, boisterous, he runs and takes up space. She's a girl, she should be quieter, etc. I've read accounts of researchers monitoring play areas to find girls on the outside or using the equipment less, or being told to make way for boys, or similar. I think this is all quite insidious and it becomes an ingrained habit in adulthood. So teenage boys might 'talk the talk', but they are probably unaware of behaviours that are simply natural to them.

There have been several studies on this, and they all show that men dominate the conversation/space even when they are a minority in a group. Its one reason sexual trauma therapy groups are single sex.

some info in this article;
nytlive.nytimes.com/womenintheworld/2015/03/19/google-chief-blasted-for-repeatedly-interrupting-female-government-official/?mcubz=1

At my work consisting of a mostly female team , we can be having a meeting or just chatting in our space and guys from other depts will come in and interupt or talk across us very loudly. Its open plan which doesnt help but still. A couple of times i have said excuse us we will be with you when weve finished and the other women are

DJBaggySmalls

Not just interrupting, automatically going to 'shut up!'.

I had a season ticket for my local football club all through my teens. Walking down to the ground was always an experience. Drunk men everywhere shouting and chanting. Once a team had come to us, and if they won they were going to get promoted. I've never seen so many drunk men just openly undoing their flies and pissing all over a town. Also, the walk back would be an experience of it was one of the big teams and my smaller team had caused an upset. I had one man threaten to punch me once, purely because my team has just beaten his and I was wearing my shirt as I walked past.
Oh and the goady chants of 'shhhh' from opposing fans -as if it were a bad thing that our fans weren't making a load of noise and were just watching the game.

When we have men from Maintenance in our building, they are always barging in and out and leaving doors open, when there are signs everywhere saying to keep doors closed (there are animals in the building).
Last year, one contractor jammed an automatic door open that you need a key card for. I had to ask him to close it and use the other entrance and got a load of harrumphing, followed by pressing the rear door buzzer about eight times in an hour because he wanted to get in and refused to go round the front. Male colleague spoke to him the next day and the twattishness stopped.
Another Maintenance guy regularly uses my workroom as a thoroughfare, despite being asked not to on at least two occasions.

Thinking back to school, the entire playground was dominated by a game of football, with the girls skirting the edges playing skipping and elastic games.

NobleGiraffe- I had a discussion about this at a primary school I'm involved with recently. They have a relatively small playground, most of which is marked out as a sports pitch. Some of the older boys (and no girls) have been chosen to lead football games at break and lunch time which means that anyone who does not want to play football has very little space to play (and no alternative organised games). The head teacher's answer to my questions was that there is nothing stopping girls playing football and (in the same breath) that'boys need their football so that they are refreshed and ready for the next lessons. My observation is that only a handfull of girls ever join in and I know that some of the girls have said they don't like lunch time because there is nothing to do. But apparently I don't understand what boys need. Is there any wonder that boys grow in to young men who think they have a right to dominate any space?