I'm fucking sick of male violence

[QuentinSummers]

This poor little boy, saying sorry and still getting beaten to death
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-40522224
And we will have to all act like this is a random piece of bad luck as opposed to some absolute evil fucking man who's been taught by society that it's ok to use your physical strength to assert dominance over others.
Stop the world, I want to get off.

I can't read it but I can imagine. It's horrific and I'm fucking sick of it. I started a thread about the turd who murdered two partners and it's just not as interesting as a parking thread so it disappeared pretty quickly.

I feel the world is full of people making excuses for male violence from day 1. Boisterous boys in reception nearly had my dc in casualty but it's to be expected apparently. If from 4 or younger you're being told it's ok to hit out it's bound to stick. A lot of men hit out at people they see as weaker because they are so inadequate ime. Poor sanctions and policing don't help. A couple of years for murdering your partner's child is hardly a massive deterrent.

This is an oddly controversial position on MN, but I think one of the things we need to do is to outlaw hitting children. So much easier to get early intervention when any kind of violence is against the law.

I have just reported my thread 'In the News' because other posters have rightly pointed out that there are contempt of court issues.

However, I will say I agree with a PP about supporting women to make the right choices. I put up with some ridiculous shit - not violence - from previous boyfriends because I felt having one was better than not having one. I was young and attractive, intelligent and I felt that was all I was worth. Society has a lot to answer for.

I see where you're coming from serf and I more than anyone think that we should be giving education in schools about red flags in relationships but the fact remains that 1) it smacks to me of victim blaming (not saying that was your intention so hope that doesn't come off as confrontational) and 2) you can be as educated about DV as you want and still fall prey to it.

Say you know all the DV red flags and you see one in your new partner so you immediately leave. That doesn't protect you from being stalked, attacked or killed by him.

Male violence won't ever stop until society stops enabling and normalising it. Putting the onus on women to protect themselves is not going to help in the long run.

In fact one of the major issues in our society with DV is we assume once a woman leaves that's the end of it. It isn't.

Sadly you cannot guarantee the police will protect you, it's a lottery.

Prevention training/red flag awareness is not victim blaming. its essential, we you dont learn it we cant teach it to our kids. It needs to be taught alongside other strategies.

There isnt one thing that will stop male violence other than men just not doing it.

Sick and tired of it here too.

And increasingly puzzled why male violence is not more under scrutiny?

Male violence kills more men than any other kind of violence too, so you'd think that the powers that be would have an interest of looking at it any way...

I wish I hadn't read that

The conviction of the man who killed two of his girlfriends reminded me of a case here in Scotland, of a man who killed his first wife then tried to kill his second in the way -Wikipedia I remember following the case in the press and I think there was a documentary about it, as the conviction followed a lot of effort with Grampian Police working with the New Zealand police.

What is most horrifying is everything else that he is suspected of but there isn't/wasn't enough evidence against him. Well, that and the numerous attempts he made to appeal his conviction and torment his victim's family (they wanted to alter her gravestone but were told they had to ask his permission) .

You misunderstand me. I absolutely wasn't saying it shouldn't be taught.

Unfortunately any time you raise the point that male violence is a huge problem in society, the NAMALT crowd soon descend, with talk of how women can be violent too and stories about how their best friend's sister's cousin once decked her husband. Because the plural of anecdote is always data. I guarantee the same would happen if OP had posted this same thread in AIBU or Chat. Women falling over each other to deny the reality of male violence.

You could view all safety awareness as victim blaming, I suppose. But if everyone refuses to get into a car with a drunk driver and threatens to call the police, it adds up to peer pressure. If everyone knows good taxi-using precautions it drastically reduces opportunity for rogue drivers/attackers. And so on.

Do you think someone is "NAMALTing" on this thread @QueenoftheAndals ?

Does it though? Is the man that is capable of murdering a child or a partner purely opportunist? Would he not be violent if women were better educated about domestic violence and red flags?

Not on this thread no, but that's probably because it's in FWR. I was making more of a general point really.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-40529081

The age is chilling not that it's a huge surprise to me, just the awareness that a boy of my age is capable of harbouring such violent misogynistic views of women and girls and fully able to carry out such an attack.

I think any violent predator is more of a threat inside the home or family unit than outside of it @HandbagKrabby

At the moment there is no reason for violent men to change their ways (same as rapists). I'm trying to think what we can do to try to get them to change, somehow stopping women from forming relationships with them as far as possible would be one answer. Of course, loads of them are too clever.
The other thing that shocked me about this case was it was in a public place and noone intervened.

Would he not be violent if women were better educated about domestic violence and red flags?

I have worked in DV for 10 years and I still had a man beat me, so I'm afraid my answer would have to be yes, in many cases he would still be violent.

Also bear in mind that a lot of these men don't always have totally obvious red flags. Emotional abuse in particular is insidious and very very subtle.

It's a bit like rape - if women don't make themselves vulnerable they can lessen their risk but the advice passes the risk on to a different group.

I don't think education is a bad idea but it's an easier option than looking at men and what they choose to do.

Yes, handbag - that's exactly what I was getting at.

I agree to an extent but women can't make themselves less vulnerable to rape without living alone and never leaving the house.

Exactly NoLove

I think many women sadly still believe if they only do x y or z they'll be safe. They won't, because the problem lies with men.

Absolutely Furchester. Women and girls are sexually assaulted and raped at all hours of the day, in any clothing, in all kinds of areas - the only common denominator is the men and boys choosing to attack.

The other thing that shocked me about this case was it was in a public place and noone intervened.

The report suggests that there were no witnesses to the alleged beating - a witness heard the shouting (but obviously didn't investigate).

As I said above, I think early intervention (whether at the moment of an attack or years before) would be easier if violence against children were illegal. As a bystander you don't really have a leg to stand on if a parent chooses to hit a child. Obviously once it had escalated in a case like this you would, but initially you might not investigate because there's no illegality.