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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Sixth form clothing policy - help me verbalise why I feel uncomfortable

44 replies

NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 21/06/2017 21:05

DD in lower sixth. Usual British weather has meant that the 'appropriate clothing' issue hasn't cropped up before this heatwave. Now they are having stroppy assemblies threatening to send home students (girls mostly I'd imagine) to change if it's not suitable or even being asked to leave. Really? Because of a strappy top?
This policy is all very vague though. Usually they are quite relaxed and kids are allowed to be pretty casual. What is too short? Why are they role models? Feel very cross but they are being very careful to not specify the girls but we are all well aware at who they are aiming this at.
My only confliction is that I work in an environment where we all have to be smart- and there are times and places for a dress code. Chuck some stuff at me please.

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AssassinatedBeauty · 21/06/2017 21:14

What is the dress code? I think it's quite tricky to comment on what the issues are without knowing what the specifics are, sorry!

BertrandRussell · 21/06/2017 21:17

What's the dress code?

NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 21/06/2017 21:26

That's the thing, the dress code says no ripped clothing, not too short skirts, no offensive slogans, appropriate clothing. Smart day on Fridays. All very vague. But the DH today apparently ranted about the amount of flesh on show.
When one of the girls asked 'what is too short' he shut her down and said I'm sick of discussing this with you all.

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jelliebelly · 21/06/2017 21:26

What dresscode are they supposed to adhere to? Ours is "office dress" for sixth form so never overly casual.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 21/06/2017 21:27

Not DH, I meant DH (deputy head)

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jelliebelly · 21/06/2017 21:27

Cross post with op - in that case they need to revisit the dress code!

Firenight · 21/06/2017 21:29

Sounds like the dress code needs to be more specific.

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 21/06/2017 21:40

If you can't dress outlandishly in sixth form, where can you?

When I was a sixth former, only a few private schools had any sort of dress code. It is always girls who get the nitpicking as well.

RiverTam · 21/06/2017 21:42

Would a rule of thumb of no underwear on show or easily visible be a good start? So strappy tops that cover your bra strap are fine, and make sure that you can't see her knickers when she walks up the stairs in a short skirt. And no arse-exposing shorts? (For what it's worth I don't think boys should be exposing their underwear either, those trousers you see da yoof in! Buy a belt, FFS!)

I don't really like business wear sixth form rules, it seems so odd when so many of them will either be heading to uni where they can wear what they like for 3 years at least, or getting jobs where that kind of dress code doesn't exist (I'm 45 and have never worked in any office with a dress code).

RiverTam · 21/06/2017 21:42

Small at uni. Though kids these days at uni seem like a right dull bunch, clothes wise. Whatever happened to wearing army surplus, hmm??

SallyGinnamon · 21/06/2017 21:46

Ha! Ours are in business suits so no chance of anything revealing!

NataliaOsipova · 21/06/2017 21:46

Sounds like the dress code needs to be more specific.

I agree. E.g. No sleeveless or strapless tops. Skirts or trousers must come no more than 1 inch above the knee. No transparent fabrics. No logos or slogans.

When I was in the sixth form (dark ages!) the rule was "suitable for school business", which I always thought was admirably vague..,,!

C0untDucku1a · 21/06/2017 21:48

id assume...
girls: No strappy tops. Shoulders covered. Belly covered. Skirts more towards knee length.
Boys: no shorts shorter than on the knee. Shoulder covering tshirts, rather than vest type

MyWhatICallNameChange · 21/06/2017 21:53

Why are shoulders so offensive? I can't say I've ever looked at someone and been shocked if they have their shoulders on show - male or female.

Not that I'm offended by the other stuff either, but I know some people could be.

But shoulders? Ooh, pass the smelling salts!

RiverTam · 21/06/2017 21:55

I assume at this age it's bras being on show. DD is 7, at a non-uniform school and one of their few rules is no strappy tops, but I would guess that's to do with sunburn more than anything at her age.

RiverTam · 21/06/2017 21:55

Unless they're all attending school in an Italian Catholic Church Grin?

Piratesandpants · 21/06/2017 21:58

Is it just about dressing appropriately? If the students are being asked to do this and yes it's vague maybe that's a good thing because they're learning to make a judgement call rather than just learning how to follow a rule. The former is more useful when they move into employment.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 21/06/2017 22:16

Exactly, why no strappy tops? Does a shorter skirt affect learning? Would skin on show turn the boys/men into monsters? It does feel very sexist and aimed at the girls. I'm finding this whole 'modest' thing quite rampant at the moment. The girls feel quite angry as well but school refuse to even have a grown up conversation with them. In my opinion to avoid being called out on it.

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Bluntness100 · 21/06/2017 22:23

Think this is some form of stealth " teenagers have a right to show it all off a school" thread.

Dressing like you would for an office, is a good example for sixth form. Your underwear on show or your arse hanging out isn't.

Focus on teaching her to dress appropriately. Trust me you will do her more favours than defending her right to let it all hang out. Or him. It's not gender specific.

NataliaOsipova · 21/06/2017 22:23

Exactly, why no strappy tops? Does a shorter skirt affect learning?

No - but it's unsuitable attire for a school, as it would be for an office. As it would be on a boy (say, vest top and running shorts).

Agree with pirates about the need to learn for oneself what's appropriate in a given situation rather than relying on rules. You could interpret "business dress" in the same way - does a strappy top and a short skirt affect your ability to draft an aircraft finance lease? It doesn't - but in a professional environment you'd be told to wear something else.

CrazedZombie · 21/06/2017 22:27

I think the policy needs to be more specific. Do teachers wear strappy tops? Are bra straps and how much cleavage is on show? If girls can't wear strappy tops then are boys stopped from wearing vests? If girls can't wear short skirts/shorts then the same rule must apply to boys.

Effzeh · 21/06/2017 22:29

My dd's non-uniform school has the guideline, 'no straps or gaps', i.e. no
midriffs or cleavages, and no visible underwear. Shorts or skirts no shorter than mid-thigh, no backless sandals or flip flops.

Seems reasonable to me - I think it's ok to expect kids to look like they're dressed for school and not for the beach. Other than that nobody really minds - the only other big no-no is offensive slogans on clothing.

C0untDucku1a · 21/06/2017 22:30

rivertam do i work with you?! Grin i was having a conversation at work this week week and a young teacher asked what the policy was for staff and i used that exact phrase!

NoLoveofMine · 21/06/2017 22:45

My school has no uniform or dress code whatsoever in the sixth form, nor do a couple of other comparable schools friends attend. I don't think a dress code is necessarily a bad thing as long as it doesn't discriminate; was the Deputy Headmaster ranting about "flesh" being "on show" in terms of boys and girls?

NoLoveofMine · 21/06/2017 23:32

I do think dress codes often target girls in schools from what I know. From schools which compel girls to wear skirts (girls and boys should all have the options of trousers, skirts or shorts) to telling girls essentially to "cover up", suggesting they shouldn't show much of their bodies and it'd be their fault if any attention was received as a result of doing so and so forth. There's nothing wrong with a girl in a short skirt and certainly nothing distracting - if there is the problem is with those who are distracted.

As I said in my previous post, my school has no dress code in the sixth form (though I expect offensive slogans would be frowned upon - I've never seen any though) and it certainly doesn't affect learning nor the future careers of pupils.