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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

Is it just me, or is this a missing of the point?

70 replies

user1489831368 · 19/03/2017 08:49

I live in what considers itself an extremely feminist town. I walked into an exhibition "Women through history" with my 9yo dd and my baby daughter. Cue baby complainy noises, and we're glared out of the place. Did I miss something in feminism??

OP posts:

honeysucklejasmine · 19/03/2017 08:51

You left because people were annoyed at your baby?! Arseholes are everywhere, dear. No need to cater to them.

AssassinatedBeauty · 19/03/2017 10:00

Yeah, I wouldn't have left. Was it other visitors glaring or the staff?

Original poster

user1489831368 · 19/03/2017 10:16

It was both! I probably wouldn't have normally left, but I was very sleep deprived (baby) and stressed (9yo) that day and my usual barriers weren't up. I was just a bit shocked, later that day, thinking about the hypocrisy of the specific situation.

OP posts:

AssassinatedBeauty · 19/03/2017 10:19

If you feel up to it, maybe you could contact the place where the exhibit was and tell them what happened.

Original poster

user1489831368 · 19/03/2017 10:24

Actually, you're right, they'd definitely want to know about the staff anyway. That sh*t does not fly here, the community's very proud of its.. image.

OP posts:

Trills · 19/03/2017 10:38

People at a museum exhibit making faces at a baby making noise is not unusual.

Were you expecting visitors at a feminist exhibit to be less annoyed at baby noises than visitors at other exhibits?

Trills · 19/03/2017 10:39

they'd definitely want to know about the staff anyway.

You hadn't mentioned the staff before this - were the staff rude to you?

HelenDenver · 19/03/2017 10:40

I would so love to know which town considers itself extremely feminist, so I can move there.

HelenDenver · 19/03/2017 10:41

Of course, I go to a fresco museum without being a medieval Italian painter; it's possible the other customers wouldn't consider themselves feminists...

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 19/03/2017 10:41

Hebden Bridge?

ErrolTheDragon · 19/03/2017 11:16

You might have hoped that visitors (let alone staff) at this particular exhibition might have engaged their brain cells, put two and two together with a bit of common humanity and been tolerant.

As it was, it appears the OP provided a living demonstration of some of the reasons for the reality of many women in history and that such attitudes aren't confined to the past.

Original poster

user1489831368 · 19/03/2017 11:22

Sorry I mentioned it now. Thank you all for reminding me what a silly cow I am and that it was all my fault (BOTH for being there in the first place AND apparently for leaving)
I'll be trying to delete the thread since I've clearly stepped on toes somehow.

OP posts:

HelenDenver · 19/03/2017 11:29

What?

No one said you were a silly cow.

raisinsofwrath · 19/03/2017 11:31

Given your last post I wonder if you were actually glared at at all

PhoenixJasmine · 19/03/2017 11:32

I think I may have missed the point too then..... if I was visiting an exhibition I would not appreciate children being noisy and disruptive in it. I feel my feminism is completely unaffected by holding this view..... I feel the same way about children running amok in restaurants, supermarkets etc and generally disturbing people unrelated to them as they go about their business. Whatever the sex of the children or the people caring for them. That women are often expected to do the majority of childcare and this limits how they can access child-unfriendly spaces is not the reason I find disruptive children in adult spaces unacceptable. Deal with the inequality in childcare, that's the feminist issue.

Totally depends if your daughter was quietly grizzling (fair enough, babies are not silent dolls) or wailing her head off (I would have found it very hard to concentrate and it would have severely affected my enjoyment of the exhibition). And no one said anything to you, you just left because you felt they were looking at you? You weren't actually asked to leave or anything? Sorry - it clearly isn't just you from other posters here but to me it comes across as a bit "my child has the right to disrupt others" and that you're not happy that other people didn't appreciate your child disrupting them.

ErrolTheDragon · 19/03/2017 11:33

Eh? OP, I think it was really out of order that this happened - and I don't blame you for not being able to deal with the situation more assertively.

PhoenixJasmine · 19/03/2017 11:34

OP are you alright? You sound pretty upset and are taking offence very easily. No one said you were a silly cow.

BertrandRussell · 19/03/2017 11:35

"Thank you all for reminding me what a silly cow I am and that it was all my fault"

Sorry?

ErrolTheDragon · 19/03/2017 11:38

if I was visiting an exhibition I would not appreciate children being noisy and disruptive in it

I might not appreciate it either, but I'd hope I could show some sympathy and not glare at a woman with a fractious baby.

AssassinatedBeauty · 19/03/2017 11:41

Is it about inequality in childcare or about children being unwelcome in places like art galleries and exhibition spaces? When they could be welcomed if we had a less anti-child society?

BertrandRussell · 19/03/2017 11:43

"When they could be welcomed if we had a less anti-child society?"

Do we have an anti child society?

Glossolalia · 19/03/2017 11:44

OP no one has said you are a silly cow. I'm sure that no one on the thread thinks that either.

Are you ok?

PurpleDaisies · 19/03/2017 11:46

Sorry I mentioned it now. Thank you all for reminding me what a silly cow I am and that it was all my fault (BOTH for being there in the first place AND apparently for leaving)

Are you reading the sand thread?

PurpleDaisies · 19/03/2017 11:47

Same not sand.

PhoenixJasmine · 19/03/2017 11:48

I might give a sympathetic look - could be interpreted as a glare by someone who felt self-conscious. Male or female.

I can understand glaring if the disruption was extreme, persistent or not being dealt with. In those cases one would expect the disruptive child to be removed from the environment but wouldn't feel comfortable to say so and be hoping that the adult got the message. The glarer would be getting increasingly annoyed at the lack of consideration being shown. If it went on a very long time the staff may receive complaints and be compelled to ask that the child leave.

Whatever the opinion on how much disruption is acceptable in a given environment, I don't see it as a feminist issue - yes it affects women more than men, but because of the inequality in childcare, not the nature of whether spaces are child-friendly or not.

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