Man walks free from court after statutory rape

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Saw this news case today, and am not sure what I think:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-39305042

I feel that it gives the message that it's ok for men not to worry about the age of girls/women they have sex with if they have reasonable grounds to believe they're 16+.

Well as Itsall has pointed out, if he went ahead and did so, then accept the risk of committing statutory rape etc as he didn't actually know she was old enough to consent. And accept an actual penalty for it rather than an absolute discharge.

Man either respects woman and accepts answer or doesn't and demands additional evidence beyond the evidence that men are expected to provide. Which, in every other circumstance we complain about.

Actually, if I was into casual sex (I am not) I would ask for a passport or driver's license before having sex with a man who looks very young.

It's just common sense.

scottishdiem I'd suggest women ask for the same should they be in the same position.

Just told dp about this and asked him what he thought. He said what was she doing out that time of night. Then when i asked if the guy was in the wrong to which he said "depends what she was wearing" and that it wasnt fair for the guy to be labled

He couldnt seem to link that shes the same age as our dd. Ffs

Bizzare attitude to sex on here

Yep, having sex with a random 16 year old is pretty grim in itself.

I know at the age of 21 if I was looking for a casual bunk up I would have ran away from a 16 year old because to me that was just way too young.

A 21 year old having sex with a 16 year old stranger is not something that is just fine and dandy in my world.

Oh I dunno, maybe because even if she had been 16 having sex with a teenager you don't know is fairly grim thing to do?

Well, to be fair he was a teenager himself at the time.

I'd see it differently if he was 30.

Bizzare attitude to sex on here

Bizarre reply.

He was 19.

Oh, I see he was actually 19 at the time it happened.

I've met plenty of twenty year olds who talk like twelve year olds. We live in a world where people have recreational sex the first time they meet. They do not get to know each other, meet each other's families, decide if they like each other first. This is considered acceptable.

If we accept this is our world, we have to accept people will make mistakes. A nineteen year old slept with someone who looked 18, said she was 16, and was out partying unsupervised at 4am. Had he met her at a playground things may have ended differently...

U2 he was 19, not 21

"a man who looks very young."

How old she looked as the issue but also, no-one did that at my university. Perhaps getting them to fill out a form in triplicate accepting the invitation to have sex?

I do like MN. Always so prim and proper. No-one here apparently had sex until marriage or at the very least after university and in a long term relationship. I look back on my own underage activities with some surprise that it didnt go bad and had no consequences (other than know what I liked by the time I got to uni) but society is no different.

Oh, clearly I didn't refresh before I posted

Obviously it is not her fault. She cannot be held responsible.

Then when i asked if the guy was in the wrong to which he said "depends what she was wearing" and that it wasnt fair for the guy to be labled

WHAT?

The only thing she could have been wearing that'd make a difference would be a) a car or b) car keys.

I mean, it is possible she looked 16 and he looked 15, and I am not so naive to think that 12 year old girls don't want to have sex with 15 year old boys, so he could just have been stupid - but her clothes really don't make a difference.

Indeed sex with a teenager who'd been drinking, the night you meet them, in someone else's flat.

Thats what i told him but just got a blank look. Ergh im going to bed!

"We live in a world where people have recreational sex the first time they meet. They do not get to know each other, meet each other's families, decide if they like each other first. This is considered acceptable."

This was me from age 14. Beach parties. And then parties in the woods when housing developments go too close. Didnt change much when I got to Uni and then I found the remarkably sexual atmosphere of student politics. Settled down pretty much after leaving uni. I never once asked any of my partners for their ID.

Aged 13 I spent many a weekend at a friends house. Her mum worked nights. We were smoking on the seafront, or in the pub. My parents assumed I was safe. If any thing had happened to me, and by the grace of god nothing did, who would be to blame? I have a 13 yo myself now and cringe at my behaviour and the risks I opened myself up to. At the time of course, I knew it all.

And if your 13 yo would go to a sleepover would just assume she's safe or check with the parents and what not?

What bothers me is her lack of 'no' and her lack of 'distress' afterwards is taken as lack of objection. But she's 12. TWELVE. Did she know how to say no? Did she know what was happening? How drunk was she? Did she really understand afterwards what had happened?

In this case, I think the correct judgement and punishment (or lack thereof) was arrived at.

I hope however that this experience has put the fear of God into him - and her parents - and his next foray into ONS won't involve anyone younger than a SAGA cruise member.

It's silly to suggest that everyone here is "prim and proper". Wanting to be certain about consent isn't prim. Suggesting that you refrain from sex with someone who could easily be underage isn't prim.

I read that part of the judge's consideration was that cases involving 13 year olds are handled differently, and she was not far off - did anyone pick up what the difference is between the two sorts of case?

Nancy that's precisely why by law she can't consent and it is rape.