Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Please tell me what you think of this piece of slut shaming journalism

115 replies

FrameyMcFrame · 14/01/2017 08:01

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/mum-caught-having-sex-whitley-12433861#ICID=sharebar_facebook
Where is the photo shaming the man, or does he get a penis pass?

OP posts:
AshesandDust · 14/01/2017 15:11

This has already been in the national press, that's where I read it first a few days ago.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 14/01/2017 15:13

She was charged with outraging public decency, not a sex offence.

Original poster
FrameyMcFrame · 14/01/2017 15:15

Thanks AshesandDust.

Mumsnet emailed me to say they won't delete this thread as it doesn't break their talk guidelines

OP posts:
Looneytune253 · 14/01/2017 15:15

It's a known dogging site and it's pitch black. Not a nice place for a midnight walk tbh. Pretty grim for both of them tbh (not just her). I must admit when I first seen the article I thought the same as you but thinking about what the others here have said it makes perfect sense that it was concentrated on her as she was the one attending court.

NotLadyPrickshit · 14/01/2017 15:17

FFS they went down a quiet lane in the middle of the night in January for a quick shag with someone who wasn't their husband/wife/partner - they did not have said shag on the bloody roundabout at the local park in the middle of the afternoon... so not exactly public indecency or a sex offence 🙄

The police officers involved were clearly a pair of dicks bored & took this way further than they should have... what a waste of time & money!

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 14/01/2017 15:21

Other pictures of St. Mary's island show a cottage and other buildings there.

qwerty232 · 14/01/2017 15:24

I didn't think a green light should be given to adults to have sex in a public place should it? How far this particular case should have been taken is debatable, but the surely it can't be wholly decriminalised?

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 14/01/2017 15:27

It's a known dogging site

Presumably why the police were there then.

Google earth shows a large house and cottages. Do people live there?

RJnomore1 · 14/01/2017 15:31

The fact it's a well known dogging site makes the police officers shock at spotting people having sex even more a/bemusing!

Original poster
FrameyMcFrame · 14/01/2017 15:33

The lighthouse and cottages are on the island. The car park is in the other side of the causeway, about half a mile's walk from the lighthouse

OP posts:
Looneytune253 · 14/01/2017 15:34

People do live on the island I think but this is the car parks on the mainland. There are 2, mostly pitch black and have country walks around behind.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 14/01/2017 15:49

The lighthouse and cottages are on the island. The car park is in the other side of the causeway, about half a mile's walk from the lighthouse

So not exactly considerate of her should anyone in the cottages have been out for a late walk/ on their way home.

Having sex in a public place is illegal. They knew that and decided to chance it.

Original poster
FrameyMcFrame · 14/01/2017 15:53

Surprised at the amount and size of judgey pants on this thread.

Have you never got off with a guy/woman in a car? Dearie me!

How boring.

I just think 'there but by the grace of God go I'

OP posts:
Oblomov16 · 14/01/2017 16:04

Op YABU. Thus isn't 'slum shaming journalism'. He admitted it and accepted the caution. She refused, so it went to court.
How is this anti women?

BertrandRussell · 14/01/2017 16:05

[yawn] @ "how boring"

qwerty232 · 14/01/2017 16:07

Have you never got off with a guy/woman in a car? Dearie me!

Anyone who does that should accept the risk of getting caught. Indeed, isn't that part of the thrill?

AshesandDust · 14/01/2017 16:08

I'm trying to process how does having a bra in your handbag is relevant.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 14/01/2017 16:08

Surprised at the amount and size of judgey pants on this thread

That would cut more ice if you had expressed any sympathy for Mr Affleck and Mrs Gartside who now have their spouses' infidelity splashed over the papers because of this silly and selfish woman.

Of course they have nothing to be ashamed of but I bet they would prefer if it were not public.

bigolenerdy · 14/01/2017 16:09

There's some great mental gymnastics being used to try and make this about the police/the courts etc.

It's against the law to shag in public. This isn't unreasonable, and the police rightly aren't allowed to pick & choose which laws they enforce.

The "caution" system allows them to avoid wasting time/money on minor offences, but it would be completely stupid if people could just reject cautions and nothing more would happen.

This woman has the right to reject the caution (even though her partner accepted his Hmm...), and go to a trial... which she lost... and which led to the case going public. She's not a victim of anything. It's all on her.

Looneytune253 · 14/01/2017 16:12

The people who live on the island would not be out for a walk where this happened because the tide would be in and the cause way would be covered. Doesnt really matter though, anyone else in the world may have been going for a walk.

Xenophile · 14/01/2017 16:15

God alone knows Ashes but I shall be sure and never have my bra anywhere other than on my person at all times...

Original poster
FrameyMcFrame · 14/01/2017 16:16

Oblamov, the whole tone of the article is shaming.

The way it mentions the dress and stilettos right at the start, with no connection to the judges remarks and then again later with that bit added.

The emphasis that it's a Mum doing this, as if that makes it worse!

And the general fact that it's a piece of news? If it had been a guy caught dogging or whatever and he denied it I'm sure it wouldn't have been such a juicy little bit of gossipy news.

Daily mail style woman shaming.

blah

OP posts:
RitaCrudgington · 14/01/2017 16:25

There are any number of reasons why she might forsee the need for DBS checks in the future and hence refuse the caution, especially as she has children. I've had 3 separate DBS checks for different reasons in the last few years - none of them to do with my work, all volunteering /children's school activities. And you have to renew them every 3 years so it's inevitable that it will be revealed eventually. The thought of having to reveal to my DCs' school that the reason why I can't host an exchange student is because I'd been caught dogging chills the blood.

I think her lawyers might have been best advised to go with the "what do you mean "public decency"? She was inside a car in a deserted carpark at midnight in January!" line, rather than the ludicrous denials. But I guess since they were both married she couldn't face it.

Original poster
FrameyMcFrame · 14/01/2017 16:26

I notice the guy's clothes don't get a mention.

But then again, it's only ever women's choice of clothing that gets used against them in situations such as this.

OP posts:
Looneytune253 · 14/01/2017 16:27

But then again, he wasn't on trial?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.