Does having sex with a prostitute constitute rape?

[quencher]

A thread triggered this for me so I have decided to ask the question. If you consent to be paid for sex but don't feel like sleeping with the customer, are you being raped?

Ok so by the same logic, you are saying that if I turn up to my office and my boss pays me to work and I don't fancy it but work anyway then I could do the company for slavery.

No, user. You are not trafficked.

Yes, because working in an office you don't fancy being in is analogous to slavery in the same way that being penitrated by a man you do not wish to penetrate you is to rape.

*penetrated

I wonder if the repeated use of 'sleeping with' to describe punters having sex with prostitutes - often in cars or rooms in cramped flats run by pimps - is part the cognitive dissonance that society uses to pretend that the mostly male punters aren't that bad?

You can't call every man that's slept with a prostitute a rapist though.. if they were a rapist they wouldn't pay for the sex. If they are having sex and the only thing making it possible is money, isn't that coercion? Money is not physical threat but denying the money is detrimental to their finances and makes it rape. It's because the consent would have been based on that money. Money is the reason why they are doing the job. Its a type of job that people who are really struggling or forced into. It's not your normal job that deserves respect. It's diminishing, It's a carries shame and degrades the person doing it. So, how can't the sexual act not be considered rape?

Ffs please stop using that ghastly term 'sleeping with' to describe sex with prostitutes sorry! I have learnt something.

marital rape was abolished, wasn't the idea similar to that of paying for sex. Getting married guaranteed the husband right to sex. We have managed to get rid of that. Paying money so you can have sex. How is it different if not similar?

Beyond,

So, if a woman told you that she had willingly had sex with a man for money, you would explain to her that she was raped?

Should she not be allowed to make that choice that freely? Or do you believe that she cannot know her own mind?

Interesting question OP. I am going to hazard a guess that a huge number of prosituties are raped every day in this country in the legal and traditional sense- ie men taking more than they've paid for.

I also can't stand the idea that there is a distinction between escorts and prosituties. No. Same thing.

The idea that a woman can't consent to sell sex is interesting. There is not doubt that a huge number of prosituties have addiction problems or have been trafficked and are not providing a service for true choice.

This is an interesting article about why men pay for sex. Although getting a criminal conviction or their employers finding out, the fact that the woman may well have been trafficked was not a similar deterrent...

www.theguardian.com/society/2010/jan/15/why-men-use-prostitutes?0p19G=c

The point for me is that if the man didn't know whether or not the woman was trafficked, or didn't care, then he could be raping her. And that, surely, should concern us all.

There may be a vanishing small percentage of prostitutes who love sex with every single man and take the money because why not make your hobby a business.

But if you are a man who doesn't check, I'm happy to call you a rapist. If you don't check:

If the woman has a pimp
If the women started working because the age of consent
If the woman was abused as a child and therefore may have boundary issues
If the women is feeding a drug problem and therefore not consenting properly
If the woman is under the influence
If the woman is coerced or trafficked
If the woman has other options
If the woman is desperate for the money (children, rent, food)

My experience of street work is that men who give money and then don't get sex are not fine with it. I was involved in a case of a man who wouldn't take no for an answer after goods had changed hands. The official story was that he was murdered outside a homeless shelter and was a 'family man'. The 'street story' was that he tried to force the worker into sex after she took goods from him and he was killed by a male friend of hers.

Meant to say, a criminal conviction etc would have acted as a deterrent!

In a criminal sense, no it's not rape as the person is 'consenting'. If the woman was then not paid she may have (unlikely in RL) have a criminal case for rape as she 'consented' to sex for financial recompense and that was the agreement for 'consent'. A RL example might be you can be a woman who consents to sex with someone you like with the agreement he wears a condom. If he takes the condom off then you could arguably have a criminal case for rape as non-protected sex is not what you consented to.

Consent, sex and rape is a difficult area when talking about sex workers. Arguably; any woman selling sex is being raped regardless of whether they are paid or not because in my view; they are having sex because of financial recompense and to me, if you're not having sex because you are enthusiastically participating, then you are doing it because you're being paid, have been co-erced or forced or because you think it's what you 'should do' to keep someone else happy when it's something that makes you unhappy or you're ambivalent about.

So I'd say that any sex worker is being raped every time she has sex for money but knowing many sex workers; I know they often disagree with my views.

It's pedantics. The overwhelming majority of prostitutes are selling themselves out of desperation so using their services would, IMHO, be taking advantage of their misfortune. So maybe not rape but that doesn't somehow make it right.

I think there are men who not only do not care that they are inadvertent rapists, they get off on it.

• before

So, if a woman told you that she had willingly had sex with a man for money, you would explain to her that she was raped?

I think it depends on whether she would have had sex with the individual if there was no money involved? If the only reason she is having sex with that person is for the money then that is pretty coercive.

Should she not be allowed to make that choice that freely? Or do you believe that she cannot know her own mind?

I think that it would be a free choice very rarely - in the vast majority of cases there will be other factors involved.

One of the main factors being the pimp, who takes the money off her.

I know someone who used to work in a brothel. From what she said, no she never wanted the sex, she needed the money, that's it. And you weren't allowed to say no to a customer unless they'd previously "overstepped" boundaries (ie got violent/tried to do something that wasn't standard without paying etc). Even then the receptionist (who sits on their arse for a 12 hours shift taking a cut of the girls money and also a "tip" - usually 10% of what the girl earned that night) can insist on it. The receptionists hold onto the money until the end of the shift so if you refuse one customer then they'd send you home and keep your earnings for the night.

And it's not big money either - in most brothels the charge is £40 for 30 mins. The girls get £25 the owner gets £15. The first customer they don't get paid for as the £25 for that one goes to the receptionist. To earn £250 you'd have to have sex with 11 men in one shift. It's not easy money and it's not glamorous.

So yes, given all that, I would say that it counts as rape, as they actually can't say no without repercussions.

I don't have any respect for men that use prostitutes.
I imagine a lot of the time it's rape.

All men who sleep with prostituted women are rapists and should be referred to as such. Call a spade a spade.

They also quite often take what they haven't paid for, so rape on top of rape really. Scum

No-one is sleeping during these encounters. A penis is inserted into a woman, usually. Or placed in her hands.

Agree with those saying it's essentially rape

Vast majority of sex workers are not there out of choice - some literal,y trafficked and some just because of desperate other options

How any man could maintain sexual arousal in this transaction is beyond me. Even the idea makes me feel sick if I think about it for too long.

Sex with 11 men for £250

That's grotesque