Does having sex with a prostitute constitute rape?

[quencher]

A thread triggered this for me so I have decided to ask the question. If you consent to be paid for sex but don't feel like sleeping with the customer, are you being raped?

having worked for rape crisis I assure you this is categorically not the case

I have worked with women who assumed it wasn't considered rape if their husbands did it, for one thing

Eh? Why do you have "huge issues" with it?

Of course people don't always know (or maybe can't being themselves to call it "rape")

Why would talking about it bother you?

heron

Also a survivor of a similar assault and I'm afraid I disagree with.

In fact the idea that rape is dangerous strangers only is very very problematic

Mumofone

For starters analysis and discussion can initiate change.

For another no rape victims DON'T always know - especially when it's perpetrated by someone they know (which is the most common situation). I was abused by my father, it took years of counselling to BEGIN to accept it was abuse and not my fault.

A friend was raped by her ex boyfriend - he was only supposed to be collecting his belongings following the split and even though there was violence she struggled to accept it was rape.

There are many examples on here in the relationships section of wives being raped and dismissing because it's their husband (often because they're also being abused in other ways too).

Women can't talk freely about consent and sexual violence? OK. Can't say as I agree.

It's a smidge inflammatory to post "let the flaming commence" when no one has said anything yet, isn't it?

Graphista Abuse by an adult on a child, sexual violence and force are all clear, I totally accept that some people in relationships will have trouble acknowledging that what they have experienced is rape. However my issue is that we are now looking for situations i.e. Generally prostitution. Prostitutes are rape - we trivialise the act by trying to class every paid for sexual encounter as rape - I'm not sure I have adequately explained but hopefully you get my gist

EvenTheWind Apologies i shouldn't have put that

Mum

As per prior posters, many prostitues are influenced by pimps, brothel owners, addictions, past abuse etc. Do they really have freedom to sell or not sell their consent in those circumstances? Is,sexual consent a saleable commodity anyway?

Christ klassykringle that review is horrific. And a pretty clear description of rape

stitch, yes - I've actually messaged MNHQ to remove it as I realised it came across akin to "grief porn" (you know, where everyone competes to find the worst thing and be horrified about it?) and I didn't mean it that way. It just genuinely shocked me the other night and stuck with me.

That poor Woman in the review Jesus

I hope they don't remove it.

Oh! Sorry Ophelia, I just thought I'd been a bit inappropriate. They haven't replied so maybe they won't.

There are far worse reviews on punternet.
Including many of me and my "cold wet pussy" (in the words of one charmer)

They know you don't like it.

When I did some work with a project for sex workers and then did work with users of sex workers; what I heard a lot from the users wasn't about the sexual act in itself - it was the 'thrill' of doing something that most sectors of society view as something taboo and seedy. They could usually easily find willing sexual partners but there was something about the 'seediness' of purchasing sex and the fact that most people in their lives would find it awful that excited them.

From reading those "reviews" it's v much about power over the Woman too. They feel she has no right to say no.
It's truly awful

Does all that also applies to porn then??

I'd say porn is part of rape culture, yes, and probably the "stars" could be categorised the same way as prostitutes (except people watch rather than interact).

Have you watched much? I admit I only glanced at some free stuff after a thread ages ago to see what it was all about, but there seem to be about ten million categories (and shades of taboo) which normalise every expectation, and are often full of miserable drugged looking actors.

Not actors, prostitutes.

I have had a look not that log ago following some threads on here. And because I wanted to know exactely what you could find on free websites and what sort of stuff my dcs (who are becoming teenagers) might come across...

Yes I was thinking along the lines of 'porn actors' are usually in very similar situations than the prostitutes (as in MH, abuse in childhood and having little say in what is done to them)

Ah, apologies, thought I'd wiped out the word "actors" as I thought the same - clearly skipped over the second time.

There are few things more dispiriting than the kind of numbnut who has never, and will never, engaged in prostitution insisting on their right to make that choice that they don't want to make.

You have to be a real horror to care nothing for the harm done to women by prostitution because you feel oppressed if you don't have the choice to be a prostitute, even though you don't want to be one.

That level of making everything about yourself must make life very tiresome for everyone who has the misfortune of knowing you.

We seem to be redefining the concept of rape here.

So, according to the concept of rape espoused on this thread, prostitution is rape it would seem.

According to MOST people's definition, including the legal profession, it isn't.

It's all semantics. Call it rape if you will. I personally don't agree with that definition but it doesn't stop me from seeing prostitution as wrong.

Maybe this thread should have been called 'is prostitution wrong' rather than is it rape.

How do you define rape maggie?